Just found out my mum's having an affair

[pattymc]

I don't know what to do I feel really gutted and sad. I can't see a happy ending to this as my mum hasn't been happy in her marriage for years but won't leave my dad. I don't really want to go into details but just wondering if anyone else had experience of this later in life, I'm 38. I know a lot worse things can happen in life but it's really knocked me for six. I am cynical enough about people being faithful in marriage but really hoped at least my parents might just be loyal.

Oh, so sorry It must be very upsetting for you. Does your mum know that you know?

no I only found out on saturday and now I don't know what to do. I need to let her know I know. I know she doesn't love my dad anymore but won't leave him.

Gah. Awful situation for you to be in. How did you find out? I mean, are you absolutely certain?

Oh, I'm sorry. My dad has had 2 affairs (that I know of). It's a horrible position to be in.

you are old enough and sound caring enough to talk to your mother and hear her side of it all, why wont she leave, probably only because of the financial situation. May be you can offer help(advice) for her to be able to move on. good luck

thing is if you let your mum know you know - and then it comes out to your dad that you knew your mum was having an affair, he will be really really hurt that you were disloyal to him....