These classified ads were really put in Irish newspapers
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastd. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
FREE PUPPIES. Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. £200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows f * g everything.