Help needed - funny/rude ditty required for party piece.

[Hersetta]

Work Xmas meal next friday and it's a tradtion for all new joiners in the year to stand up and do a party piece which can be a song, poem, ditty, joke or story.

Does anyone know a really good funny ditty that i could recite? Many thanks.

This always makes me snigger

Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village idiot sits
Amusing himself by abusing himself
And catching it in his hat

Flowers did you mean 'the village idiot sat?'

Because that doesn't rhyme, lol.

Duh course I did, thank you

Ideally I like something that has 4/5 verses rather than a 10 second limerick.

Anyone?

What about The Masochism Tango by Tom Lehrer. I actually sang this for my Finals Recital at University. I think it's on YouTube as well, if you need the music.

At primary school at the Christmas show, I recited this. They hadn't asked what Roald Dahl in particular I would be doing. And, yes, the Vicar was there. And, yes, I had a plastic, false hand for good effect. Ma and Da were so proud.

Thanks will look when i get home - both of those site are banned by our internet filter at work!