Sons as fathers - so chuffin’ chuffed

[Grandtanny]

Am just going to shout this here to save me boring the bejesus out of everyone. Darling grandson is two months today and my boy has been such a fabulous father and partner. Chuffin’ delighted.

He has been a major arse at sometimes in his life and for a while was a bit muscles and men’s rights then here he is a father to his partner’s first girl and to their baby. and here he is their biggest supporter and the most hands on father and household load carrier. He was already doing so well
with the first role but parenting a cheerful 6 year old is easy compared to a baby. His mates are mainly at uni and he has embraced grown up life instead but for him it seems such a great choice. Two kids at 20 - nearly 21- seems pretty retro but wow it has been a pleasure watching him and his beautiful family over the past few months.

That's nice.

That’s lovely. I didn’t start a family till my mid thirties ( the “right” time to do it based on finances/stability) and I’ve often thought it would have been much easier if I’d been younger. There are many benefits to starting family life early. Good on your son.

What a mean comment

That’s so lovely to hear. My friends son has also completely stepped up to parenthood and working very hard supporting his young family, they have set a wedding date for next year at 22 I wish them both years of health and happiness.

I’m guessing the 6 year old is his partner’s child? It’s great that how he parents his young baby in front of you, his doting mother but I do rather agree with the pp’s question about what his partner thinks. I do admit to reeling a bit - two children at 20?! A lot of responsibility on young shoulders but it’s nice you’re so enthusiastic and supportive (sincerely)

That’s lovely. 🥰 It’s often when they find the right partner, that everything slips into place.

And you’re right to be proud and happy

Only the worst kind of people tear other's pride and happiness down.

OP, I know 2 young men who are father's in their early 20's. One of a friend's son, and the other a friend of my son. I regularly see both of them out and about at weekends with the baby in the pushchair and always stop to chat. They both love fatherhood.

Thanks for the positivity. Great to hear about other young fathers doing brilliantly too. It makes me wonder if I should have started earlier too but then I think I would have ended up with a huge family!

As for what his partner thinks - I mentioned his faults to emphasise his growth - people do change and grow up. I know how much his partner values him. I see her a lot and see them a lot. My pride in him comes from his support for her and the family unit. Today for example he left her in bed and took the baby off with him to the cooking club session his partner’s dd was attending. Took the expressed breast milk and the baby carrier and she got a rest. He cooks and cleans and does night wakings (when he can). She had a poor partner the first time and is enjoying feeling like a proper family.
He is young but he is capable and happy and is parenting and partnering up a storm. His partner is older but they are a good fit.

Glad it's all working out. My DS was a dad at 19. It's been tough but he's also doing a great job
Love to all of you.
X

That's lovely OP, having children young isn't most people's first choice, but it's what happens after that really matters. You are right to be proud of the young man you raised and I hope watching him as a dad and partner brings you lots of joy.

"Father is good father".

Amazing...

Glad it’s working out. Hopefully you will still be able to be as proud a few years down the line and that, for all he is very very young, he will continue to step up

I’m glad you think he’s doing well, OP, but two children at 20 doesn’t seem like ‘grown up life’ to me, it sounds like a big mistake.

Don't be such a bloody misery guts.

I wouldn't assume someone was a great partner. Or a shite one. I'd assume I wouldn't know. Especially not with the rose tinted spectacles of being their mother.

I'd leave their actual partner to make that judgement.

He’s 20, and was recently a ‘muscles and men’s rights’ type? Can’t see where that could go wrong.

It has been two whole months though…

@KaleidoscopeSmile ignore all the misery guts replies. This is a lovely post and thank you for sharing as it's a nice change from some of the more negative ones. You must be so proud!

Teenage boys go through that phase though. The whole Andrew Tate thing for example was very 14 year old boy coded. It's not great there are people like that out there preying on the development stage of boys but there are lines of thinking that are normal in a young teenager but concerning/a sign of arrested development in a middle aged man. It's not so much that mysogyny is "natural" but wanting to be a "hustler" muscle bound guy with flashy money is.

Going through that stage and coming out normal on the other side is healthy. I don't think it means he can't be a good mature father in his twenties and it sounds like a lovely little family.

Well people on MN are fond of quoting the thing about not being an adult until 25 so how do you know whether he has matured?

At his age he hasn’t really had the opportunity to come out the other side of anything.

Its good hes doing so well/At 20 though hes still very young ,he will probably change and mature ,At the moment though seems to be stepping up!

None of that is ‘natural’. That you think it is is concerning.

Congratulations proud grandma