Toddler won’t wear waterproof / raincoat

[Harrieteve]

I know there are a lot of these threads already! Normally I totally subscribe to “bring it with you they will wear it when they’re ready”. My toddler isn’t a tantrumy kid but he’s quite sensitive to “new” things and he’s had a vendetta about waterproof coats for probably a year. He wears those wool fleece things and we managed with that last winter when he was less mobile. He’s now almost 3.

However he does forest school now and goes out for rainy walks a lot with his nursery and the manager called me today and basically said it makes their nursery look bad and the kids can’t be seen without coats not to mention a full day of forest school without a waterproof is a bit of a stretch as it gets wetter / colder. We sent him in with 3 options and the nursery tried three different members of staff and just about coaxed him into a puddlesuit but he said he wanted to do a wee and took it off. We tried some tough love this morning and forced him into one and he screamed and screamed and took it off.

I’m thinking we can try taking him shopping to pick one out but we’ve tried a few types so I’m not holding out much hope. Any good books? Do I story board it out? Any thoughts? I know this seems RIDICULOUS.

I know it isn’t as simple as this but is forest school right for him, given the above?

My friend used one for her DD. It looked great on paper but the reality of spending all day every day outside, especially in the cold and wet, wasn’t really all that appealing. I would expect a good nursery to have regular time outside but equally plenty of time in the warm too!

It’s like a seat belt. He has to wear it. Like a seat belt he can take if off for a wee but then it goes back again.
send him with 1 option. Screaming is ignored. He will get used to it.
He doesn’t understand the need to be warm and dry. Because he’s three. So that’s for the adults to do.
The other option is no Forest school - if that’s possible. It’s not essential.
There are no scratchy labels? It isn’t too tight or constricting?
Sometimes unfortunately they just do have to do as they are told.

I'd continue with the tough love personally. Let him scream, put it back on if he takes it off etc until he gets the message that it is staying on.

This. Mine are rural rural. So plenty outside time, but warm as well. If he won’t wear it, he won’t go outside. So it seems a strange one to contact you about, and suggests bigger issues with the setting.

Thanks all. They do a half day pre three and a full day once three at his nursery in a forest school setting so it’s kind of part of their offering but not his full time nursery place. I think regardless of that we need to sort the cost thing and I don’t want something so stupid to stop him doing things!

I suppose worst case we could look at swapping days maybe to a non forest school day but as above he’s still going to go out in the rain and get soaking.

Yes I think we need to persist and I guess get aligned with them on what their approach should be

Bribery?

They are expensive but Toastie raincoats are incredibly soft and comfy and do not feel like wearing a plastic-y waterproof. I got one in great condition from Vinted recently. Bought it large so my daughter can also wear lots of layers underneath rather than a thick coat.

He's 3 not a tiny baby.

Let him have the autonomy of being cold or not. Some kids just run differently.

My little girl used to strip off her snowsuit from 10months old. Now she's in reception and happily walked home in the torrential rain today holding her coat.

Id give him options but not force them on him. Pack the coat. Have you tried a gilet? As that doesn't restrict movement so much? And you can get some pretty decent waterproof fleeces- polarn o pyret does one. Also maybe try those waterproof tops for rugby- they're not rustley plastic, more wetsuit material on the outside and look like a pullover instead of a coat.

Thank you! This definitely makes sense to me and we’d be happy to do this with us I guess we just need to find a way to see if nursery are ok with this. Those suggestions are great eg the waterproof fleeces thank you!!

Thanks will look into this! We have a couple of fleecy M&S bits he’s rejected so was debating a puffer or similar as a next attempt but obviously don’t want to spend loads of money on stuff that doesn’t get a look in. Hopefully if we keep trying he will come round sooner rather than later

I did try this today in desperation but he was too hysterical to engage. Need to think about what would be compelling enough

You have to be strict on this one, you have to just insist. You can’t have a toddler refusing common sense things! Just like safety devices

What about Puddleproofs on the bottom - the are waders for children with the wellies bonded to the trouser leg? They come up quite high on the chest and back. They’re brilliant! And then a waterproof that looks and feels like a fleece for the top half?

My little one has always refused to wear hats or hoods. Eventually it sank in that if he didn’t wear it, we stayed inside - I don’t mind if it’s just mizzling or bright but cold, but in the Summer or heavy rain, no hat means staying inside.

That sounds like a punishment for the adult as well @Liketwodeflatedballoons , not to mention other children in the house.

I think forcing it is likely to make him more resistant personally. Some posts on MN can be a bit over the top with toddlers. They are little children, not our adversaries. It’s not something worth a fight IMO.

I have 2 kids. The older one was always open to a bit of comparison to peers ('look, daisy is putting her rain coat on, Maisy is putting her rain coat on') or fun game type thing ('can you do it before I put my shoes on' etc) and the other one could detect that bullshit miles away.

I'm not going to pretend I found the magic solution but I must say that if I believed it was imperative she do the thing it was a lot easier to get her to do it. I can see why nursery are worried about their reputation but more to the point, if your DS gets wet and THEN realises why he has to wear a coat he is going to be damp and uncomfortable all day even after putting his coat on and ultimately he'll get ill.

I found that as a practice 1. Making a big deal of doing the thing myself and 2. Trying to make it an inexorable part of the day rather than me commanding it ('time to put on our coats!') 3. Starting a general really boring naggy campaign in the subject (here's a book for example https://amzn.eu/d/088jbJct) eventually did it. YOU have to believe it's non negotiable.

Good luck. Having had both types of kid the "you're the adult" types make me laugh with their gorgeous innocence. Lucky them.

Thanks all. We obviously do have a few genuine non negotiable safety things eg helmets and seatbelts etc. Sitting down whilst eating but this is something I’d prefer him to learn by consequence than us arbitrarily forcing it.

Having said that I just don’t know then how to manage it with nursery. He will get miz when he’s wet and they won’t want to be regularly changing him multiple times a day.

Will defs try the waterproof waders and fleece combo. He will wear a hat so that’s something!

Tried some bribery in Tesco this morning and did get him in one, however remains to be seen how it will go at home!

Not sure I agree with the forcing/getting strict unless you’re sure he is having a tantrum. Is it that he won’t, or he can’t?

My daughter was the same with clothing/coats and was later diagnosed with autism.

How is he with other clothing/textures? Have you taken him shopping so that he can feel different coats and choose something he can tolerate?

Yeah it's a tricky one. Sounds obvious but his raincoat is definitely a character one of his most favourite character right? It's likely just a phase though and will pass...

In our school Nursery, the children don’t get to go out in inclement weather if they refuse to put their coats on. They certainly don’t get to go to their forest school session unless they put the waterproof pants / jackets on. Of course they can have autonomy - that doesn’t mean they get to carry out their choices in all cases.

I have a bigger issue with the nurseries main concern being that it made them ‘look bad’ than a toddler not wearing a waterproof.

Just to say my child struggles with coats and it wasn’t something we could force. He is now suspected of having additional needs and awaiting his paediatrician appointment so please don’t beat yourself up if he won’t wear it. I always brought the coat to the park etc and would offer it again after a short period but ultimately had the opinion we would just get him changed when we got home if needed.

He has just turned 3 and today was the first day I thought it was cold enough for him to wear a coat and he wouldn’t. I was comfortable myself in just a jumper so no big deal, he’s running round the park so that will keep him warmer. He is starting nursery in January and I am worried about it but will keep trying meanwhile and hopefully he may eventually wear one.

He's 2. Tell him it's happening.

How does that work in practice though; one member of staff staying with one child? That would impact on ratios.

Muddy Puddles 'Puddleflex' range are lovely and soft, and totally waterproof. They're not at all like a stiff rustly coat.

My DS also loved his Hatley tractor raincoat which again is soft and flexible (I loved it so much that I still have it packed away and he's 19 now). They also have diggers, dogs, planes etc., if he could be persuaded into one with a design that matches his interests!