How do full-time working parents find time beyond work and childcare?

[exceptmeandmymonkey]

I work full-time in a global corporate role, usually 7:30 a.m.- 5:00 p.m., plus a little bit of extra work in the evening. DH is in a similar role, but starts later (he's roughly 9 a.m.–6:15 p.m.). We don't have family nearby. The kids are in primary school and use after-school club until I collect them.

I'm naturally quite introverted, mid 40s, and struggling with peri at the moment (on HRT but still have low mood and joint pain). DH is very involved and pulls his weight.

I'm lucky to have a steady job in this environment, and we have a lot to be grateful for. But I feel like I'm crumbling. Most days it feels as though I get on a treadmill at 7:30am and don't step off until about 8 p.m., when the kids are in bed. Then I have an hour of watching TV because I have no energy to do anything else, before doing it all again the next day. On weekends children have a club each morning, then we have chill family time (e.g. playground, park, pub) in the afternoon.

The children are wonderful if somewhat full-on, DH is a good guy, and I feel lucky to be employed. I just don't feel like I'm enjoying my life very much at the moment and find myself being grouchy and impatient because I feel so spent.

So, genuinely: if you work full-time with primary-aged children, what does your life look like outside work/childcare/admin? How do you make time for hobbies/friends/etc?

I'm particularly interested in hearing from people who don't have a big family support network. I feel like I'm missing something obvious.

@MagicUser1 Outsourcing: we have a cleaner 2 hours per week (which is enough) and an afterschool babysitter who does pick-ups 2x weekly.

Childcare can be very tricky to arrange (one child has significant issues with emotional regulation i.e. outbursts/hitting/screaming). Current afterschool pick-up does 2 pick-ups per week and that's the maximum she can handle (no judgment from me). On those days, I work straight through without an afternoon pick-up, watch one child whilst she takes another to club, and then I batch cook.

On other people's points: I do think I use my phone too much in little bits of time as a default 'disconnect my brain.' I would like to find a better use of random 15 minute bits of time as I think those disconnects are draining and depressing.

I actually think a meal box delivery for 2-3 meals per week could be great and minimize meal planning/prep time.

I do wonder if I could get away with a bit of time once a week, like a weekly swim on a quiet Friday morning. Thanks for that idea.

I only work 4 long days but basically I don’t have time for anything outside work and childcare. My boys are full on at the weekend so no downtime and don’t settle to bed (we stay with them until they fall asleep) until 8:30/9pm. Then it’s wash, sort out bags for next day any life admin that has to be done, a bit of a clean and go to sleep. I find summer is easier than winter. If we want to do hobbies or have some time to ourselves the other partner has a harder time with the nighttime routine or a more exhausting weekend so we try and keep it minimal to survive lol. Hopefully it won’t be too long or this stage. My boys are 7 and 3.

It’s the hours.
most people who start work at 7am are finishing by 3pm, or via versa. Your both working long hours, early and late.

We generally work 4day week, so have 3 day weekends most weeks. Also wtf and flexible.

We also don’t have any fixed classes or events on weekends, so most things can be attended or skipped accordingly if we are needing a more relaxed weekend, or anyone under weather.

I haven’t really watched any tv since Ds was born, 6+ years ago. I don’t find its worth my time. Work days we work, looking after ds, his activities often until around 6.30pm, dinner, tidy, finish up laundry or garden or other admin and it’s 9-10pm. Bed

I have only one child.

sorry, something distracted me.
we encourage each other to make plans and then we just make sure the other one has an easier night e.g. easy teatime, snuggle and watch a film.
We make Saturday nights a film and takeaway night for us. We go for a family walk after tea on a Friday just to get us out.

On other people's points: I do think I use my phone too much in little bits of time as a default 'disconnect my brain.' I would like to find a better use of random 15 minute bits of time as I think those disconnects are draining and depressing

I get this issue.

Something that works for me on WFH days is a bit of exercise - nothing too excessive but some bicep curls/squats/lunges, simple weight exercises.