I know I can't complain really but it's so annoying.... school asked for fancy dress for the children and nobody really bothered except us.

[YourVagesty]

So my son's school had a Wales themed day the other day (we live in Wales) and the school asked that children dress up in related fancy dress (dragons, Welsh ladies, daffodils etc).

I dressed my five year old son up as a dragon and was HORRIFIED when I put him on the bus because most other kids were just in Wales sports tops. Total zero effort from the other parents.

I know I don't have the right to moan because I know not everybody can afford to buy a costume, or they don't have the time to make one. But I'm really pissed off at the lack of effort. I feel bad that I followed the instructions and basically made my son the odd one out for the day.

I'm not sure what my point is, I'm just being annoyed out loud I suppose. My son has only just started at that school and I wanted things to go smoothly and that has really upset me.

Arghhhhhh!

You know how much effort to make next time. Fancy dress days are a pain in the arse.

Was your son ok with it? My eldest didn’t really do fancy dress much in primary as she didn’t like it so all ‘costumes’ were related normal clothes. My youngest will go out for any fancy dress or theme day and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

you’ll get to know parents over time and you can message to see what they’re doing so you can do similar if he’s self conscious.

Aren't they just (pain in the arse)? Part of me thinks I should complain to the school and ask them to keep these days to the minimum given the lack of participation.

It's a social minefield for the kids.

Truthfully as both a parent and a teacher I really dislike dress up days. Not everyone has the time or money to magic up a costume (often on short notice) and many children don't actually like dressing up.

If you live in Wales then the majority probably already has the Welsh sports tops and they fit the theme. Don't be annoyed at the parents who cobbled something together and keep in mind that you don't have to always go all out. This is just the first of many such days that you have to come.

My DC wears what they want for fancy dress days. Sometimes it’s a full on costume and other days it’s equivalent of a sports top. Maybe their DCs wanted to wear them?

This.

Well done for putting so much effort into
making a dragon costume OP, but this is one of the things that makes me so glad my DC are long past the school stage. If schools want pupils to wear something themed they can make them in class.

I think a little more guidance from the school would have been helpful for you. It's also something that the class whatsapp groups are good for or a quick chat with other parents at drop-off or pick-up.

I think for you and your child, this was your first fancy dress day. For a lot of the other parents, it could be fancy dress day number 20. At least.

My kids are a little older. I approached the first couple of days with great enthusiasm. But there's only so much time in the week so crafting a beautiful costume just doesn't make it to the top of the to do list.

This has reminded me of the time I sent my daughter to school with her face painted. She came home to tell me that we'd gotten the day wrong and it was the following week. She styled it out! Teacher made a fuss of how great she looked. I'm sure he was a fantastic dragon even if his classmates weren't as dressed up.

My son went as Spider-Man for dress up day, except there was no dress up day, he made it up. He was 5 and it was pre WhatsApp groups, lovely teacher just laughed thankfully.

Our school mandated no sport tops for any form of dress-up or charity days. That resulted in many children just coming in plain coloured tops. Easy to get on Amazon and suitable for many siblings as well. By Y5 the school stopped apart from Bookday and maybe one day related to a topic.

I still remember the Stone Age one, if DD hadn't had a friend who had a cave man outfit from her dance school we would have been utterly lost.

It's a pain, expensive even if you can do a lot yourself and people are taking food shops and bills as priority. Especially this early in the term with most still being annoyed by the costs of uniform and other school items.

Was he upset by it? Mine are grown up now but both loved dressing up and wouldn't have cared if others hadn't bothered much. I enjoyed creating the costumes they wanted (I felt buying was a cop out, though when they were older I sometimes did). One of them won a prize for best costume once and was really happy about it.

You don't have to feel embarrassed that most didn't make much effort- as a teacher myself, I lnow that's quite usual but the kids that have a great costume usually enjoy the attention they get. OTOH, you don't have to go all out if you don't want to!

I prefer to feed and clothe my kids rather than put that money towards an outfit they will wear once and grow out of by the next day. I couldn't give a shit if one OTT parent looks down their nose at me due to my 'lack of effort'.

I used the hate these days. Not because of the dressing up, because of the complete lack of effort from some parents. World Book Day in particular. So many girls would go in a princess dress from their dressing up box and so many boys in football kit. Lazy parents that couldn’t be bothered to join in the fun and creativity.

And it’s not about having the money to buy a costume. We always adapted something from home, or made a costume.

My children always want to go all out on costume days and I hate it (as I have to buy/make the bloody things). If your child is anything like mine then he will be basking in the glory of having the best costume and other kids will now be pestering their parents to make more of an effort.

Not everyone has time to adapt and not every child likes dressing up.

I remember Easter bonnet making and it was obvious that all the parents did the bonnets (I wasn't allowed near my children's as they were so excited). Next to other parents creations, I would have looked like I didn't make an effort but my kids spent hours making their bonnets and were proud as punch.

Dressing Up Days are one reason, why the day DC left school, was one of the best days of my life!

Thats such a shame. There's a photo of me as a 5 year old dressed up as a Welsh lady for something.

But you live and learn. Dressing up days at school nowadays invariably involve the majority of the boys (and quite a few of the girls) wearing a football kit 🤷🏻‍♀️

The other children will have been a bit envious though and the other 5 year olds will have thought he was the coolest 😉

I’ve forgotten before and sent DD1 in not in fancy dress and she hasn’t been bothered. There always seems to be a mix, some will inevitably forget (me), some will go all guns blazing. DD1 has never really been that into dressing up but some of her classmates are, and there never seems to be any issues with the range of costumes or lack of!

So other parents need to ‘make an effort’ for the - what feels like - monthly dress up days because YOU like them/want to?

1. Ive got other things to do with my time. You can call it zero effort if you want, I’d call it having better things to do like activities with my children, cleaning my house, working, swimming lessons, music lessons, sleeping, being with family and the thousand other weekend/evening activities to fit in
2. Some kids hate dress up
3. Where are we getting all these costumes from?! It’s not about money (although for those of us with multiple kids it’s ridiculous) it’s such a gross waste for the sake of 1 day.

Youre embarrassed because you think you made yourself/your child look a bit silly. Don’t worry about it, he won’t have cared. There’s always some kids that go overboard and some that don’t want to engage. And stop criticising other parents because of your own feelings.

Christ, don’t do that. What are you going to say - please do less dressing up days because the lack of effort from other parents upset you? Pick your battles would be my advice, there will be plenty more important hills to die on.

Some kids enjoy going all out, some don’t, some parents don’t have the time or money, some do. What other parents do or don’t do is none of your business! Just focus on your own kid, if they enjoyed the process and the actual dressing up then crack on regardless. If they didn’t then don’t bother quite so much.

Do you have a class WhatsApp group? We usually put stuff in there to gauge participation levels and fixed up the kids accordingly

I don't think it's fair to be annoyed at the parents really. I think fancy dress is a load of bollocks and will do the minimum required. DD is now old enough where she can lead on what she wants to wear anyway. But I do put the effort in to the actual important stuff school is for, reading, maths etc

My DS always hated dressing up and still chooses to wear his school uniform on any sort of dress up day.

How to say this is your only or eldest DC without actually saying it.

Hate these days. Our book day let them dress as a non fiction book so I put him in a cute TShirt that said "I'm just a boy who loves tornados" and sent him with his tornado book. And I ordered it a size or two bigger so he's going in that again this year! I reckon I've got another year where I can tell him what to wear and I'm taking it.