just offer to do the laundry or actually turn up on the doorstep and demand it!!

[mckenzie]

My RLFs have just had baby no 4. Although the DH in question is very hands on and quite capable of working the washing machine (unlike my DH) I do remember how nice it was when my mum did all my laundry for a couple of weeks post birth as it was one less thing to have to think about.

I have verbally offered to take the contents of their laundry basket plus and towels or bed linen and been turned down.

Should I press more in case they are being polite or accept their refusal??

I would accept the refusal. I think there is a great deal of difference between your Mum doing your laundry and friends.

Why not make them a shepherd's pie or something and take that round - it's the thing I would have loved the most if I hadn't had my Mum and MIL around a lot in the early weeks to deal with the cooking.

I'd bring food for the freezer, some trashy magazines, and pitch up with offers of hoovering or mopping - bit less intimate than laundering someone elses maternity knickers.

thanks guys. I have already offered (and had accepted) a shepherd's pie for tomorrow night . So I'll stick with the food offerings now. Thanks for your advice.

oh what a kind and lovely lady you are though to offer.
I would have LOVED even one tiny offer of help, some one to hoover or make us something to eat when i had ds.

Nothing, fek all, not even a cup of coffee from any one.

I would have hated someone else doing my laundry and actually it was one of the things I managed to keep on top of. I'd have liked food, or someone to come around for a coffee with cake and then do the washing up for me.

As much as it is very very kind, I would truly shudder at the thought of someone else doing my washing. Imagine if your dirty knickers or dh's skiddy ones got caught up in the bed linen? Feeks

What a lovely friend you are. Stick with the food though. I had a lovely friend who turned up with lunch, when she came to visit not long after I'd had DD.

I remember my MIL helping by doing some laundry for us when Mum was very ill in hospital. As much as I appreciated it it somehow made me shudder - the thought of someone else sorting my laundry (odd, but true).

thanks for the extra replies. I did the laundry thing about 6 years ago for another friend (her mum was elderly and she had no MIL) and she still talks now about how helpful she found it. I do appreciate though that it wouldn't be for everyone hence my original question.
I've just dropped off presents for their other DCs and my friend has said she appreciates the offer, hopes to be okay with laundry herself but will call on me if she gets stuck. So, I'm off to make my shepherd's pie and a banana cake for tomorrow.
BTW, it's not that I'm such a lovely lady/friend! It's just that they are a lovely family, my RLF is smashing and her DH is absolutely gorgeous!!!