Are you a proper grown up?

[notapropergrownupat49]

I am just realising there are many ways in which I don’t feel like a “proper” grown up.
I can’t cook well
I don’t manage to keep all my toiletries together in one place so always scrabbling for them
I can’t handle a job for long
I don’t have a good wardrobe
My car is never clean
my garden has plenty of weeds
Don’t get me started on my lack of pension.
what else do you consider grown up behaviour?

I’m actively trying not to be! I cook very well (but so does my dd, that means nothing) and I’m a saver but my gardening skills are zero, my clothes are from charity shops and sales because I can’t really be bothered, and my car is a disgrace.

off out tonight where there will be dancing, in my dm’s pretending I’m still young

I’ve recently concluded that I am, which is actually a bit sad.

I have a clean, organised house, everything gets paid, I have a good pension.

I’ve noticed my friends who live nearby will always ask me if I have eg a wheelbarrow they could borrow or herbs and spices

maybe I’m just a boring git

I tick all the boxes to be a proper grown up but there are times in life where I think 'i need to talk to a more grown up grown up' 😅

No.
Stupidly low-paid job despite having two degrees (M.A) and a degree-equivalent diploma. I chose the wrong subjects completely and have been unlucky overall there.

My house and car are both a mess, I cannot get to grips with housework. I have always been very messy.
Never been married or had children, string of unsuitable realtionships with some very unsavoury people, or just those who were not right for me, or wanted to use me, etc etc.

But... Yes I am intelligent on paper. So that's something.

I own 5 BTLs.
I am a good cook, naturally. My ex used to marvel at my ability to turn a few cupboard bits and bats into a 'real' meal.

I am 44, go to the gym for lifting nearly ever day so my body is pretty good, and I am strong.

I start self-employed tutoring of an evening soon, so will be a bit less financially embarrassed.

Life is generally happy even if I am a bit skint at the end of the month.

I have a beautiful dog. My house is lovely and in a good area near family (they're not always great but I still like being near them). And I remain single because relationships are just not for me, I have finally decided!

I am financially dependent on my husband of 24 years. I suppose I am very good at relationships both romantic and friendships, rarely forget a birthday and am often asked to parties/drinks etc

I think if you can vote, get married, pay taxes and fill out a form on your own you are probably a grown up. If you're not bothered about cooking or being tidy and it doesn't affect others negatively, I would crack on.

I can pinpoint the exact moment I realised I was an adult. I was 28 and in NICU with DS1, who was born extremely prematurely and was there for 4 months in total. He was about two weeks old and my mum happened to be there with me that day. The cardiologist came for a serious chat and I couldn’t work out why he was talking to me rather than my mum. At that moment it dawned that I was supposedly a grown up.

I’m now 49 and wear a Charlie Brown watch (Charlie Brown’s arms are the hands that move round). I bought it for myself a few years ago in benign rebellion to my parents refusing to let me have one when I was about 10 as apparently I’d grow out of it. Bwahaha.

Having a baby made me feel like a grown up. However I feel I am doing life backwards. Bought a house, got married, had a baby. Then divorce, renting, degree and starting again! I have a tiny pension too let’s hope I live to 100 to tick all the important adult life boxes! Maybe there are to many boring expectations anyway…

Nope! I'm married, with a master's degree, a mortgage, a car and a daughter. I'm happiest doing messy crafts with 5 year olds. I have no pension. I still wonder what I'll be when I grow up.

DD is at her wonderful auntie's for the day. I've had too much beer and I'm texting DH to turn the fan on for me.

In parts.

I'm Gen X, so was ridiculously able to stand on my own two feet, forage and fix shit by the age of about 9. Definitely feral and able to cope in the wild.

At home? Not so much. I'm not good at tidying, cleaning or having an Instagram worthy house. We found tying stuff together with binder twine or hammering a couple of wonky nails in worked and I've never been that good at aesthetics (or fannying about) over practicality.

Seeing as my immediate reaction to reading "are you a proper grown up?" was to want to stick my tongue out and say blaaaargh - I'd say no. No, I'm not. 😁

I don't feel like one but I'm 63 so suppose I must be.

No, at 40 and bloody useless at everything!

NMW job, can’t afford to do anything and can’t afford to go anywhere as fuel prices are just getting too high! Oh and rubbish at life admin so ex does all that for me!

My fridge is always a disaster. I often think ‘when I grow up’ I’ll make sure why fridge is organised and food is planned In advance (I do cook good healthy food, I’m just wasteful which upsets me). My mum sometimes organises my fridge for me when she visits. She makes comments which is probs
why i feel childish having a disorganised fridge. However, in many ways I’m more ‘grown up’ than her (for example I stuck at a career, she floated around even though she’s extremely capable) For a few years I had a cleaner who did it, but current cleaner just wipes it… I don’t feel like I can ask her to organise it!

Shop at a butchers then that will be easy AND to will feel like a grown up x

I’ve got three grown children and five grandchildren, a mortgage free house, a paid for car, a happy marriage and a dog. And I still feel I am playing at being a grown up.
I am so lucky to still have my parents around and I feel that I won’t truly feel grown up until I no longer have them. So for me being a true grown up will be a sad time.

I mean I'm married, with children, professionally qualified and have something resembling a decent career.

however my car is a shit heap, I regularly have to rewash clothes I've forgotten in the machine, I haven't had a haircut in about 2 years because I keep forgetting to arrange one, and so on

I feel like a pretty normal adult as I don't think anyone has their shit completely together!

I’m really not convinced anyone actually has got the hang of adulting. I think we all excel at somethings and ‘fail’ at others but are all very good at pretending that we know what we are doing/hiding the calamitous evidence at what we suck at doing 99% of the time.

adulting is highly over rated imo.
much prefer splashing about in rain puddles.

I'm approaching 60, adulting is overrated IMO.

I wasn't great at being young when I was actually young..

I excel at Excel!

lol same here. I have tried to drive, failed many times and come to the conclusion that I’m simply not safe on the road, but according to some people I’m limiting my life too a few square miles. I’ve actually visited some of the most remote places on the planet including the Arctic and the middle of the Andes and have a job that involves speaking at high-level multilateral conferences. I also commit many other non-adult mumsnet cardinal sins like lying in til lunchtime on weekends, not changing my bed weekly, not cooking, not getting properly dressed every day and generally being a bit of a lazy slob. I definitely don’t feel like a grown up.

Anyone looking at me, my circumstances and my life would definitely say I am a grown up. I am really really organised, hold a senior professional role, guest lecture at universities, speak at conferences, paid off my mortgage. Emotionally I have my shit together and I am really level headed, and don't get into dramas with people. I am responsible for the lives/wellbeing of others (I don't mean I'm a surgeon, just kids/animals etc).

But on the other hand, I can't see how I could ever be ready to marry someone or even live with them. I have never been married. But haved lived with others for shortish periods. I also like to build Lego and play on my games console. I am fun and playful. I like to be silly. I look a lot younger than my age as well. I also generally don't have the commitments others my age have, which makes me feel less grown up. Mostly because I had a child so young, she has grown up and got married herself, whereas my peers have school aged children and are very tied down.

Oh right
I think a lot of adult skills may be linked to this kind of thing. If you let your partner do all the adult stuff then it’s easy to let things slide.

someone mentioned Lego I don’t think enjoying playing with Lego makes you not an adult I bloody love Lego!