Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

i will survive

5 replies

stitch · 28/05/2005 10:28

COME ON GIRLS SING IT OUT LOUD

At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches
Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs
just waiting for a man that long,
That I Grew strong,
And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac
and you've bought me a French fry, I should have known that it
was bullshit, Just a sad pathetic dream, Should have known there
was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches
then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out, Don't you
know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control
not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner
standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's
and to hell with all your Needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin
for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just Make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run
nude

hash, I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for
referees, Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at
me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them
back, The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as
yours, Is to stick it with a tooth pick & Dip it in tomato
sauce.

(Chorus)
I will survive,
I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex
with a handful of latex,
I will survive,
I will survive. . .hey . hey

Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door, You'll be
counting

up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!

OP posts:
MarsLady · 28/05/2005 10:33

PMSL

I had to "sing" the entire thing in my head, lots of children about. Fantastic!

tillykins · 28/05/2005 11:10

Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin Grin

jampots · 28/05/2005 11:15

I usd to work with Gladstone Small's sister - not sure how she'd react to her db's name cropping up in lyrics like these

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Louise1980 · 28/05/2005 12:42

PMSL I once had a bloke tell me he was 4 and I thought he was lying! He wasnt!

fostermum · 29/05/2005 10:45

i love it!!!!!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread