I've got a food addiction and I'm going to end up damaging myself.

Ok, mine was 98US dollars for lifetime daily meetings support and a top up to 198US for the more indepth version with one on one support etc. You're in a really horrible place and it is scary. You can get out of it one day at a time. It's similar to any other addiction but it's not credited as such.

Please don’t be scared about OA. It works on 12 step principles and whenever I’m in anything 12 step AA, NA, it feels like being home with my kin. The honesty you will hopefully hear will totally blow you away.

I really hope it goes well.

Please try not to hate yourself OP. I know its very easy to say, much harder to do. But you have an illness, a disease. It's not about morality. I know society tells you it is,but its not true. See if GP can prescribe that new drug which reduces appetite? Good luck x

I don't know if my BMI is high enough at 28?

I feel really sick today, I've got a migraine (I get them every month before my period) and I don't wanna go but I'm going to try to

Good luck at your meeting, OP.

Have you heard of the 'reverse tick'?

Its what the graph looks like for a typical weight loss surgery patient. So a steep down and then a rebound up again....in others words, what you have experienced is not a failure of willpower/failure of the surgery....but an absolutely typical reaction to the surgery.

You aren't a failure, you aren't doing badly, you are experiencing what the vast, vast majority of post bariatric patients experience.

If you watch this video, it is a US surgeon talking about post operative experience, from about 10 mins in he talks bout the 'magical' first year, from about 12 mins in he talks about what happens in year 2......

There is lots of help out there that is free.....the video I've attached is by a surgeon who records his patient info sessions, so if you don't have aftercare from your own surgeon you can learn a lot from their channel.

I think the long term answer is that you will have to change your eating behaviours/choices long term....but that's OK.....the surgery was just a step in the right direction, and you are doing what post surgery patients do, which is have the surgery, realise it isn't a complete cure, and there is more stuff to be addressed. That's Ok. You are OK. You will be OK....its a journey.

Therapy, you are using food to provide comfort .

This isn't unusual, I'm dealing with it myself right now.

We need to find the cause and other ways to support that need.

Try to keep a diary of how you are feeling when you are eating, are you lonely, anxious, worrying?

I've been told to try a really good hot chocolate as a substitute, something fancy making the ritual of making it part of the self care.

You need therapy. You won’t crack this without it. Get on the nhs waiting list (you might be able to self-refer) and save up to try and go privately. The money you save on additional food would probably cover a lot of it. You only have to go every other week, or start at once a month. Some counsellors see people online or by phone which is cheaper.

I just don't know how to seperate food and feelings :(

That's because your subconscious mind (your 'inner child') learnt to associate food with comfort - in your childhood it was the only thing you could rely on not to let you down. At that stage you had no thought about any health implications (or cost) - you just wanted to feel better.

You - the conscious, rational you, know this. But as far as your subconscious is concerned it's still following the strategy that made you happy when you were little; it hasn't got the message that this strategy is no longer necessary and that it's actively making you unhappy now. It's NOT working against you - please remember that.

Remedial hypnosis would allow you to connect directly with that part of your mind and, quite simply, tell it to stop. There's no trance, no 'woo', no homework and the changes made are permanent. It generally takes 4 sessions (an initial consultation and 3 change sessions) over 4 weeks.

Thankyou.

The meeting really wasn't for me. It felt (no offense to anyone who goes) a bit cultish, it had Catholic Mass vibes and that sets my anxiety off. It was just not for me, I just wnated to. Leave from the second I went in.

1. Sweet or salted carbs which are processed always consist of the biggest food addiction. Stop all breads, cakes, chips, crisps and so on and instead start by eating as much you like porridge with honey, boiled potatoes and yogurt with fruit , at least is natural and not processed. After couple of weeks, bring fish and turkey meat plus veg and fruit obviously and start tiny tiny but reduce the amount of your intake.
2. I use private nutritionist and anyone private these days. One meeting per month cost from 50 to 100 Pounds depending where you live.

start tiny bit reducing the portion size, not tiny tiny, sorry

Well I've cut out all carbs and sugars.

Last 3 days I've been on protein shakes and high protein foods with salad and veggies.

I feel shit but I know that's sugar withdrawal.

I have just read ultra processed people by Chris van tuleken. He argues that it is processed food that is designed to be addictive and real food is not addictive and does not override our bodies hunger signals. He argues that people now have no more willpower than they did in the 80’s when everyone was thin and just before the advent of mass produced ultra processed food. I have lost weight by eating non addictive food and walking more. May be worth checking it out op. Both brothers did a podcast as well which describes what you have experienced.

It's definitely sugars and processed foods that keep us trapped in this cycle. Low carb/sugar diet is the way to go, it takes time but you will see the benefits and you will crave food less.

You may have to accept you can't have chocolate or cake again though. Might not be the case for everyone, but for me, if I have chocolate it sets me off on a spiral of overeating that it's hard to break.

How did the OA meeting go?

Might hypnotherapy help?

@Spambod such a good book isn't it

Bluntly speaking, it's not surgery you need it's therapy. IMO, the vast majority of people who are morbidly obese are eating their feelings. Find a good trauma therapist and face up to your past. Good luck.

Bit late considering I had the surgery 2 years ago but if I find a time machine I'll update x

PS I absolutely do not regret having the surgery.

I couldn't have lost 10lbs without it. Let alone 100.

I hated it. It's was very weird. Not for me at all.

Any solution you find is going to be hard @ShakeDatTing2

Do you want to stick to your old ways?
Do you want to embrace a difficult new path?

Are you talking about Overeaters anonymous?

If so, I didn't like it for a whole host of reasons. That doesn't mean I don't want to make changes or I won't find something that suits me.

I jsy didn't like the set up, the implications, the 3 min timer to talk about your trauma, the monotone replies, the hand holding circle.

Felt very 'drink the coolaid' to me.

That doesn't mean I've come home and ordered McDonald's.

There are a lot of paths between OA and doing nothing. Ultimately anything you do will be easier with a hand hold. Holding a hand can be one of the most difficult things to do. The choice is yours.
I still think you are in a good head space to make this work. Have you looked into the OA online stuff? From what a PP said it seems less religious based.

Hope today went OK got your OP.

I'm doing well.

Not slipped up yet, lost 4.5lbs since Thursday.

Just trying to keep myself under control.

Every time I go to eat something I ask myself

'why are you doing this? Are you hungry?..

Yes... Is this the best option to eat, is it healthy, will it nourish you?

No... Then why are you reaching for food. Is it boredom? How are you feeling? What's happened?

And I will will get a glass of water and journal it away instead, writing things down is really helping.

So sorry for not reading the whole thread but a friend of mine completely sorted herself out by joining Overeating Anonymous (the food version of Alcoholics Anonymous). It’s all free https://www.oagb.org.uk/