Was I unreasonable to mind a drunk man joining our group dancing?

[CloseTheDoors]

Last night I went out into town to see a film with a friend. There was a band on someone had recommended to me so we grabbed a bite and headed over. It was a bar with a cover band playing, we bumped into others we know who got us on the dance floor. At this point I should it is a while since I have been out dancing on a Saturday night.
Pretty early on a very drunk bloke noticed we were a group of women so “latched onto us”. He started by trying to talk to me, I blanked him and turned my back every time he tried to dance near me. None of the other women in the group were interested in him but they did smile and didn’t seem bothered by him dancing with us.
So am I an old fuddy duddy or is it pretty toxic for a bloke to think it is ok to push in with a group of women dancing together who don’t want you there? It did bring back memories for me of being younger and feeling I didn’t want to be rude.

You are under no obligation to entertain, or respond to, random men. Drunk men or sober men makes not a huge amount of difference really. You weren't rude.

I agree with you, but some women want male attention no matter who it's from.

No you were not rude, seen an awful video on Facebook of a group of women enjoying dinner and wine. Some drunk puke sat down at their table and was taking their wine and saying awful things. Called one of the ladies a fat ugly B when she asked him to move along. He felt they should be delighted with his company. It is just not good enough.

I'm with you @CloseTheDoors . I no longer have any time for drunk men thinking I owe them my attention.

YWNBU

It’s quite likely the rest of your group minded too, but thought it was safer to “nod and smile” than get into it with a pissed and entitled bloke.

Neither reaction is wrong!

Nope, don’t do random men dancing with me
and neither do my friends. He’d have been given short shrift from all of us and probably found his toes stepped on several times with our pointy heeled boots.

Your mates are the old fuddy duddies by allowing the man to barge in. Modern women are more likely to have a problem with it than ‘old fashioned’ women

This happens fairly regularly when I go out with friends. If they don’t take the hint one of us usually has to be firmer and say something. If it doesn’t work, security or bar staff are usually helpful. It’s not pleasant but don’t just accept it and let a drunken letch ruin your night.

Wow, care to expand?

As I get older I find I have less tolerance for nearly everything men do.

What more is there to say?
What didn't you understand from my comment?

Well I mean, you could’ve been polite and made clear to him by speaking to him that you weren’t interested. To blank someone just because they spoke with you is downright rude.

I bet he was the type of man to say ‘oh just smile love’ when you were rejecting his unwanted attention.

Or the other cliche "lesbian"

@ExpectMore there was no speaking, there was a live band playing in a corner of a pub.

@Gwenhwyfar i have never met a woman who wants the attention of any male. That is why I asked you to expand on your comment. As you didn’t I assume you are unable to.

I’d have done the same as you

It’s a tale old as day unfortunately. I think back to my nights out a decade ago where this was the case. I would love to understand one day the thought process of all men who think it’s in any way attractive, just as much as approaching women at bus stops, when they’re walking out and about or generally minding their own business and saying things like ‘you’re beautiful’, cat calling out of car windows - do they genuinely think one day a woman will respond ‘omg wow thank you so much do you want a shag?’

To try and barge in on a group of friends is the downright rude action.

HTH

I might have misread (pretty sure I didn’t) but the OP didn’t say he barged in….

Horrible. Probably ruined her night.

I agree with her. Unfortunately many women do like the attention of men. You can see them positively glowing if a random man talks to them, I have witnessed it. Mostly in my 20s and early 30s. And seeing older women who say they miss when they had attention from men.

Well I don't know what to say to someone who has never met a woman who wants male attention. That's very rare. Do you only know nuns or lesbians?
Personally, I would not want attention from a man I don't know, but plenty of women do, that's clear.
I don't how much more explanation you need!

@Gwenhwyfar you said any man, as in you know women who don’t care who the man is as long as he gives her attention.