I really don’t know what to do ☹️

[richteabiscuitsarenice]

So my eldest DS (26) still lives at home, working to save up enough for a house deposit, at uni, goes to the gym regularly, the usual stuff, he has never shown any signs of MH issues, i have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder & EUPD, on medication and it is well controlled, Ive just nipped into his room to retrieve a phone charger he borrowed, ( he’s currently at work) and came across an opened letter from the local MH services, he has been referred to something called’ early intervention in Psychosis team’ as he has been experiencing auditory hallucinations when tired, I am devastated, my poor son, why didn’t he tell me? I could help him, i gutted he feels he has to go through this alone 😭 the thing is, if I say i know he’s going to think i have been snooping around, and it was a genuine accident that I saw it, but i don’t feel like I can say nothing knowing full well this is happening, ☹️ch

At least he’s doing something to help himself. I think you need to respect his privacy

I never thought of it that way,

Maybe he’s suffering from paranoia and so is keeping it to himself
just be kind and loving and encouraged that he is receiving help

You cannot mention it
he sounds like he is being proactive in getting help and support
be ready for when, or if, he wants to talk

You cannot accidentally read an entire letter 🙄

So he'd be right about that.

Can you perhaps get onto the topic by discussing your own MH and hope he opens up?

He's an adult and he's getting help...I'm sorry though, it must be hard

You can’t say anything it is a huge invasion of privacy to read his mail, and there is n0 way you accidentally just read it. The fact you can’t even own your snooping on here means this won’t go well in real life. If he wished to talk to you he would.

That’s what I was thinking, I might just start discussing it in a sort of casual manner & hope this encourages him or at the very least know he is not alone

Thinking about it that way, yes, at least he is sensible enough to access help, & to try and do something about it, thank you for your understanding though. X

Good point

Please don't tell him you read his confidential correspondence. It's a terrible invasion of privacy and I'm sure, in time, he will tell you what is going on. Just be there for him as his mum, and offer support as and when he needs it.

Tackle it by way of your own condition as @StarPyjamas said. Tell him how much you appreciate his support as you get to grips with your own challenges. Say that if he ever needs it you'll be glad to do the same for him. And that you love him and there's nothing ever that would be so bad he can't tell you about it, but that's always up to him.

Honestly you deal with your own concern, and anxiety, sadness and whatever else your feeling in private. He doesn't owe you answers.

He's a full adult doing his best clearly - this invasion of his privacy is unreal.

And don't compare your MH to his, he's 26 - your recent diagnosis is yours, let him be proactive he's clearly concerned enough that he doesn't want to share it with you and at this stage bringing it up in any sense of way will make him feel paranoid. Or unlikely to trust you / not want to go do what he is already doing. Don't say a thing.

And don't read someone elses letters tf. I would probably cut my mother out for going through my letters.

Eh, or you will make him think 'I've got all my own issues going on and mums got hers but shes mentioned it again I need to be strong for her'

Does he smoke weed ? I agree you can’t say anything but it’s a v good sign he is taking steps to deal with it

I love this reply, thank you for a very helpful & empathetic reply, it just goes to prove that MN is not a Viper pit at all ☺️

Is it is getting that busy in the viper pit that you needed to come out and get some fresh air 🙄

Not as far as I am aware, he’s very healthy living due to being a gym enthusiast, weighing out meals etc

Didn’t your mother ever teach you that if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all ?? 🙄

Does he know about your bipolar and eupd. I have bipolar and eupd and haven't told my parents mainly due to them being the you just get on with it type of people.

This reply has confused me.

I don't think the PP was being unkind, just stating a possibility 😳

She really didn't. She was a horrible person who paid me no respect, or privacy either.

But I do not mean to upset you, only give a different POV.

You posted, I replied.

I wasn't vicious, I purely have a different view.