Why is do parents not "thank" a teacher?

[Dcteacher]

I took 11 children to Borneo. For 2 weeks.

We did a lot.
Suba dived in the South China Sea.
Trekked the foothills of Mount Kinabalu.
Stayed in the jungle and learned jungle craft.
Spent to day on a tropical island.

On return. Not one single parent thanked me for the trip of a lifetime for their child.

I had spent the previous 2 years helping with fundraising, answering questions doing the paperwork, taking time out of my holiday. This is not in my job description. I don't have to do this.

Not one.

Why?

You say your are going free so your getting all these multiple once in a lifetime trips for free and want us to feel sorry for you because you didn't get a thank you from the people who paid and didn't even get to go because it took up part of the 6 weeks summer holiday you got off work which they don't?

Also you say they are 18 and you won't see them again, they are adults perfectly capable of thanking who ever they feel deserves thanks themselves.

That's awful OP! I ALWAYS thank the teachers who organise overseas trips for my daughter. It's extremely rude not to.

It's amazing how it's so terrible and yet there are still plenty of volunteers.

Obviously going on these trip s won't suit all teachers' lifestyles/time of life, but we always have more volunteers than we need for the big trips.

Well ...thank you.

Yes, I got to go away for free. In my holiday, looking after 11 children 24/7 at no extra pay. To a place I have been privately before, so I felt secure to take them.

However, some of you, have made very good points. I actually feel I should look at other point of view. But, I will not be doing any more residentials. Too much effort that is not on the job description, for so little appreciation.

Yep these trips are the bane of our lives.

They aren't a gift they are a huge cost foisted onto parents and we a 'cruel' if we deny our kids who want to go even though we don't have the money and have to sacrifice our own family stuff and if we do it for one kid we have to for the others when its their turn too. It costs more than any family holiday we have ever been able to afford.

Every parent at the school gate rants about them, no one is overjoyed at teachers charging huge amount to get free holidays but hey its too late though as the KIDS are told and then we are just stuck with the fallout.

Many people would rather the trip of a lifetime was a family event within our own set price range.

If the teachers would stop doing it that would actually be great.

Too much effort that is not on the job description, for so little appreciation.

And in one short sentence you've summarised everything that's currently wrong with teaching! 😪

I think it's a little different at those ages. It's not like they are 7 years old coming back on a coach where the parents are stood waiting and they have to be ticked off on a list to be let back to their parents. They are nearly adults or adults. They should thank you themselves but the parents probably aren't involved in the same way they are when they are little.

I am extremely grateful that my daughter's teachers took her to NYC for example. Yes, I paid for the trip and some of the teachers enjoyed meeting up with friends and family in the US, but it's still a trip of a lifetime my daughter got to experience and they kept her safe and the trip would have cost a lot more if we had gone as a family. I am very grateful to the teachers.

I always thanked the Primary Teachers as l picked up. Made a definite effort to do that. But if l was picking up my ds at 18 he would be embarrassed if l even got out of the car. He would do his own thank yous then. My dc did go on some amazing trips and l was extremely grateful and appreciated the effort but as far as l can remember left it to them to do their bit which they very definitely did on the day. If l was at a parents meeting after that l made it my business to rave to those teachers about the adventure they had but not on the night.

I think many people don’t value manners anymore and many have a real sense of entitlement nowadays. A lot of parents just think it’s your job so no need to say thank you. But it’s just rude. I pay my daughter’s dance teacher (quite a lot) but I still say thank you when I pick her up from class and so does she. To me manners are really important. I really appreciate it when kids leave my classroom and say thank you on the way out. I also say thank you to them for working hard.

Sorry. I want to say Thank you to you....I always go way over over board and buy presents 4 times a year for the teachers of my kids

I’m in two minds here. On the one hand, I’m a big fan of please and thank you and I would hope my teenager would have thanked you themselves. I generally thank teachers at the end of the term or year for all their efforts, not specifically trips but yes thank yous are important.

On the other hand, you sound quite resentful about all the time and effort the trip used. I’m a bit bothered to think that teachers are taking my children away begrudgingly and don’t really want to be there. I’m also a bit surprised to hear that regular term time residentials aren’t in the job description (not the OP but a different PP talking about taking 7/8 year olds away). If they can’t find willing teachers to go along, if it’s all a major source of resentment and hassle, then I’d rather these trips didn’t run.

Borneo? Really?

I hope you're being sarcastic.

There is nothing "holiday" like about school trips for the teachers involved. Paperwork, risk assessments, endless emails to parents in run up, monitoring medication, ensuring the students' safety, being available 24/7 in case something goes wrong, being completely culpable if something does go wrong. It's far more stressful than being at school teaching.

Also the holiday might be "free" but we don't get paid overtime for this.

I have always given teachers a bottle of wine and a thank you for school (overnight trips) but I have only ever once given an end of term present to a teacher which seems to be at odds with MN threads about that. I do think taking pupils away is well above and beyond a teacher's job so appreciation is due.

Hmm…my work has never sent me to Borneo, I get 6 weeks off a year, and no one thanks me for doing my job.

Saying that, residential school trips are not yet on my radar and it wouldn’t have occurred to me how much extra work it is for staff. I’ll remember to thank my children’s teachers when the time comes.

And there's your answer about how most people think. The number of weeks holiday teachers get is completely irrelevant but some people think you should be grateful to give it up.

If its not your job then don't do it if you don't want to

I hear you, OP.

I work in an independent school and the expectation from the parents is that we provide 'above and beyond' extracurricular opportunities for the kids. This involves a lot of overseas trips.

Yes, I have benefited from being able to go to places I would never have gone independently, and had some amazing experiences.

However, it is exhausting and stressful. It is not a holiday. Being responsible for the safety of 50+ kids in a foreign country and having to get them there and back, sometimes on multiple forms of transport, without anyone going missing, getting injured and so on is a huge burden to carry. I never sleep well and I am never relaxed. I am on duty 24/7. If a kid needs you in the night, you have to get up and deal with it.

I have never had a thank you from a parent for doing a residential trip. The last one I organised took me hours of administration to get off the ground - dealing with all the booking details, getting passports, sorting visas, collating all the medical stuff, answering endless parent questions. It was a fab trip. The kids had a brilliant time. They were all very thankful and that was appreciated - and to be honest their thanks was worth more than a parent email would have been. But at the same time, to not even get one email from a parent to say thank you - I was shocked. I think that they just don't realise how much work it is. I also think in my school, the parents think it's part and parcel of our jobs - they don't thank us for teaching their kids on a daily basis, because that's a given - and taking them on a trip is the same, in their eyes. There is also the kind of attitude of some posters on here that they've essentially paid for us to have a free holiday so perhaps we should be thanking them and not the other way round!

To the people who think it's a free holiday...really?! REALLY?!?
IT'S UNPAID WORK IN A TEACHER'S HOLIDAY!

Thank you for organising it, OP. Fair enough not to organise any more.

Unfortunately, a lot of things done at school are not in the job description. It's easy to say "it's not your job, don't do it". But if all teachers had this attitude, there would be no trips away - day or overnight, no extra curricular activities, no after school clubs, no lunch time clubs.... (all of these things are done on a volunteer basis where I am from!)

There comes a point in every teacher's career when they have had enough of giving free time and energy to things for little to no appreciation. The sad thing is the expectations of schools and teachers are constantly rising, and the appreciation is constantly decreasing!

I’m with you OP. I’ve done 2 residentials for primary school kids. Definitely not holidays of a lifetime - just outdoor activities in early spring to keep the price down. No extra pay obvs. Huge responsibility. Broken nights due to misbehaviour and homesickness. Not been around for my own kids, put childcare in place for them as I thought it was important that all children have these experiences.
It is work 24 hours a day, not a moment to have a cup of tea with another adult, but it is satisfying to see the children having such fun.
However, not a single thank you from child or parent from the 70 families whose children I’ve taken. And the last trip I did involved an incident, instigated by a child, that took hours to resolve when we got back and really brought home to me what is at stake for teachers when they take on these trips.
I will never do one again.
Teachers who take my own children get thank you emails and wine. I just want them to know I appreciate it.