Taoism : Shit happens.
Confucianism : Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism : If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism : Shit is, and is not.
Catholicism : If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism : Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian : This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian : It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist : It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Lutheran : If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism : If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Judaism : Why does this shit always happen to us?
Creationism : God made all shit.
Secular Humanism : Shit evolves.
Unitarianism : Come let us reason together about this shit.
Utopianism : This shit does not stink.
Darwinism : This shit was once food.
Capitalism : That's MY shit.
Communism : It's everybody's shit.
Commercialism : Let's package this shit.
Impressionism : From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Existentialism : Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2 : What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism : This shit is good for me.
Hedonism : There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism : God sent us this shit.
Wiccan : And it harm none, let shit happen.
Jehovah's Witnesses : >Knock< >Knock< Shit happens.
Moonies : Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna : Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism : Let's smoke this shit!
Practical : Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic : Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Satanism : SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism : What shit?
Nihilism : No shit.