What has been the hardest time in your life?

[BeRightBack86]

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever been through and how did you cope?
Currently going through the absolute hardest year of my life with a health issue that has changed my whole life and struggling to cope and stay positive.
Just looking for stories and advice to help me feel less alone.

Three bereavements in the last few weeks, two of which were sudden and unexpected.😟

Sadly you can’t make someone stop drinking unless they want to

I’m divorced now from my alcoholic dh (2nd dh , first one died) but he sounds the same as yours and is killing his self with drinking

The death of my mother, then my daughter and then my cheating hysband leaving all within 6 weeks.

Not sure how I got through it apart from having to cope with my grieving 10 year old and Father so just did. I dont think I really processed it all till I married my present DH ten years later and finally felt safe. I dont know what I would have done without him as it all came out in a health issue that he dealt with so completley.

Half way through my first year as a medical student, my amazing wonderful kind sweet brother killed himself. I was away from home, my Mum was falling apart, the Med School didn’t cut me any slack at all, I had exams to take, and all around me were partying students. My boyfriend was out of his depth so he dumped me. No one knew what to say to me. We were all just kids. It was a very dark time, and I really had to force myself to keep going.

My son was diagnosed with Pataus when I was 31 weeks pregnant, I delivered him a week and a half later and he died at birth.
It was the darkest and most difficult period of my life and I was very mentally unwell in the months after. My husband somehow never gave up on me, amazing man that he is.

Having a baby/toddler who has seizures, not knowing when the next one will happen or how long it will last, whether we will go to hospital and whether they can stop the seizure, then it’s the next city for picu and whether this seizure will be the last. Longest was 90 minutes some are 3 minutes 110 this year

Probably my childhood. I had a very emotionally abusive mother and was a sad, lonely child, I used to cry myself to sleep most nights wondering what was so wrong with me that my own mum couldn't even love me. I hated myself so intensely.

I've had some very difficult times as an adult but I don't think anything has come close to the absolute despair and loneliness I felt throughout my childhood.

Both parents killed in a car accident and then six months later my close friend died very suddenly.

My DD died completely unexpectedly.

Nothing else has come close though I had a tough time when I damaged my back assisting DH when he fainted and was knocked unconscious, ended up in agony and in physio therapy for almost 5 months. Couldn’t walk more than a few steps for a couple of months.

So many of these stories are so sad. Mine seems small in comparison.

The hardest thing for me though was breaking up with my ex fiance. I was absolutely besotted with him and I thought I might actually die from the heartbreak. I cried every day for several years. It's the worst grief and depression I've ever felt. Made harder by the vicious things his mother said (and he agreed with), which destroyed my confidence. The way we broke up was traumatic and brutal - he actually had a nervous breakdown himself and didn't work afterwards for quite some time.

I sought help, but the counsellor made me feel like a silly schoolgirl getting over her first crush.

It was a decade before I was able to consider dating again and a hard path to rebuilding my life. Every dream for the future had had my ex in it.

20 years later I'm very happy with a DH, DC and better life without him.

I name changed for this but I’m a regular poster. The death of my brother, a drunk driver hit his car and he was found in a field days later.

I found out my DH at the time was having an affair with my sister, he’s now married to her but that situation took me to a very dark place. I went NC with my mum and dad over it all and I basically lost my full family overnight.

Sorry to everyone struggling 💐

My dad died this year, my mum a few months later. But that pain is nothing compared to watching my dd going through chemo and being in agony for months because the NHS urgent referral she needs is a 5 month wait. Never have I felt so helpless and sad in my whole life and I have been through so many other things also mentioned on this thread. I have always been so strong because I have God and my religion but I am struggling now. I would never show this at home though- as mum, you are forced to put a brave face on to keep them fighting and to not infect the other children with the dark despair you feel each day.

My war veteran son in tears confessing to drug addiction. Its a lonely path to walk, very rocky at times but hes been clean for a few months now. I pray every that he stays that way x

When my 3 year old was diagnosed with cancer. She had three years of chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy, surgeries, etc etc etc. And a few weeks after she finished treatment, she caught meningitis.

I coped and got through it because I had to cope and get through it. She needed me to, her baby sister needed me to, DH and my parents needed me. I survived on denial, adrenaline, about 4 hours sleep a night, and far too many meals of beans on toast microwaved in the ward kitchen. Not a healthy way to deal with things, but I didn’t know any other way. The hardest time was the weeks, months, and years after, when everything should be “back to normal”, but normal didn’t exist anymore. It took us all a very long time to work out what our new normal was, and I spent most of it feeling like an utter failure.

DD1 is now in her 3rd year at uni, DD2 just started her 1st year, and I’m ridiculously proud of them both.

Go easy on yourself, op. Let other people support you, Take your time to adjust and don’t force yourself to be happy, fine, whatever, just to please other people. But also, find things that will distract you and stop your mind from going round in circles. I hope things improve for you soon.

Hardest was my friend dying one year and then my dad dying the next. I was gravely depressed and could not stop thinking about the pointlessness of existence. I don't think deaths will hit me that hard again - it was really my first time experiencing terminal illness and people being upset about their own fate + their morphine hallucinations etc. Very disturbing.

A close second was giving birth to my daughter, hemorrhaging and then being completely out of it for the following days. No windows on the ward so had no sense of time passing. I still am not sure if I looked after my daughter properly or not. Don't remember midwives doing it for me. It all feels like a nightmare.

I think my most ambiently bad time was in my 20s when I drank too much and was depressed and self-obsessed and just always felt bad about myself. I think I was malnourished!!

Worst thing ever was my mum suddenly dying in another country when I was in my early 20s. She was a genuinely beautiful human, inside and out and is missed by so many almost 30 years later. I know my life and my kids life would have been just better in every way if she’d been part of it.

So many painful and heart breaking stories shared, so sorry for your losses.
May every one of us enjoy happier and healthier times ahead, much love to all ❤️

Seeing everyone's struggles is a reminder to be kinder to each other isn't it? Just don't need to add to the shit that someone's going through.
Go easy all. x

Now
its shit beyond measure for 3 years

Having to tell DW her sister had died suddenly.i got the call from bil.
When her son died she also lost her little boy before we me met.she used to say at least I've still got xxxxxx.

Having a baby a month after my Mum died, and my partner leaving for someone else 6 weeks later.

This made me sad because I can relate. Similar story but alcoholic dad, no emotional support at all. Feeling scared and crying on my own most days. Similar age. Can my 10 year old give your 10 year old a hug? We got through it “.

The sudden death of my husband. Came home from a parent teacher conference (my kids were 4 and 6) and found him dead from a heart attack. I was a SAHM and they froze his accounts and I had to borrow money to pay for his funeral. He had substantial life insurance which got us through first few months but I still had to sell our home.
Telling my children was awful. Our whole lives completely changed in an instant. We got through it though and my son is 23, lives on his own and working and my DD, 21, is in her last year at Durham. Plenty of ups and downs but we are thriving.

Infertility. Unexplained. 5 years of tests, treatments, hormones and surgeries. no body understood what I was grieving because I hadn’t actually lost anything. It was long and relentless And I am a different person because of it.

I think for me it’s losing my best friend 2 days before I hit 21 , then losing my grandma a year later . Then at 25 getting diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that can’t be cured and will eventually kill me but not before it took my hair and left me infertile. A dream life that I wish would go away.

2020

Mum did 1st week of 1st lockdown
I was made redundant
DP had a massive seizure which landed him in hospital for 4 days and I couldn't visit him
Dad diagnosed with cancer mid-September
Dad died 6 weeks later
On the 2nd week in my new job, I walked into a clients house to find him dead from an overdose of prescription meds.

How I got to 2021 with my sanity intact is anybody's guess.