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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Newbies

999 replies

Italiangreyhound · 12/09/2012 01:36

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

OP posts:
Choccyjules · 14/12/2013 15:51

Have emailed the SW to give her a nudge!

Happiestinwellybobs · 14/12/2013 16:16

Our GP refused to accept payment; thought it was awful that we should have to pay £150. Our LA were very direct about the fact that we wouldn't receive any financial help as DD was a baby (10mo.) and babies don't need anything Confused.

As a note, you also have to pay the court costs (about £160) and then birth certificates/passports...

Kewcumber · 14/12/2013 16:40

techncally welliebobs - I htink you get one free short form adoption cert which is about as much use as a chocolate teapot. Actually less use because at least you can eat a chocolate teapot.

Meita · 14/12/2013 16:44

We officially started mid Nov, so are now only 1 month in - but if they won't pay the medicals bill until January (why did they send us to do the medicals so quickly then?) they are cutting it very close to get the forms back in time. AND they are making our GP hold on to the filled in forms for a whole month. I just hope GP won't go and lose them!

Yes there are some things we like about our LA but it isn't how they run the process! We figured, at the end of the day we can deal with trouble for the duration of the assessment process, but the child we get at the end, is for the rest of our lives, so that counts more. Our LA has experience with concurrent planning and they tend to have a large number of very young children needing adoption, so we are more likely to find a match within a reasonable timeframe with them, compared to others (as our DS is only 3 we have no choice but to restrict ourselves to very young children).

Happiestinwellybobs · 14/12/2013 16:47

Grin. Mmmm chocolate teapots. Actually our LA made a huge deal about sorting DD's passport out for us. It went on for months after the adoption order went through .and when it arrived it was in her birth name. Grrrr...

But all a small price to pay for having the most amazing little girl in our lives (feeling a bit soppy today, as DD has had a lovely day with my mum and dad meeting Father Christmas)

Inthebeginning · 14/12/2013 17:08

hold on to those thoughts meita! x Grin

prumarth · 18/12/2013 11:06

Just had a session with our social worker and she has given us a panel date for end of Feb!!!! I nearly burst into tears!. Of course we are still doing everything our of synch as we haven't yet done our 3 day workshop and references still need interviewing but the fact that she has confidence in us enough to book panel is a massive boost. Happy, happy, happy! Now back to work!

Meita · 18/12/2013 14:24

excellent news pru! It's good when things aren't just about ticking boxes, but rather the SW looks at you as individuals. Wow, only 2 months to go! :)

Inthebeginning · 18/12/2013 20:27

fab news pru!
Our s.wrker emailed today. Par is done!

prumarth · 18/12/2013 21:07

Thanks both. Inthebeginning you must be pleased - have you seen a copy yet? Think that bit will feel quite strange - what their interpretation of you is!
Meita, keep plugging away - sometimes feels like the right hand has no what the left hand is doing but you will get there!

Choccyjules · 18/12/2013 22:40

Really pleased for you, pru

Today we got an email from our SW saying she's passing us on to a 'new' colleague (argh) as she has a new role... it looks from recent letters like she is now Head of Dept. I then realised her acceptance of my medical issues and her attitude when we enquired were a big part of us choosing this LA and now I'm a bit thrown. Even DH was worried by the change. Hey ho....

Inthebeginning · 18/12/2013 22:46

oh choccy you must be so frustrated. but if she's accepting and head of department now then she'll carry lots of weight with decisions?
haven't seen it yet pru but will be very weird indeed. Don't really know how I will feel about it yet!

Choccyjules · 18/12/2013 23:06

That's a good point, thank you. I only think she's now HoD but things certainly point that way.

Choccyjules · 18/12/2013 23:07

Ooh yes and re your PAR, is that the new, apparently more streamlined version?

Inthebeginning · 19/12/2013 07:14

yep it will be. Although at 24,000 words it still has quite a bit to it.Grin

Meita · 19/12/2013 12:02

I bet you can't wait to see your PAR, Inthebeginning. Do you think you will get a copy before Christmas?

Choccy we tried hard NOT to base our choice on the individual SWs we met. We really liked those from one LA but they will often outsource assessments to agency SWs, so we decided not to go on that. We only half liked the SW we met from the LA we decided to go with, but then, it is very possible we will be allocated someone else, so it doesn't matter.
But not knowing who is going to be your SW, and not having met them yet even if you do know, is kind of nerve-wracking. Will they be great? Awful? Will we get along? What will they make of a, b and c which we discussed in depth at the initial home meeting and the other SW was ok with it? … Anyway, I hope you will get someone who 'gets' you and things can start rolling soon!

Choccyjules · 19/12/2013 20:59

There were lots of factors but as you say, this one 'got' us and our situation.
New one is coming out in three weeks, due to Christmas...!

Choccyjules · 20/12/2013 18:13

My medical is back :-) we can be signed off for Stage One! inthreeweekswhenwenextseeSW

prumarth · 20/12/2013 20:27

Fab choccy! Great news!

Inthebeginning · 21/12/2013 08:41

choccyjules that's brilliant news! roll on stage two! !

namechangesforthehardstuff · 21/12/2013 18:45

Gosh everyone moving forward :)

I'm now quite apprehensive about our PAR (which we won't get for months so a bit premature) but it's going to be really weird reading about ourselves like that.

We've got our mid way review (not sure about correct terminology here?) after the holiday. That's also going to be quite weird but it's all starting to seem so real now. Have made some tentative forays into conversation with DD too. :) But now it's moving forward and we're really committed it's making me worry that something will go wrong and we won't be accepted...

Inthebeginning · 24/12/2013 18:55

so our par has been checked and given to us next week. But s.wrker phobed today. ....With a possible match Shock ! !!!!! Read all the information and have said a tentative yes! !!!!! cant get our hopes up. no its a no as haven't been to panel yet etc etc.
wishing you all a wonderful Christmas.

inthe
x x x

prumarth · 24/12/2013 19:38

Aaaaaaah! That's fantastic!!!! What a wonderful start to the Christmas break for you. Have a wonderful Christmas!

namechangesforthehardstuff · 24/12/2013 19:44

Oh wow! Amazing news inthebeginning. SW must be so sure you're a shoe-in :)

Inthebeginning · 25/12/2013 15:06

Thanks both. floating on air at the thought of it (not getting our Hopes up ar all) honestly think it'll be a no. But will see where this takes us. Happy Christmas everyone x