I've got a food addiction and I'm going to end up damaging myself.

I've had bariatric surgery and lost around 85lb. I've gained about 13 and lost half of that recently. I had a house move and some really difficult family stuff. Plus a have a few hormonal issues so my journey was slower than others.

So what I mean is I get it. But your surgery does still work if you eat the right things. I'd aim to maintain rather than lose as you try to overcome your addiction or binge disorder. I think with me I have a bit of a binge disorder. In that I can no lt do it but it's definitely my default way of thinking. Like all or nothing.

Also 16lb gain on 100lb loss is nothing. I know you aren't happy with it in terms of appearance but in terms of health you're still doing amazing. I think this is important to say as I've seen loads of people feel like a small gain is a failure and give up.

Do you have to have foods that are weakness for you in the house? Certainly you don't need chocolate, sweets etc at home. All bread could be kept frozen. No oven chips. Can you make it hard for yourself?

@ShakeDatTing @ShakeDatTing2 well done on taking the steps you have!

I totally empathise as I also struggle with the same issues that have stemmed from childhood albeit from what sounds like different reasons to you.

I have just been in touch with a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders including binge eating and I honestly think that something like this is the only way that I (and others with the same issues) have a chance of getting better.

In case you were wondering about the cost they have psychotherapists who charge £65 a session and psychologists who charge £110 a session. I didn't have a clue how much this type of therapy was before contacting them so thought I'd add it here in case it helps anyone else reading this.

I hope you can ignore any posters suggesting specific diets as that's just not helpful at all.

Good luck with everything 💐

I'm the same tho without the trauma. I've conquered it, but still see myself as recovering, through a no sugar and no flour programme. Would recommend. DM if you like. It is a relief to be free.

Hey OP, just came to say same. I eat so much chocolate it’s insane and embarrassing, I’m running out of places to buy it and my local supermarkets definitely know because I’m in buying chocolate every day. I can eat a big bar of chocolate, chocolate yogurt and packet of biscuits a day, every day. I’ve managed to keep my weight down by always running around and having a good diet around it but I binge every day and I’m frightened of the damage it’s doing to my brain and body.

I tried ‘beat’ and they were useless and unsupportive. I’ve been waiting for counselling for ages. I can’t afford to go private or join Noom or anything else that always gets suggested - there’s no free support. I send you all the love, food addiction is so hard. I hope you come through this, I wish I had an answer for the both of us. Xx

It is so hard. You deserve better, you deserve self love and self care in the form of good, nourishing food.. sending support OP. It's a horrible burden.

Ah OP. Your post couldn't be more timely for me. I had a sleeve on the NHS 2 years ago, after waiting around 5 years. I had to have it done as I could hardly breathe, couldn't walk across the room without struggling. I only lost 60lbs, then put a stone back on, but I needed to lose 10 stone overall to get anywhere near a healthy weight. 2 years on, my surgeon is insisting on a revision to mini gastric bypass and I am facing more surgery in a few weeks - I've started the pre-op diet already, sat here feeling sick and dizzy and knowing my fridge is full of food for the family. But I'm also thinking I had access to a LOT of that food all my life and it has just made me miserable and put my health in danger. I did have the therapy etc and it was quite helpful, but after the operation all I wanted to see was how much I could eat as soon as was humanly possible, I was dissolving things in my mouth to make them go down relatively safely. So I knew early on that it hadn't really "worked". As you know you can eat, feel a bit uncomfortable, wait an half and hour and then you are good to go again. I know.

Obvs I don't have to have the surgery, but I feel at 60 my time is running out. I was like you all my life - when I was younger I couldnt do stuff with my own kids due to my size and if I don't act now I won't spend much more time with them. I can see others on here have the same or similar experiences. Even the outcome of surgery isn't guaranteed and I have read about a lot of people putting weight back on (particularly with a sleeve).

At the moment I'm trying not to latch on to excuses not to have the revision surgery. I was reading yesterday that this is normal, and that in the run up to admission people often think "yes I can definitely do it on my own", even though evidence is to the contrary (the book I have is "Living with Bariatric Surgery" by Denise Ratcliffe).

I agree with some of the book recommendations - some new ones I might try myself - because any insight its helpful and agree with trying OA, fab that you can go tomorrow to see what its like - I didn't get on with it but its 110% worth a try because it might be key for you and gives you "group" support.

To me this shows how incredibly complex and difficult obesity is. No magic answers OP, but many on this thread are going through similar stuff - we are not alone. Let us know how you get on.

OP please don't beat yourself up. This isn't your fault and it's not that you're weak with food etc. It does sound like you need some therapy to help you overcome a binge eating addiction.

Some people don't quite understand BED as no amount of willpower in the world can stop the compulsion to binge and simply not having the food in the house will mean BED sufferers will just go buy it. Sometimes making sure you're not always hungry by having a a balanced diet with good amounts of protein can be helpful but there isn't one singular way to cope with this addiction unfortunately.

I hope you can access the help you need and have a more positive relationship with food in the future.

Just popped back on as well to say that despite their protestations, BEAT and the other charities, NHS etc don't treat binge eating disorder that seriously as it's not as immediately life threatening as anorexia. I used to work for an eating disorder charity and I know that services are prioritised for anorexia patients and although I can understand why maybe separate charities/services are needed rather than lumping it all in together. When seeking support for someone with BED a GP told me that patient simply wouldn't meet the criteria to be accepted into eating disorder support - they are simply holding their service places for those whose weight falls below a certain point.

It's difficult because my daughter is autistic and has ARFID. So all her safe foods are chocolate bread, crisps, pizza, chips etc. Everything I compulsively eat so I can't not have it in the house.

Plus I have 2 older teens who have their own money and buy stuff all the time.

So it's near impossible.

I think I just have to learn to say no to myself.

Just saying no consistently is not realistic tho, and that's not a judgement on your willpower or otherwise. You need support with this, it's too big, longterm, to go it alone. And even with support and understanding you will have off days.. it's OK and you're human. You seem to have a fabulous self awareness around it all which will help you for sure.

NRTFT but could you get a referral to an NHS Dietitian and from there to a specialist gastro psychologist? I had a Total Gastrectomy and Total Vagotomy for medical reasons (obviously a much bigger surgery but similar) and have both to help me cope with the aftermath.

Those who are saying restriction is not the answer, I get it and I understand why people think that. But for me the addiction was sugar, not just food in general, and saying moderation would be like telling an alcohol to drink in moderation or have the odd cheat day.. it just sets the cycle off again. I am now no sugar or flour but it doesn't feel restrictive as I am feeding myself with plenty of good foods. Most people on the programme are sugar/food addicts over a lifetime and many are off it now years, with support and meetings etc. Best thing I ever did. I'm 4m in.

You need the therapy side of things. Cry, don’t cry AND eat. It’s ok to feel. Easy in theory but takes a lot of work and tenacity in practise.

I'd try Ozempic. I'm on it OP I've lost 15.4kg in 9 weeks. I am very overweight but feeling better now I'm beginning to lose it. If you start with 0.25mg each week. You only have to inject a tiny 1cm long thin as a hair needle once every week. You can stay on the low dose if you have side effects until they settle down. Normally you'd go up to 0.5 after 4 weeks but I know someone who just stays on the 0.25 dose each week and she is losing weight. You just don't feel hungry on it.

I am in the same boat, OP. I tried saxenda last year but it was useless. Currently on week 3 of ozempic and it is a game changer! I wish I'd tried it sooner

Noom is also great, and if you've been on saxenda you can sign up for free for 12 months through the US saxenda website.

What happens when you stop taking Ozempic though? Don’t you just regain the weight because you e got no suppressant any mire

It might be worth the possibility of short term pain because it is possible it can stop addictions, right? And it's definitely a food addiction you have. Don't feel any shame OP, I really feel for you.

I'm just wondering, have you had a blood test to check for pre-diabetes? If you are pre diabetic you can be enrolled onto a free 9 month support programme which includes one to one help and a diet plan etc. I've just enrolled and am waiting for my first session in a few weeks. I'm sure my pre diabetes diagnosis is massively to do with my poor diet, binging on crisps and chocolate. It is hard as no one talks about how difficult it is when you are addicted to food.

That’s a very good point; I’ve heard of these specialists.

Yes. I've had regular blood tests. Not pre diabetic but a borderline underactive thyroid.

It was a really bad reaction. I would throw up on the hour, have really bad pains and cramps for 30 mins then build up again to throwing up.

I was on the floor in the bathroom or in the bedroom with a bucket for 24 hours straight.

I couldn't risk that happening for a week. I have kids that need me and it was honestly awful.

I should also add the programme I do, while no sugar or flour has daily meetings with trained leaders, and more individual stuff that I don't pay for but is an option, and all of those meetings are looking at feelings, the reliance on food etc. Might be worth a go OP. Wishing you the best.

I can't afford the therapy. They're 40 quid a session and want 1 a week minimum.

I just don't have £160 extra a month. My rents gone up 2 weeks ago. I'm struggling already.

I have OA at 12 though. I'm really scared