In 5 days we'll know if we are able to adopt a little girl

[lettinggo]

I won't go thorugh all the process that's brought us this far, but we're 6 1/2 years in the process.

In 5 days time, on June 30th, we're going to find out if we will be able to adopt a little girl from Russia. She must be made available for domestic adoption until June 30th and after that will be able to be adopted internationally. She has some minor health issues, as far as we know nothing hugely serious, but apparantly Russians don't like to adopt children with health issues. She's been adoptable since she was 2 months old.

For the past month we've known about her and have been told that if she doesn't get adopted domestically, we will be allowed to adopt her. In my heart I know we should be hoping she gets to be adopted domestically because that would obviously be what is best for her but it's hard not to hope that it doesn't happen. I'm just not that good.

And now there's only 5 days to go and she's still there. I'm not at all religious, I certainly don't pray. But I remember years ago doing a novena (type of prayer service you do for 9 days where you pray for a specific thing) to St Francis Xavier and the words are rattling around in my head

"but if what I ask is not for the glory of God and the good of my soul,
I pray and desire that which is most conducive to both"

Might not make sense to anyone not Catholic but it's a comfort at the moment.
Sorry for the ramble. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Thursday at 1pm (close of business in that part of Russia).

sorry mary, yes i have had one wee glass. I needed it to get through the wedding plans talk without ROFL

Dietsky dom is childrens home

Hows it going, im hot?

Please get a new name,i cant go on callimg you that........

Awww . Daddy will get his turn ... usually when you've been up all night with them and then Daddy gets back from work and is the most exciting person in the world! So pleased your DS is so happy with her too.

Your wish is my command, Kristingle! I was fed up logging in with that name anyway, it came from a discussion about Real Housewives of New York

All is going supremely well. She is just the most contented little thing ever. The only time she ever gets upset is when she's really tired and I'm trying to get her to lie down for her nap, and even then the protest usually lasts only a minute before the eyes close.

So today's developments...1. She crawled down the hall into the front room where ds was glued to his laptop. That's the farthest she's gone away from me. 2. She put her hands up for dh (who had been feeding her pieces of pineapple) several times and stayed in his arms for a minute or two before coming back to me. 3.She shakes her head when you say 'no no' to her and nods when you say 'yes yes' and loves when everyone claps and tells her what a clever girl she is. 4. She's going for little rides around the kitchen in her buggy in preparation for future ventures out in the big wide world because I don't think she's ever been in a pram before and I don't want it to scare her. 5. She ate a bit of a crunchie bar accidentally- I gave her the bar to bang on the coffee table, a favourite pastime of hers, and she was chewing away at the wrapper and bit right through it. It was a hit! 6. She babbled 'yayayaya' out loud - I'm still a little concerned about the fact that she doesn't babble, she just makes noises. Other babies in her room were babbling away. When things are settled I'll have her hearing checked to eliminate that.. I'd welcome any thoughts. 7. My mam and sister visited and she touched hands with both of them from the safety of my lap. 8. She thinks her big brother is a god and shouts for him when he leaves the room. He loves that she loves him 8. We're settling into a little routine. I'm learning her signals for tiredness etc which is great. I know now that I was letting her get overtired the first couple of days

One other little concern is that I can't get her to drink formula at all. When we were in Russia, I bought kefir but she had no interest in it. When she was in the baby home, she wouldn't drink it there either. The only thing I saw her drink was the compote. I'd really like her to take formula because she's small for her age and slight and I'd like to build her up. She'll take a little sip and then cast it aside. She's drinking water now from a bottle with a little bit of apple juice to flavour it a bit (having started on very diluted Ribena when I was despairing of her drinking anything at all). Any suggestions?

It's all just magic, it really is. She's really taken to us. I know she's still very unsettled because she needs to be in my arms always anywhere other than the kitchen, which is where we spend most of the day. But for a little child who 8 days ago was taken away from everything she knew, she's coping with the trauma really well, at least outwardly. I woke this morning (much much too early, 5.30 am) to a tap tap tap on my cheek and a little girl beaming good morning at me. Life just doesn't get any better.

a lurker just posting to say i have been following your story and i am THRILLED for you! the best xmas present ever, it sounds like you are all doing really well!

i have no idea re the formula, you could try flavouring it with milkshake powder but that is NOT recomended i am sure! or some of the toddler formulas are sweeter and so she might like them?

4madboys, I never thought I'd be putting Ribena in a baby's bottle either but your ideals go out the window when you're desperate. I'll admit now that yesterday I was making hot chocolate for ds and I made one for her using formula and a small amount of chocolate but she didn't like it. Just as well really

Another one who has just read the whole thread and ended up with 'something in my eye'. What a lovely lovely story.

I don't know anyone who has adopted before and it's been a real eye opener for me. There is something very special about adopting, I mean I know having a biological child is also special but didn't fully realise the special-ness of adopting a child before reading this thread.

It's just so heart warming to know that this little girl has been given such a lovely home with such a lovely family. She sounds absolutely adorable Happy. She has come so far in such little time. I'm so excited for her, she is going to have such a great time with you.

Did you check whether she was being given sweetened kefir? I know some places give it to them sweetened. Try sweeteneing the formula then reducing it slowly - compote is VERY sweet (did you try any?)

No I didn't try the compote, Kew, I just stuck my nose in the cup. The doctor did tell me she had no allergy to sugar, which I thought was an odd thing to tell me considering the babies didn't get anything sweet apart from apple sauce from jars. There was kefir on offer to her after her evening meal but she never wanted it so I feel she just didn't like it. I'll try sweetening the formula in the hope that it might appeal to her. I presume I just use sugar?

rusian doctors are (IME) obsessed by the idea that children are allergic to sugar! They made a big deal about not giving the childrne sugary things (eg baby riusks) then sweetened lots of things like the compote with heaps of sugar! Yes I'd try it with sugar, otherwise try a lactose-free formula on the offchance her lack of "fancying" kefir is lactose related. Is she OK with ordinary yoghurt? IF so I'd dose her up with that.

Try some milkshake flavouring in with the formula - yeah, it's not ideal - but hey ho, if it means she gets the goodness of the formula it's a small price to pay - you can reduce it and drop it later when she's more used to the underlying taste of formula.

Have you tried any of the childrens' vitamins?

Also she seems to be eating well and taking quite well to chocolate new things, so I wouldn't stress too much.

She sounds really lovely and it's great to hear that things are going well with everyone! :)

Hi happy, great new name

You are doing really well with her. Spending most of your time in one room realy good plan, as they are not used to more thna a couple of rooms. Ditto buggy acclimitisation. Will she let you do up the straps? This can be a bit of a problem with cars seats too.

Agree lack of milk/formula a problem.botttle for bodning amd formula for calories. Though formula IS disgusting, if she s never taken it beofre it woudl be hard to start now. Have you tasted it?? Yuck!!! Good plan to try it sweetened and gradually reduce. If you can reduce the ribena gradually that will help. Or at least give it in a sippy cup

. But ultimately bodning more importnat than teeth and she seems to be doing great. The velcro baby thing is excellent-, although i knwo its a bit tiring occasionally. Remember no one but you ( or dh if she will let him) to do ANY caring -food, bottles, cuddles, nappies, baths, bedtime, tooth brushing etc

And crawling very good. Do NOT allow anyoen to " encourage" her to walk, let her crawl as long as she wants to

you can use fructose to sweeten if you want. i was remembering when my boys when through phases of being a bit fussy with food/milk etc. and i use to make smoothies with formula, if she likes fruit then use her fave fruits to make a smoothie? and also maybe let her try drinking it through a straw? just a thought anyway :)

hope you are having a lovely day :)

Oh I forgot DS didn't really babble either. Made noises but not much babbling - my mum made it her mission in life until he could say - MUMUMUMUM! But that was about it.

He was a very late talker and on the verge of SALT at 3, he was nigh on impossible to understand to anyone except me and even I struggled to understand. He still has some minor speech problems (very minor) and he talks up a storm so I wouldn;t worry about it just yet - I was recommended to consider a referral at 2.5yrs but talking to a friend who is a SALT she said that the "normal" range is so wide at that age that it would be very difficult to assess unless he had an identifiable problem and with the language change complicating things it isn;t surprising if speech is delayed. She gave me some very simple exercises which works a treat (let me know in a year if you need them!).

Hearing test may be a good idea but I'd leave it a bit until she's more settled. Our Paediatrician said if he could hear the floor board creaking outside his bedroom at night then there wasn't anything wrong with his hearing (there isn;t)

try avocado to build her up - DS was minute and he virtually lived on it and it worked a treat. If she doesn't like it raw, blend it with an orange to make an orange mousse - I know it sounds disgusting but its delicious and you can;t taste the avocado just creamy orange.

Ooh, you're all just brilliant, so you are.

This morning I gave her formula with 2, yes 2, spoons of sugar and she drank 6oz of it so happy days.

She's in DH's arms right now playing away with him. She put the arms out for him again this morning so she's starting to accept him. My cleaner came this morning to give me a present for her and dd was brilliant- she was having non of her. She stayed in my arms and when the lady tried to touch her, she pulled away and clung to me. Clever girl!

Re velcro baby, did the hoovering this morning with her in a sling!!

yes clever girl, she knows who she is happy with and she will get to know other people when SHE is ready to!

yay for the sling, i still do that with my 12mth old dd and she is a right lump!

glad she had the formula, a bit of sugar will be fine, its extra calories!!

glad she is coming round to dh, were there many men in the home she was in? only it may be strange for her to have a male figure constant in her life? which could also be why she is taking longer to get used to him? when my cousin was tiny she was terrified with men with beards, this included her uncle and grandad! in the end they shaved them off!

That's good about the milk :) Sugar is probably better than flavouring as it wont change the flavour so much, so reducing it shouldn't be so noticeable. 8-10 spoons of sugar a day isn't going to be great for her, but hey ho, needs must and hopefully very soon you can cut it down.

It's great that she seems to be accepting DH quite readily too now, it's only been just over a week, no time at all really, but I expect it seems like ages for you all :)

x

Yy to advocado, only weaning food with more calories than bm or formula

Yy also to hearing test. Hearing problems v common in babies who have had bottles propped ( common in institutions). Dont know about ireland, but in Uk hearimg tests for babies and toddlers are very stress free, if you go to a speciList centre

DD also v delayed speech. Silent at 8 months. Only one sound, da, at 13monthz when she came home. By 18 months had sveral clear words and by second birthday was a very clear talker. Id reccomend the book Baby Talk by dr sally ward. Its not for adopted kids, just those at risk of speech and language delay. If you Pm an address, Ill send you it. Use soemone elses address if youd rather remain anonymous

You wont get anyone to assess her speech for a long time. They have no equiva,ent population to compare her to. They might try to use ESL data but its useless -she is not learning english as a second language, she is learning as a second first languaueg. ( im assuming that your first lanagueg is english and that no one in the family is a native rusian speaker).

Although she doesnt yet talk im assuming that she has an age appropriate understanding of russian. Did she seem to understadn the caretakers ok? If so, there is no reason to suspect a language processing disorder or hearing problem yet. So try not to worry just yet

HTH

Ahh, I haven't checked this thread for a couple of days...how wonderful and a late congratulations from me :)

Kristingle, I'll message you now. I'd really appreciate the loan of the book.

Re hearing etc... She did seem to understand the carers when they spoke and if anyone came into the room to talk to the carers, she'd stop what she was doing to listen so I presume she understood. My cleaner spoke in Russian to her today and she certainly listened intently. I don't think there's a hearing problem but I'd like to eliminate it. When I start to say 'round and round the garden' she immediately gives me her hand so she already understands that those words with those sounds go with the hand rhyme, and she smiles immediately when I say 'this little piggy...' and sticks her foot out so I don't feel there's an understanding problem.

Kew, what did your mum do to make your ds say mum? When she does any voclisation, I imitate her as I used to do with ds when he was a much younger baby. When we look in the mirror, her favourite thing to do, I pat her and say her name and then pat myself and say 'Mama' loads of times. Is there anything else I could be doing? I know I'm probably worrying far too early but if there is any problem, I'd rather get working on it asap.

DH has set up a photo drop box, I think that's what it's called, and has loaded photos of her so if anyone would like to see my gorgeous girl (and boy!!) send me a pm and I'll send you the link to it.

Ooh yes please if you don't mind - tried to click on your name to see if you had any pics as have been reading your thread for weeks now. Love your new name btw, makes me smile every time :)

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