What has been the hardest time in your life?

[BeRightBack86]

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through and how did you cope?
Currently going through the absolute hardest year of my life with a health issue that has changed my whole life and struggling to cope and stay positive.
Just looking for stories and advice to help me feel less alone.

This is my hardest time.

Dd disclosed serial exploitation earlier this year,she has serious mental health issues with self harm and eating disorders. DP on spectrum with even more challenges presenting in our relationships and recently he was diagnosed with bladder cancer. My own health has nosedive. My work is hanging in the balance through no fault of my own. My mother is showing onset of dementia and I'm financially supporting her. My 2 fav aunts have dementia and I'm advocating and sorting their care from a distance and supporting their relatives.

II'm done in and can't take much more

There have been many, but by far the worst was the loss of my son. My health broke down completely, my surviving DC both had breakdowns and it has taken us all a long time to get through to a point where we can cope with living a completely different life. My DH is very strong and has been a rock. Thank goodness.

My daughter had three surgeries in her first year and it was awful. Every time we saw a doctor I panicked about what they were going to find wrong with her next. Then just after her third surgery just before she was one my baby niece died. My daughter has disabilities but is doing well. Miss my niece every day and wonder what she would be like now.

Thank you

Oh God, @SingingShrews , I'm so so sorry you had that sort of unloved childhood. Being unloved goes so very deep - I hope that you have had people who loved you all the way through to your bones as an adult. It can't make up for your childhood, but it would be something valuable.

This is horrific.

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am sorry for the loss of your little girl.
I had a late miscarriage and there were complications with the birth.
Sending you love.

Being with my brother when he died from cancer after a 5 year long battle. Lockdown kept us apart for half of that time. Life going on without him somehow.
Sorry to everyone who has been through hard times. X

Wow, I'm so sorry to hear of people's suffering 💐.

Mine is small change in comparison - 2021. Constant lockdowns in the North and trying to home school young children while trying to work full time. Work was full on due to COVID restrictions impacting the caseload. Work was largely formal meetings with serious implications for those involved. So, with kids.......

My colleague went off on long term sick leave and my managers did nothing but send me flowers. I binned them immediately. In the end I became so burnt out. It was the first and so far, only time in my working life I've taken time off work due to stress. I felt so utterly alone.

very serious illness recovery. Took over 2 years to feel like myself again. Absolutely nothing in comparison to the bereavements some pp are living with 💐

I wrote this and I was at a loss that evening. Today I feel a little stronger.

Mums back in hospital after another fall, and I feel...: indifferent? I had a terrible childhood. My parents cared more about drinking than they did me. The house being smashed up was a weekly occurrence. Being dragged around the streets in the early hours of the morning was the norm. When I was 7 I lost my one grandad on the Tuesday and the other grandad the following Monday. My parents were wrapped up in their own grief and drinking they forgot they had a child. I remember going to school one Tuesday when I was about 14 and thinking 'I've not eaten since Thursday'. I lived with my parents, then my grandmother,!then my parents split and I went back to my mum, then back to my nan, then back to my mum. The violence continued with my mums boyfriend so I moved in with my dad when his mum (my other nan) died as I was convinced I could stop him drinking. Pmsl. Yeah right! I then found out I was pregnant at 18 whilst in 6th form. So I moved out when I found I was pregnant at 18 (still carried on in school then went to uni as planned).

wow that was cathartic. Got diagnosed with both bipolar in 2015 so trying to deal with everything whilst battling this is hard. BUT I have an amazing partner and 2 children (21 and 26) who are my favourite people in the whole world. They and my fabulous work colleagues (manager in particular) Get me through the rough days.

My husband dying suddenly and unexpectedly at home 3 years ago and it being our daughter who has Sen who found him

watching my then 22yr old son buy a house, made redundant and then went totally blind in his eye within the space of a couple of weeks. Was heart breaking to see him struggle and know I couldn't do a darn thing about it.

Cancer when my children were only 5.

I am very sorry for your loss. Always Loved. Never Forgotten. Thank you for the book recommendation Solve For Happy
By Mo Gawdat, I’m now on chapter 5 and hooked.

Lost my dear brother this year. He had PSP Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. Initially diagnosed with Parkinsons, but his rapid deterioration changed the condition. PSP is a cruel disease and a hard watch, there is no treatment, very rare.
He was my main helper . I have severe rheumatoid arthritis 41 years.
The social care is appalling. I had 100 plus calls from them in all forms over a 3 month period to get his home suitable when it was thought Parkinsons.
Both parents had dementia. Dad 1 year, mum 8.5 years. My brother and I cared between us. Plus two aunts we helped a lot.
I can't come to terms with his suffering. And I've lost my best companion.
I am sorry for everyone's suffering.

Oh wow that’s great to hear! Thanks for telling me!

Earlier this year - developed a recto-vaginal fistula. It’s been awful. Humiliating, frightening and horrible. There’s nothing that can be done to fix it so I’m dealing with fecal incontinence daily. Just hope it doesn’t get worse. I was suicidal for a while but I’ve found helpful support groups.

The suicide of ds. A shock to everyone who knew him. I get up every day and get to the end of every day somehow. 2nd anniversary coming up shortly.

Im so sorry to hear of everyone's difficult times 😔. I've had a shit show of 5 years, nursing my mum until she died of cancer and then caring for my dad for 4.5 years until he also died. They were amazing parents. Then in April this year my 17 year marriage ended dramatically overnight all whilst in the middle of doing a full time degree. I've no idea how I'll come out of this financially and what I wouldn't give to be able to have a cup of tea with my parents.

A few years ago. I was getting bullied by my manager. My workload was out of control. No one wanted to work with me. I had two miscarriages. Nightmares nearly every night. No joy in anything. All I wanted was a baby.

The last few years have been a shitshow for me

2020 separation in the middle of covid
2021 3 months later, my dad died on my exh’s birthday
2021-2023 my friend moved in with me on what was supposed to be a temporary basis and she destroyed the last semblance of self esteem I had
2023 divorce finalised which was a Good Thing at this point but my exh totally fucked me over financially
2024 one of my best friends got ill & died of lung cancer and my mum had a cancer scare that lasted about 8 months

All of the above whilst dealing with parenting 2 children mostly by myself. 2025 onwards has been better so I am hoping we are now on an upwards trajectory 😭

My mum, unexpectedly, dying when I was 32.
My daughter being diagnosed with leukaemia at 2½.
The last three years. This year alone I've had emergency surgery and my husband has been off sick for three months

Alcohol addiction between the ages of 24-30. I hit absolute rock bottom. I met my now DH when I was 29 and he honestly saved my life. He gave me something to live for and supported me through my recovery.
Now happily married with a great job, lovely house and two beautiful DSs. Looking back I believe it was undiagnosed ADHD which caused it. I was diagnosed 6 years ago. Back then I just knew I didn’t fit in anywhere and didn’t know why so I was severely depressed, self medicating and almost killed myself. It’s something very few people know about me.

Life has been pretty shit since my mid 30s. 15 years later it is still ongoing. Like many others I have a long, long list: Abuse, divorce, work issues, friends dying, lone parenting, tricky kids (none of them neuroypical), elderly parents, dementia, etc etc. I feel like it just gets worse and worse and is never going to stop. I've just got used to it now and am quite emotionally numb.

Loss of a child, at any age, is the worst. I am genuinely sorry to all those who have experienced this. It is my biggest fear.

There have been a lot.

Parents divorce and the almost total loss of my brother.
Death of my grandmother.
Being married to a violent alcoholic.
Nervous breakdown.
Cancer.
Death of my mother.
2 other deeply damaging relationships.
Loss of a beloved pet.
A couple of awful jobs which involved my being bullied.

Didn't realise there was so much. No wonder I love my quiet and peaceful life now.