My day off; just a moan

[ratheralotofnonsense]

One of the frustrating things about parenting is how much organising it takes.

I am out on Saturday with friends. Haven’t done this for months so excited. Pil are kindly coming to look after the children.

But we’re leaving early so I’ll have to have both children up, dressed, teeth cleaned and breakfast eaten before 9. Lunch will need to be ready and all the bedtime stuff like pyjamas and toothbrushes and so on.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll enjoy it but … I am looking forward to them just not needing so much care!

This all sounds extremely doable. Have a fun day.

If PIL are coming to you, I'd manage it like any other morning. If DC are still in bed or not dressed when they arrive, they can give them breakfast and get them washed and dressed.

In fact when mine were small my parents had DC at theirs one day per week. I basically lifted them straight out of bed and took them in their PJs.

Can PIL not take over with children in PJs, dress them when they’re there? They can be having their breakfast when PILs arrive, that’s the beauty of childcare in the home! Have a lovely day with your friends

I fully get where you're coming from, OP! DS stayed at a family members for a full week recently, it was very odd to just... go out! No organising, no tidying, no making sure there's a nice meal in for granny!

I’d just be grateful that someone can have my kids for a day!

This is your PILs babysitting , not some kind of military inspection! Why do you think the children have to be up and dressed and to have had breakfast and their teeth brushed? If they’d normally be still in bed, let them, and I’m sure your PILs can manage seeing they get some toast and put clothes on before going anywhere!

@ratheralotofnonsense Your in-laws can supervise breakfast and/or teeth cleaning! I get you need to leave lunch arranged etc, and make sure they know where pjs are, but they CAN take on some of this, why wouldn’t they?

have they said this level of care isn’t acceptable to them?

I definitely am! Just very conscious there still a lot of work for me.

@WildLeader they will need everything set to go, it’s harder for them as they don’t know where all the things are etc.

Leave everything out that they need, pjs, lunch etc and show them where the kids clothes are in case they need an emergency change etc, but they will manage

are you contactable during the day? If they have any issues they can call you perhaps? I’m sure they will be fine

See by the time I’ve done all that I might as well get them ready myself 😂

PIL are doing me a favour so I do want to make life as easy for them as possible. There is also a birthday party that afternoon so will need to make sure present and card is wrapped and ready to go.

Surely finding plates and the toaster/cereal isn’t mysterious? And unless the children are actually babies in arms, they can put their own clothes on?

Maybe I should have posted in AIBU with ‘AIBU to make life as easy as possible for people who are doing me a favour’ and then everyone could have explained why that’s wrong

Yeah I don’t understand the moan tbh, surely you would be doing these things anyway?

How big is your house that they couldn't make a decent guess at where to find some children's clothes and breakfast? But even if you do need to leave things out, you can do that the night before so don't have the morning rush.

I would, but not all before 9 am on a Saturday.

You could have had most of it done while you've been here. It doesn't all need to be done Saturday morning.

But it’s only Tuesday today??

The only thing I could have done while on here is wrapping the present @Redbags . To be honest, it wasn’t meant as a ‘moan’, more an acknowledgement that parenting is hard and that even when we aren’t doing it, we sort of are. It really doesn’t need to be an argumentative thread and I’m a bit disappointed (but I suppose shouldn’t be surprised!) that some are determined to turn it into one.

So on Saturday morning, before I go (we are leaving at 9) I will have to get the children up and dressed, give them their breakfast, teeth brushed, DDs hair done, lunch made and all the stuff for the day in hand and the party stuff ready

That is totally fine; I am sure PIL could do some of it but I am a bit awkward and like to help people who help me. But it’s going to be a lot of rushing around and work. That’s about it. Then it will start again Sunday …

I assume your husband can also help? It’s not all on you.

Oh bless, sometimes you do just need to let it all off. You're allowed to moan and sometimes you just want one day where nobody needs anything from you. But it sounds like you've got it all planned out. Hope you have fun with the day!

On the basis you have PILs, where is DH in all this?

But again, a lot of that can be done in advance or can wait for PILs, no need for rushing around on Saturday morning.

If that's the way you do it, it's because that's the way you've chosen.