As some of you might remember, our boy was placed with us two months ago. His behaviour, moods etc continues to evolve as he settles in and I think we are coping OK with most of the challenges and also enjoying some moments too!
However, I am struggling to know how to respond to the things below:-
For example his hands are a bit dry, cold weather etc. I put hand cream on mine (role modelling something, hoping to get him curious etc, as he said before, he doesn't like hand cream). He asked, "Why are you putting that on Trinny?" I said, "My hands a re a bit dry and a little sore" his reply was "My hands are sore....I like dry and sore hands"
We talk a lot about keeping him safe, caring for him, loving him etc. he often responds with things like "but I don't want to be safe" "I don't want you to love me"
When we talk about fun things we might do over the holidays, "I don't want to have any fun"
And tonight, when we talked about his spitting, which we are trying hard to explain is not a very nice thing to do (except when tooth brushing!), I said "I know that you are such a nice little boy and spitting is not really in your chatacter.....", his response was "but I don't want to be a nice boy"
It's heart breaking. Like he just feels so unworthy of the good things we want for him.
Can anyone help me see what the emotions might be behind this behaviour? How should we respond?
We have tried reassurance, saying we believe in him, saying we will love him whatever he says or does. "But I don't love you" he says.