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8yo dysregulation after returning to school, is this common?

2 replies

Verrytiredmum · 15/09/2026 19:34

DS is nearly 8. He's been quite dysregulated since returning to school following summer holidays two weeks ago. As far as we know school is going well, he has lots of friends, and seems happy and reports positively on his day. But he loses his temper with his little sister or us (for no reason), screams and yells, is cheeky, etc. Is this post-holiday meltdown common for children? When DH brought him to bed this evening and told him reading was over he threw a massive strop and was screaming and crying for nearly an hour. He screamed and said mummy go away and then spent 10 minutes shouting for me to come back for a cuddle, but then wanted it to be just so and shouting more about that.

He experienced some traumatic events between 6-7 years and had a full year of therapy, as well as ASD and ADHD assessments (due to beahviour changes at the time, becoming withdrawn and angry) that were negative. Any help on managing this behaviour? It's quite exhausting and I'm worried we'll hardly be in a rhythm before the next holiday comes along 😕

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 15/09/2026 19:57

Are school aware of the trauma and therapy?
As he gets older academic demands will increase and he may be masking in school then struggling at home with behaviour, regulation and attachment.
They may need to be making adjustments or following trauma informed practice in school.

It’s interesting that you explored ASD/ ADHD. The Coventry grid attached shows the different presentation. May help you to unpick behaviour and discuss with school staff.

https://www.scribd.com/document/448823046/Coventry-Grid-Version-2-Jan-2019-pdf

Dryshampoofordays · 15/09/2026 20:06

Are you able to help him make sense of his overwhelmed feelings? Maybe not during if he’s too upset but afterwards? Explaining that it’s hard when we don’t feel right and things feel too much but we don’t know what we need to feel better. Reassure him it’s normal to feel like this sometimes and that you and dad will help figure out ways to help him feel better.
supportive conversations like this could help reduce the intensity if he’s trying to communicate something through his behaviour that he doesn’t have the words for.

could an after school routine be set up where he has a snack and some space to help him transition into home mode away from sister if possible?

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