What has been the hardest time in your life?

[BeRightBack86]

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through and how did you cope?
Currently going through the absolute hardest year of my life with a health issue that has changed my whole life and struggling to cope and stay positive.
Just looking for stories and advice to help me feel less alone.

My teenage years. CSA from my stepfather, my mum initially staying with him even after he confessed once I finally disclosed, feeling abandoned by both parents, eventually ending up homeless after living with grandparents due to my anger issues and depression, undiagnosed AUDHD that exacerbated everything, having no boundaries and no self-worth, seriously self-harming, spiralling into addictions, getting into risky situations and being abused and raped again more than once, being coerced into prostitution by my abusive boyfriend at 16, and not getting out of that self-destructive, addictive cycle until I met my DH at 19.

I don't think I really 'got through it' so much as just accidentally survived, so I've no advice on how to manage (these days when I have hard times, I just keep on slogging and trust that eventually things will get better). I feel like my experiences pale in comparison to what so many people on this thread have survived, though

Between 1st May 1996 when I was 19 and the 1st May 2001 when I was 24 my husband and I lost
Both my parents, my 3 grandparents, his 3 grandparents, my great Aunt, his great Aunt and Uncle and his stepdad who was 38. 12 deaths in 4 years, it was a very strange time I also got married 4th May 1996 and had 4 children between July 1996 and October 2000. It was a massive mixture of grief, happiness being scared and enjoying our babies.

Finding my lovely brother dead last year.

I knew what I would be walking in to, I had a weird 6th sense, but the shock and devastation will never leave me - we were very close.

Im so sorry to read everyone else’s experiences - all so tragic and sad

Beloved parent who lived at the other side of the country had a terrible stroke and was left with brain damage and some very traumatic scenes in hospital in the early days (eg forcing feeding tube in) Other parent wasn’t coping and I spent a couple of years travelling back and forth to help, relationship and career broke down as a result.
I didn’t cope really but got through it in the sense that time passed and it got easier in the end as I got used to the new normal.

Now I think. DH has dementia which leads to mood swings, hallucinations, paranoia and often does not sleep. His health is declining and at some stage he will pass on. I feel very tired and that I am no longer really living, just surviving. Meanwhile our eldest son took the opportunity to try and defraud us by getting DH to sign a POA and also made a false complaint to Social Services. You really do not know what life will do to you so make the best of the good times.

Mine is infertility. Five years and eight cycles of treatment - but I do have DC now so a happy ending.
This thread has reminded me that it’s so important to be kind as we never know what someone is going through. I am a lucky and contented person in general and feel I have support to offer when I retire soon so hope I can help some people in some way through voluntary work. There are some astonishingly strong people on this thread.

There is enough strength in this thread to power the national grid and light the world. Amazing women - not sure how some of you have survived such experiences. Very humbling. Truly hope the future is kinder to you all.

The death of my best friend’s 6 yr old a few years ago. Only could have been worse if it had been my own DD. Those 9 months after she was diagnosed with cancer, grabbing all those precious last moments as we knew we were losing her and then watching her fade away - nothing bad in my life has come close to that. It changed my entire outlook on life.

The police telling me DH had unexpectedly died, having to tell my young children daddy wasn’t coming home, then finding out about his various other relationships and huge amounts of debt. Dealing with that whilst parenting neurodivergent children, one child stopped being able to attend school, battling for support for them, death or serious illness of other close relatives.
I survive because I don’t have a choice, my children need me to be here whether I want to or not.

The last 21 months since my DH died. It is so hard to keep going.

Partner died in our 20s, best friend not long after, father died when I was 11… really all my worst times have been grief. When I had a kid I was so scared that they or I would die. Got depressed. Everything else you can come through, even a rotten cheating partner for 10 years, but death is final.

Lost triplets at 23 weeks, had to give birth and had sepsis at the time. Then my grandad died a few months later, then i had to care for a family member with terminal cancer by myself all in the same year then I had a mental breakdown all while looking after disabled dc. Was the hardest time of my life, never been 100 percent since it happened.

We are warriors
Keep going 💪🏼

Awful isn't it. Keep going. Took me 5 years but I'm out the other end now.

My mum was killed in a car accident at 69. Her partner was driving and at fault. He also killed a younger woman, badly injured others and himself ended up in ICU. Had already lost my dad at 54.
Working as a nurse and with young children I had to liaise with coroners, arrange a funeral, wind down her estate and sell the family home of 50 years.
Ten years ago now.
Partner went to crown court, got a fine and a suspended sentence. He moved away to be with his family when he recovered many months later. Never seen him since. I know he’s alive as he still gets my mums pension!

Sudden deaths of people who are fairly healthy is very hard. As I said both my parents died in a car accident, not their fault. The person caused it walked away with minor injuries. I never got to say goodbye. One day they were there living a normal life, the next day one was dead the other unconscious and died a few weeks later. I had to clear their council house in the two weeks after they died.
Just starting to get over the shock and actually grieve when I got a phone call six months later that my close friend who was in her fifties had dropped dead from an aneurysm. We had been out walking together the weekend before.
Since then I don't trust that anyone I care about will be alive next year.
I was made redundant six months later, but that barely registered in comparison. It didn't surprise me as I wasn't doing my job well. Had to take an entry level ob to get by.

I've read these and cried

Women are amazing and so strong

I'm going to add mine but they are in no way as bad

Growing up with an abusive and narcissistic mother with an enabling father was dreadful but my darling grandad took me in and brought me up (he didn't have to go back to bringing up a child on his own)

He died when I was 14 of bastard dementia and back to my parents i went-back to the abuse (they made me the scapegoat)

I tried to kill myself aged 16

Single parent with an abusive boyfriend

Got out,brought my dc up

Ended up losing a very dear friend to bastard cancer-my mother thought it was hilarious

Ended up nc with my parents and was raped by a 'friend'

My mother found out and thought it was hilarious (she told a friend of hers that I hadn't realised I'd been raped until the cheque bounced)

Had a nervous breakdown

Met dp and lost my darling fil to bastard cancer

Had to deal with a spiteful sd (dps dd) and almost lost everything to her lies

Am finally happy but that feeling of 'life can tip at anytime' will never leave me

In the second year of my degree. Partner unreliable and out drinking. 8 year old to look after. Mum diagnosed with cancer. Pregnant. I look back and think how did I survive x

During the first COVID lockdown, I found out that my mum had been intentionally facilitating contact between a convicted paedophile and my children. She knew he had sexually abused other children and didn’t care. She said she didn’t think he’d abuse mine. 😳 I was abused as a child and it sent my whole world crashing down. I was stuck at home working FT, homeschooling a 7 year old, keeping a 2 year old alive all day while I worked, and then my one source of support besides dh basically just dropped a bomb on my whole life.

My mum and I are NC. She didn’t take kindly to me stopping this man from having access to my kids. She chose him and literally disappeared. Never seen her again. I don’t even know where she lives as they move around a lot. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I now have incurable cancer and it’s been nowhere near as devastating as that. My kids are fine, btw. There is no evidence they were harmed thankfully, but it’s simply the fact of the one person besides Dh and I who should have put their wellbeing ahead of everything else simply doesn’t care about any of us. I’m okay now, but it took a lot of therapy to put myself back together.

I was about to answer but stopped short when I read your post. I am thinking of you.

Losing my mum very young then later in life, losing my dad, FIL and MIL in a 5-year period. Not all died the pain-free, peaceful death I would have wished for them and I struggle with that years later.

I'm in the middle or maybe towards the end of my worst time.

2025 was the year but the impact is ongoing.

Dad died quite suddenly
My close friend ended her life
I was diagnosed with breast cancer
Separation from DH but still living in same house at present.
My DD's other grandfather is now on end of life care from a late bowel cancer diagnosis, he missed his appointment due to being sectioned after trying to end his life.

Having stage 3 cancer at the same time as my husband has a stroke and needed care and I found my best friend dead all within weeks totally overwhelming and remains to be

DS being born critically ill, he came out blue and was ventilated immediately. we had no prior warning, I was 35 weeks with a "big" baby so lots of check ups. All so unexpected. Needed resus at least once whilst we waited for an op. Got told repeatedly he might die. Even post op when we got his genetic results told he might not live past 1. then when he got a bowel blockage at 10 months they struggled to fix i was convinced they'd just give up cos of hospital genetics.

he's 11 now, mainstream high school and whilst he has stuff going on medically, he is so far from what the medics all told us to expect. He's out miracle but my God those early years broke me. I have up work and I don't think I've ever really recovered. I know people will say I have no right to feel traumatised cos he's alive but I'm not who i was 12 years ago, and not in a "stronger warrior Mom" way.

Navigating in my mind the end of my marriage and trying to work out my exit plan. Its never as easy as just walk away.