Have I done the right thing or caused huge drama?

[Repercussionsonboom]

Changed name for what are obvious reasons.

I know a retired couple (lovely people)whose adult son lives with them (he works away alot) and their grandchild who is junior school age. The child typically spends 6 days with grandparents/father and 1 day with theirmother.

The child has not been to school for over a year. They have been to 4 different primary schools (all good schools) and the mother removes the child (she doesnt agree with schools). Each time the father arranges a new school the mother bans them from seeing the child. And takes the child away. No homeschooling is happening.

There have been regular incidents of fights and the child becoming violent and breaking things. The language is awful (mainly from the child).

Today I phoned the safeguarding team and reported this. I didnt want to interfere but made a promise to myself I would report it if the child was not in school.this year.

Now I wish I hadn't. Doubting myself. The anger will now be directed to me and I just want a quiet life. But I also think it needs to reporting before something awful happens.

You've done the right thing. They won't give your name to them, so this could have been reported by lots of people including multiple schools.

I think you did absolutely the right thing.

You did right.

Well done for doing the right thing.

Well done OP. We need more folk like you.

You have done the right thing, the mother sounds awful.

You have identified safeguarding concerns. You have reported those concerns to the appropriate authorities for further investigation.

I'm not sure what else you could have reasonably done in this situation.

I know it couldn't continue and I have been amazed a child can be "missing" from education and not checked on.

Does anyone know the procedure now Safeguarding have this report?

And thank you for telling me that it had to be reported.

Echo you did the right thing. Someone needs to look out for this kid.

You have done the right thing. The number one priority in all of this is the child's welfare, isn't it?

The safeguarding team will not go blabbing your name to all and sundry, and the family is bound to know a number of other people who could potentially have reported it anyway.

Well done OP. I too am wrestling with a dilemma regarding a child. Ive always seen it as a very black and white matter but its different when you are the one to actually do it isnt it?

The mind boggles as to why the father hasn't been to court a long time ago. It's likely that's what social work will advise him to do.

It's not like 'grassing' to police. What are you afraid of happening?

It is isn't it?

My logical head is "this needs to be escalated and reported"
The other part of my head is "I dont need hassle, having my property/cars/children threatened/damaged (the mother)".

I reckon they will work out it is me (mainly because it feels like a huge arrow flashing above my head saying "it's me"

I’m not afraid of anything. It’s just I’m not sure I trust my instincts. Anyway, don’t want to derail the thread

The three adults in that household are letting that child down. So what if they know it was you? They should thank you for putting a rocket under them.

But they are not likely to see it that way unfortunately. Easier to blame the external "interfering' busy body than address own accountability.

You won’t be the only person that’s reported them

I am hoping that...

you've reported the mum or the dad? I'm a bit unclear. Oh ok just seen it's the dad and GP. You are obviously right to report. Why isnt the dad/gp taking him to school when he's with them though if he's there 6/7 nights? Surely both need to agree to remove a child from school? I'm just wondering if there's some send issues going on. They might appreciate the report tbh, getting a suite placement is a nightmare and they might get more support if social care are involved.