Things you learned about life from MN

[VoltaireMittyDream]

I grew up before the internet and reality TV, so all you could know about people came from fiction, and the world around you.

I never knew any cocklodgers growing up.

All the men (and most of the women) I knew were uptight, tortured workaholics - which wasn’t great either, and the men still demanded a disproportionate amount of emotional and administrative and domestic support from their female partners.

But until I joined MN I had no idea how many men out there take no pride in a work ethic or professional identity, and feel no responsibility to pay their own way. And it is SO common on here - across class and education levels and cultures and nationalities. All these freeloading men! I never knew!

I also had no idea how much variation there was in couples’ approaches to money. Long-married couples with strictly separate finances who insist on being paid half for a pint of milk. Families where all child related costs come out of the mother’s earnings & the father’s money is all his own. Couples where it’s totally normal to talk about money, and couples where it’s completely taboo.

And sex! I’m in awe of the people who have sex every day even when their fastidiousness requires them to cover the bed in special sex towels beforehand and boil wash the sheets immediately afterwards and hose themselves down with disinfectant before and after.

I also had no idea how all-consuming elder care was until my own experience brought me to the Elderly Parents board, and I discovered a whole massive parallel universe of ageing parents whose ‘independence’ comes at vast emotional, professional, and financial expense to their daughters.

What other different realities have people had their eyes opened to on here?

I don't eat brie so I'm never cut off the nose, but who is supposed to have the honour?

Yeah because drawer has an 'er' at the end. Conversely it blows my mind that people don't pronounce the er 😂

I remember being on a school trip in year 6 and the radio was playing on the coach and everyone was singing along. I was gob smacked that they knew the words and couldn't understand how I was the only one who didn't know. My parents had no interest in pop music and I had never even watched Top of the Pops. I literally felt like I was in a parallel universe.

But how are you saying it? Draw-uh?

I've learned that, whilst I am now of an age where I should move into a town just to be near people, I am likely to find the neighbours unbearable.

Currently all I hear is wind, birds and animals. I'm likely to be a widow in the next 18 months and I will have to make some very hard decisions but I don't know how to mitigate the worst that people, en masse, bring.

I might just choose to stay and if I have a fall and no-one finds me for six months, so be it. : )

I was surprised to see all the summer haters. Until I joined mumsnet I didn't know anyone who hated summer.

Weather that is too hot I can understand, but disliking the longer days is bonkers. Utility bills are much lower in summer, and who wants to sit shivering under a blanket in the dark when you can enjoy natural daylight and not need the heating on?

Draw-er! Errr, like you're confused about something! Just saying the er!

Sorry, but that sounds mad to me!

I agree about elder care OP. I’m not there yet but I’m an only child and reading posts here made me more aware about how difficult my later mid life might be

I find these voice clips very handy to get an idea of how things are pronounced in different places.
https://forvo.com/word/drawer/

To be fair I wouldn’t take mns word for a lot of thing, there’s a lot of people who jump to think the worst in people without thinking of both sides of the story

Also agree about elder care and I’ve found the SEN boards very useful on here (mostly). Being a carer is isolating in many ways and there’s a community on MN.

How many people have no friends, have never worked, have significant mental health issues and can’t leave the house but somehow found a partner and had children.

How many people are incapable of laughing at themselves and are very uptight, especially when it comes to farts

How many people can’t wrap their heads around the fact that it’s possible to have a full and varied life without driving

How many women put themselves last and complain about it but won’t make any changes because that would be the height of selfishness

How men behave like the perfect partner until they marry or have their eye on someone new

The ‘script’

How many women say nobody would’ve expected their husbands to cheat or leave the family but they did

I have learned how awful some men can be.
That blended families are often not harmonious.
That some people have 3+ children and a load of pets and wonder why they are tired.🤷‍♀️
That people eat a lot of meals prepared with mince.
Most of all, how difficult life is for parents who have SEN children and sometimes more than 1. I have sympathy for them.

How grabby people are, they are even grabby with someone else is benefiting, it’s Like their go to and they can’t see another option,

I think mumsnet could do much better in terms of moderation and stipulating rules

Also we need not to engage with horrible posters (not saying you’re one OP)

Also how most men are troublesome, misogynistic and abusive - emotionally, financially and / or physically
Even the ‘nice’ guys
Most men are so secretive and utterly self serving and keep much of themselves to themselves

I continue to be surprised at how many people live with spouses or partners who treat them badly and whom they no longer love, like, respect or even fancy, simply because they have no idea how to live on their own.

not the men I know, women post about bad relationships not good ones, it doesn’t mean all men are like that,

I’m so confused by this! I pronounce drawer like draw

Why are you confused?

People speak differently. Not everyone is just like you. Have you never heard anybody speak in a different accent to you?

I’ve learned that absolutely anything, no matter how minor in the great scheme of things, can be overthought to an absolutely ludicrous degree. Also - and I’ve said this a couple of times - “friendship groups” are a hotbed of petty jealousies and outright toxicity, and cause more trouble than they’re worth.

If you don't have a bin, what happens with women's menstrual pads etc?

They are completely different words. A drawer is a thing you draw in and out.