How to deal with change

[Apacketofbiscuitsaday]

I've never been good with change. I really seem to struggle with it. For example at work when colleagues I've liked move on/leave, new leadership, job role changes, transitions etc.

My first instinct is always to want to jump ship but I want to learn to ride the waves.

Does anyone have any good tips to help me deal with things better?

Tia

unclear - when say something changes at work do you actually jump ship and want advice on how not to, or do you just feel like that which is quite normal ?

You already have the insight to know that you find it difficult, so really it's just time that makes it better as you get used to the change.

You might find things that help you in the in-between phase, as a way of distracting or comforting yourself. Stuff like having a trusted person you can vent to or talk things through with, or journaling, exercise or other nice distractions if you tend to stew on things too much. Try to see the new opportunities or the upside in the change, as well as gratitude for whatever is good in your life.

It's feelings of wanting to leave but then leaving creates change in itself so isn't always the best course of action for me when I struggle with change!

@chocolateflyingpenguin thank you

I am still unclear what you are asking - you don’t want to feel the feelings you do?

What negative impacts do those feelings actually have? Is it those things you need to fix ?

in life we sometimes just have to give things time to heal

I think you need to separate things out - so change in and of itself is unsettling and our instinct can be to run. It’s also true that seeing other people make changes can alert us to possibilities we hadn’t considered. The first feeling can be one worth riding out - if everything has been ok and you’re just unsettled it can be worth seeing how the change actually plays out. The second feeling can be worth acting on if you start thinking you want to widen your horizons.

The thing to remember is that making quick decisions when you feel unsettled rarely works out well. So I usually tell myself to take time, if I still feel unsettled after a few months I can still make a change, but one that’s more considered and planned.

Can it work for you to try to imagine the new possibilities that the change opens up and write them down?

Also to remind yourself that you will feel uncertain and discombobulated for a time - and during that time you’ll be kind to yourself - but in a few days/weeks the feelings will settle and in two months this won’t matter at all.

Why so fragile?

don't got you

I think you need to think about acceptance in general. We all waste a ton of our energy on thinking things should be other than what they are, yet life just carries on whether we wish it not to or not. Theres a lot of peace with accepting that what is, is and there’s nothing we can change apart from our own inner responses.