Dodgy bloke never messages me

[Blueshape]

There's a man at my sports club who has a rep for sending flirty messages to women. I don't think he expects anything to come from it, he seems very happy with his wife, she is aware of 'what he's like', it's all a bit if fun. He does it to women bith younger and older than him. I'm a bit older.

I don't hold with the bit of fun - I think there's something wrong if sending things designed make people uncomfortable is your idea of fun, but I keep quiet because it doesn't affect me and I don't want to be labelled as a kill joy. The women involved do seem to enjoy it.

Anyway he's never messaged me this way. Is that because I somehow give off vibes that make it clear it wouldn't be welcome or am I really rhat unattractive?! I don't want him to but am weirdly put out that he doesn't 😆

Be greatful the jerk isn't.
How embarrsing for his partner.

Please don’t tell me you’re serious - are you?

are you offended the sports club sleaze doesn’t flirt with you?

No, I'm not serious.

I am curious though. I'd like to think it's because it's clear I command respect 😆

he seems very happy with his wife, she is aware of 'what he's like', it's all a bit if fun.

I don't hold with the bit of fun - I think there's something wrong if sending things designed make people uncomfortable is your idea of fun, but I keep quiet because it doesn't affect me and I don't want to be labelled as a kill joy. The women involved do seem to enjoy it.

If his wife apparently seems to think it’s a bit of fun and the women on the receiving end are enjoying it then who exactly are the people he’s making feel uncomfortable?

This is a very confused post.

He sounds utterly revolting.

Message him and ask him.

I don't hold with the bit of fun - I think there's something wrong if sending things designed make people uncomfortable is your idea of fun

So you don't mean that ^^ at all then, do you?

His wife is fine with it, the women involved seem to enjoy it, it's just that you're put out because he's not flirting with you too.

Maybe he just doesn’t fancy you!?
Or would he be punching way too far above his weight, if he did?

You may not be his type. Don't be disappointed. If he is known for this behaviour why hasn't he been pulled up about it? All a bit of fun isn't a defence in Court or in a HR meeting

If he is known for this behaviour why hasn't he been pulled up about it? All a bit of fun isn't a defence in Court or in a HR meeting

Because on the face of it he’s not doing anything wrong. There’s nothing inherently wrong with flirty messages between adults in a social setting IF everyone involved consents and is fully onboard which seems to be the case here. No one seems to have a problem apart from OP who ironically is not involved. Also not sure what court or HR have to do with anything as there’s nothing to say he’s being a pest, harassing anyone, crossing boundaries etc. In fact, OP’s whole post is that he’s NOT messaging her.

Considering it’s a sports club and he’s only messaging certain women and not others (like the OP); my guess is he probably has a certain level of friendship / familiarity with these women (which OP may not be aware of) which is why it’s seen as a just bit of fun / “banter” to all who are involved - this would also explain why his wife is okay with it.

Who knows. The pervy flirt at works avoids me both because I'm too old for him (still younger than him 🤢) and because my face arranges itself a certain way when he enters the room.

Rubbish takes itself out.

So to be clear - you are not offended?

he seems very happy with his wife, she is aware of 'what he's like', it's all a bit if fun.
and
the women involved seemed to enjoy it

He doesn’t sound dodgy then?

All in all another weird thread from @Blueshape

So these women show you the messages? What do they actually say?
How do you know him and wife aren't swingers and some of the women from the club choose to have sex with him or them both consensually? If you say you know she's fine with it.

This exact situation happened to an old neighbour of ours back in '95 when we lived in the bungalow.

Male pig was showing interest in anything that moved apart from my neighbour, she dressed more and more provocative as she couldn't understand it, not for anything to come of it mind you, just to be noticed. Anyway when she was down to her last few threads and nothing left to the imagination she caught the eye of a passing window cleaner which resulted in them both running off to Newport (isle of wight) and her husband was devastated

Mark my words op, nothing good will come of this, you are handling fire and I have seen the burn

Did male pig show you interest @ShakyBake ?

Sadly not

Hang on, how would he even have your number to be able to message you if he's such an insufferable creep?

And how have you "commanded respect" if you've kept your mouth shut and said absolutely nothing?

A senior guy at my friend's work (New York) has never tried it on with her, and she is absolutely sure he likes her - but this is because she very firmly put him in his place right at the start, using words. She was upset a year later that he had never shown interest in her (even though she'd made it clear he's not to treat her like a piece of meat) and I guess she wanted the flattery. I told her it's because she had put boundaries in place, and that he seemed terrified of her!

Maybe @ShakyBake is particularly adept at keeping perfectly still?