Any other adopters out there?

[suejonez]

I'm in the process of adopting internationally. Hoping to be matched by Sept. Anyone else?

Sorry to give my view so late LB but you must go with what you think you can handle - you will do a child no favours at all taking on somethign you can;t cope with. There will be other parents for this child and other children for you to parent.

Thanks for your reply suejonez (I usually seem to kill converstations when I join them so your post is very welcome).
After much wrestling with my conscience I told hubby that I didn't feel comfortable with the offered child, and he agreed too.
When I told our SW she didn't seem at all surprised and said that she known all along that the child would be bordering on what we'd said we'd accept.

I have also been the phantom thread killer at times, though I know it's really nothing personal, somtimes it feels like it is!

It's horrible having to choose isn't it? I felt awful ticking that list of what you'll accept and what you won't. It felt like a shopping list and everytime I ticked something I wouldn't accept I felt like I was turning away a child. But its a life long commitment - you wouldn't choose the first man you went out with to marry, just because you wanted to get married, did you. You waited for the right one.

Good luck.

btw - what age are you approved for?

hi sue i did go through what you would describe as post adoption depression just for a short while a little teary and down i felt so guilty feeling like this

sue, your thread about kissing better was fantastically moving. You sound an ideal parent. I think you and your child will be equally lucky in each other. Just I feel my children and I are lucky to have each other. And you are not in the least old. I was 41 when I had my second child, and it is utterly irrelevant. Love is love.

Thats really sweet of you to say so and I'm impressed by your fortitude at having read it all!

You will so enjoy being a mother. It really is fantastic. Who could ever imagine something so frustrating, infuriating and visceral could be so beautiful, but it is. I wish you well. I tell you something, If my children had no mummy or daddy, what would I want for them? An institution, or a mummy like you or Issyfit? The answer to that is so obvious I don't even need to write it.

Suejonez so sorry I've not replied - been chaotic with the kids!
We're approved for 4 - 7 year old. S.W today suggested Adoption Register as after eight months we've no match!