Wedding dilemma..

[andlipsticktoo]

Our entire family was due to go to my dh's brother's wedding on saturday which has now been postponed for 2 weeks. The date of the wedding is now on exactly the same date as a National competition that my son has made it to as part of a robot designing and making club that he belongs to.

His group won the regional finals and is now in the National final, the winner of which will go to USA for the world finals. The problem is we had agreed he could go (before the wedding date changed) and have paid his accommodation fee (only £30), and I feel it is something that he will remember for the whole of his life. He is 13 and loves design technology.

I also feel it is important he is at his Uncle's wedding.

WWYD? I am so at odds with this.

Another vote for robots - your BIL's wedding cannot be ruined by the absence of one guest, even a close family member. This must mean a lot to your DS and it is a PRIOR ENGAGEMENT. Just because he's 13 doesn't make it any less so.

Your son not being at the wedding won't have any real impact.

Him not being at his robot thing will have inpact for him and others. Your BIL can't argue with that.

I think you should let it be his decsion. Who would go with him if he went with the Technology gig?

Sorry, have re-read, and the second bit of my post doesn't make much sense unless you realise I thought BIL was pushing DS to attend Uncle's wedding (not his - BIL's - own).

I still vote for the robot competition. Congrats to him on having this chance!

Robots!!!!!!! Well done that young man. You must be one proud mummy

How fantastic he has done so well for the competition - I would definitely let him go to that - it's a reward for all his hard work and that's a brilliant thing. I understand the difficulties with the family over the wedding, but the bride and groom will truly not notice he isn't there. Is there any way you could do a funny video or card for them - take pics or film of ds in the outfit he would have worn to the wedding, having a slice of cake, dancing to the wedding disco, toasting bride and groom with squash, and get him to say or write something along the lines of how much he wishes he could do both, but he wants to stay and help his teammates do well in the finals?

Robots!

After the wedding your BIL will realise that for all the planning and stressing, it doesn't really matter all that much. The bride and groom will have a fabulous time anyway, because they will be married. And they will realise that even will a small wedding, it is impossible to spend enough time with everyone, and that you shouldn't try to anyway, as otherwise you spend no time with each other.

Fantastic achievement for you DS, BTW.

Wilbur, that's a really good idea - it seems a shame to waste his new shirt, and BIL and SIL would love that. Dh sees himself as a bit of a producer too, so he'd love it!

I emailed the bride last night and told her, and dh is going to phone an d speak to his brother. The Bride was understanding - I think! When you are preparing for your wedding it's easy to get carried away with how important every little detail is, isn't it? But actually on the day, all that matters is that the bride and groom are there! I think they will be more understanding on the day. And I do feel sorry for them having to rearrange the wedding at such short notice because of the snow.

Thanks all for your advice and congrats. I am very proud of him. I just don't want him to grow up thinking his stuff is more important than other peoples', OR that I don't value his stuff! Typical mummy dilemma eh?

Just read this thread - so glad you decided to let him go to the competition. What a clever boy... you'll have to post again to let us know how he gets on