Friend not replied for 24 hours - what do you generally think?

[bobiwien]

Are you annoyed? Worried?

This is just a chat, looking for what conclusion people jump to first.

24 hours is nothing, and completely normal. I recently forgot to reply for 10 days... I was so busy, and meant to do it, but it just slipped my mind. I have apologised, but we have been friends for 50 years, so I think my friend will get over it. Most of us just live our lives without being constantly welded to our phones!

I wouldn’t think anything of it and no I wouldn’t ‘chase’.

I tend to answer messages quite quickly but have friends that don’t, and that’s fine.

She is away though so perhaps she’s completely forgotten.

Or she wishes you'd leave her alone while she's away.

Unless it was urgent, you should just leave her be.

Yeah I guess she could be thinking that. I tend to like my friends though so I can’t relate.

I tend to like my friends though so I can’t relate.

Don't you think this is a little arrogant?

Everyone likes their friends, but that doesn't mean they don't understand they deserve a bit of space, especially while they're away.

It's not all about you all the time.

I think they’re busy. After 3 days, I might send another text: Hey, just checking in with you. Did you get my text of a couple of days ago? Sometimes, people mean to answer but get distracted or forget. I’d give your friend the benefit of the doubt for now.

Massively arrogant! I have loads of people I love but when I am away, I am away.

Good grief! I wouldn’t expect a reply to a routine message for several days. If something is important then I ring someone.

I think what is terrifying, to those of us who were quite happy with the pace and rhythm of letters, emails etc, is that social expectations are changing very quickly. It’s now the norm for millions of people to expect instant responses and constant engagement - no warning, no time and space to process and think and germinate a considered reply to anything. I find it frightening. I’m definitely not built for 21st century communication.

I’m waiting on a text back from 3 months ago. I’m not worried though. That’s just how we roll.

I wouldn’t see there as being anything particularly to worry about if your friend has been away. And there’s plenty of time to firm up your plans for the weekend.

It wasn't that long ago that there were no mobile phones, internet and not everybody had a phone at home. So if you had a question for a friend you popped round to see them if they were local or sent them a letter/postcard, replies might take weeks.

I like my friends too but if I’m away sometimes I want a break from normality!

or I’m with my kids, swimming, having a meal, chilling.

you sound a bit intense. Most of my friends take a while to some quicker but depends what we’re all up to.

if my friends are away I don’t really message unless it’s urgent.

maybe follow up on the day she returns from her holiday?

Oh give over OP.

I assume that, as often happens for me, people get a message at a time when they're not able to give it a full or considered response, and think with all good intentions that they'll get back to me that evening. And then forget. I'm never offended to be prompted (as when there are plans to confirm) , and never worried about prompting someone myself.

Hopefully nothing. Hopefully they just know I'm busy. I can go days without replying to a message. I tend to see it on my watch and if it demands an immediate reply, I reply if I can. If it's just a casual message, I can forget that I've even read it until I open the app on my phone. I also bury my head in the sand if it's something I don't want to deal with! My MIL apologies if she doesn't reply immediately and explains what she was doing. I really don't care. It was a message, not a summons.

Same…we have always been this way and our friendships have lasted over 40 years in some cases. Nobody needs to be constantly plugged in to somebody else’s life. It’s unhealthy.

You sound a little intense OP! Your friend is away!! Leave her alone ffs! 🤦‍♀️

You can like your friends and not communicate daily.

Exactly!

Why are you crap?

I like my friends too, I don't want to hear from them constantly though! I can't imagine the kind of friendship where they'd get annoyed if I hadn't replied to some random chat for a couple of days. I'd find that so claustrophobic!

I would try calling her.