DP eats his food too quickly

[rangelina]

DP eats his food like it's about snatched away from him.

He can eat a full plate of food maybe twice as fast as me. I'm not a slow eater. He will always finish his plate before anyone else on the table.

He shovels the food down and doesn't pause between eating.

If we're eating at home then fine it's not a big issue. But I do find it really annoying when we go out for a nice meal and he's scoffing his food down in a really uncouth manner and then will say things like "I win". Then I'm sat eating my food and feeling like I am slow.

Inevitably a nice dinner out lasts less than an hour because he eats so quickly!

I've tried being nice and joking that no one is going to take his food away, there is no rush or he can order another course if he's hungry. He wasn't raised with any siblings and wasn't raised poor, with both parents having good table manners.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Yeah. Wouldnt bother me. I drink out the same drink as my partner too.

Really? When you have dinner at home its over and done with in 15 minutes?

FWIW I’ve lived in Italy for the last 6 years, and a quick week night dinner for us is usually no 30-40 mins. Even at home in England it was about the same

I think folks are over thinking the I win comment, it’s a joke and one I’ve heard many times, it doesn’t mean he thinks he’s in a competition, possibly it’s regional. It’s just a joke about being finished,

on saying that I abhor poor table manners and I see this as poor table manners and demonstrates an inability to control themselves round food, like a Labrador in human form,

however if it was a friend or anyone other than my husband or child I’d not say anything, if it was my husband or child I’d gently say can you slow down if it was verging on poor manners territory, but neither of them do it. My husband can sometimes eat with his mouth open when not in company and I always tell him to close his mouth as it’s friggen disgusting to chew with your mouth open.

we had a couple of friends stay with us on Friday night, the man eats like this, fast, I just ignore it and I’m the one who normally has issues, but my husband, who never ever notices or comments said to me yesterday “Fred” is a really messy eater, he just shovels it down, I was trying not to watch him” so I knew it was bad if even he thought it was comment worthy,

My DH was like this but I asked him to slow down, as sharing a meal is more than just eating.

A single plate meal I will have finished the plate in under 15 minutes yes. It doesn’t take me a minute a bite…

Obviously a full meal with separate courses or additional plates and serving oneself would take longer especially with socialising in between.

But a plate of pasta, or chicken and vegetables would be eaten in under 15 minutes easily. Time yourself next time you eat a single plate of food.

It was lighthearted.
Im a bit funny about germs, I'd never share a fork, wouldn't take food off someone's fork and even the thought of double dipping makes me 🤢
I can't help it, just the way I'm made I suppose.
Hes lovely and I love him but nah!

Or just don’t control how he eats…sit for longer before you order, take a bit more time to have a drink after if you want to extend the experience.

BTW is it really taking him more than a couple of minutes longer for you to eat? I very much doubt it is changing the he length of your meal substantially, if it is then your food must be stone cold while you are eating it

DH is like this. Also lip smacking. Argh! Cut it out please!?!

I eat at an average pace. I find it very strange to see people where food in abundance is common eating like their lives depend on it. Food going out of fashion....

If I'd described how my ex policed the speed at which I ate, criticised how much I'd put on a fork, complained about not pausing for effect, went on about what other people might think, that it should take at least an hour and all the other ridiculous things he said that made me so anxious, I just wanted to get the food down even quicker so I could escape from being trapped at the table with him sooner, I'd have received loads of support and encouragement to leave safely.

And if I got through a meal without being criticised at least five times, I'd certainly have felt like I'd won for a change. I just wouldn't have said it because that would have earned me some serious payback once there were no witnesses. He'd have definitely wanted to humiliate me by posting online for randoms to criticise had this been around at the time, though.

Fuck uncouth. Fuck criticising not just what people eat but how they eat it.

I had a (male) relative who was like this, he always used to blame it on boarding school (I.e. if you hesitate someone will steal your food!). Not sure what the answer is, it's a difficult habit to break ...

Were there many siblings or food insecurity in his life growing up?

Or maybe he's just greedy.

Anyone remember the thread a few months ago, where the op had issues with her husband eating to slow.

This op has issues with eating to fast.

Let people eat how they want op.

I get frustrated when people take forever eating their food, pick at it then leave half. Do they not like the food? Is it disordered eating? Neither of those things?

I don't say anything though, it would be rude to.

This could be DH, except for the ‘I win’ comment. I find it absolutely nauseating.
His whole family start eating as soon as they are served, no waiting for anyone else. Whereas I was always raised to wait until everyone else had been served, especially the chef. In that regard DH has —been trained to the minimum standard— improved.

But the rest of it - honestly there could be sparks flying off the plate, then as soon as he is finished he will jump up and start packing the dishwasher even when I am still eating. Then 20 mins later he will complain that he is still hungry.

It really grinds my gears as table etiquette was a big thing when I was growing up. He also does that American thing of using his fork in his right hand (don’t know why, he’s not American).

Anyhow, he recently started Mounjaro and I think it has helped a little bit. I wonder does he just naturally have out of control hunger signals which forces all manners and etiquette out the window.

I can talk and eat at the same time (not with my mouth full).

im just not one of these people who puts their fork and knife down and then starts chatting for 15 minutes between bites.

Most people don't, that would be weird.

No, just him and his family have no manners.

Ds15 is like this. I am.trying to challenge and stop it but getting nowhere. Also, ds has adhd and food is 100% a dopamine hit for him. But i am still trying to make him slow down. It will affect how people.view him in the future.

My husband is a fast eater. We joke about it sometimes but most of the time I don’t say anything and just eat at my own speed. I’m sure I do things that annoy him too.

Also, at heart I think it’s up to him how fast he eats. I don’t want to badger him about something that is his business and doesn’t do me any harm.

Yes, the eating part of dinner is max 15 mins - not even hurrying.

If we go out to eat (me and 2 kids), and assuming we don't include time waiting for the food to come, I'd say that 15 minutes would be tight, but not rushed (depending on what it is that we're eating - korean BBQ no, Nandos yes) - and that does include conversation, but only one course.