How do you relax when work and anxiety feel overwhelming?

[BoldAquaOP]

If you have a busy life, have anxiety etc
how do you relax?
im struggling with work, general life and horrific anxiety and overthinking, i need to relax but finding it very difficult

it got too much for me last year, nothing worked so I started medication. that has brought it down to a more manageable level so now when I get anxious I'm able to relax by watching my comfort shows such as Only Murders In the Building. Or listen to podcasts. I also vent to ChatGPT. it helps to write it out without feeling like im burdening my friends.

Anxiety is the emotion that's triggered when there's something that's too important to ignore. So the first thing is to pinpoint exactly what you're feeling anxious about. (If your automatic response is to say 'everything' ask yourself if you're worried about the chair collapsing underneath you – if the answer is no then start narrowing it down).

Next figure out if the thing(s) triggering the anxiety actually need your attention. Some people are like meerkats, constantly scanning for danger. You will always find it if you look hard enough.

Once you've identified the source of the anxiety and decided it's worthy of your attention ask yourself if there's a solution. If there is, do it. If there isn't then there's no point in trying to solve it now. Give yourself permission to focus on it as and when you can change it, but for now it's OK to set it to one side.

I have tried medication before but stopped, got a doctors appointment tomorrow to go back on the tablets from before

I knit, but the simplest, easiest pattern ever, nothing complex. Just keeping my hands busy and watching the rows increase while I watch or listen to something soothing really helps.

I've also recently found adult colouring by numbers helps. You're literally told what colour goes where so you don't need to think about anything other than staying within the lines.

Crafts: sewing, cross stitch, embroidery. I make bags, purses, Christmas tree ornaments, bookmarks, kids toys, anything. I keep them, give them to friends, donate - it doesn't matter. I'm looking into sashiko as it looks beautiful.

I was massively anxious during pregnancy, for no reason I could pinpoint, and (I'm embarrassed to admit...) I read the Twilight series back to back, then started again 🤣 I don't recommend it! It was a good while ago. But it was pure escapism and worked wonders.

If work is stressing me out, I take a step back and see: what I can control, what I can expect, the outcome of certain projects, the people I'm working with and our expectations of each other. If X person is useless, factor that in,expect lax communication, pass those problems higher up. If Y person tends to micromanage, let them to a certain extent, but have clear boundaries. Terrible boss: oof, change job. I've found the older I get, the more tolerant I am with things I can't control, I can only control my reactions to them.

I have a teenager and I work with teenagers, all I can do is treat them with respect, expect good days and bad, be a calm and steady voice, be flexible but firm. DH's family are nutters, so I've disengaged, no stress there.

One more thing: cleaning! If I'm anxious: clean. If I'm raging: clean. If I'm bored: clean. If I'm procrastinating on something else: I clean! Weirdly, if I HAVE to clean you can usually find me doom scrolling in bed!

Don't forget self care can be a hot drink and a lie down, it doesn't have to be an activity.

I hope that helps x

This is brilliant advice - thank you for sharing!

Five minutes of breathing meditation before attempting a relaxing activity will help the activity find a route to relax you. It's like wiping the surface before you start cooking,bor getting a fresh piece of paper to draft a letter on.

Have you ever tried meditation? Can really work for some people.

Yes I have tried it before, didn’t do much for me

I walk or do some cleaning. Neither work very well but can help a bit.

I am the same personality type & not in a good place st the mo.
I have found building lego models helpful as you have yo concentrate on it

Think they say 10 mins a day for three months to see the benefit.

It won't change you radically but if it got you in a better state to enjoy a film or book it might help.

Meditation is often too much for many people

Breath control

• particularly "box breathing"

In for a count of four, hold for a count of four, out for a count of four, hold for a count of four repeated a couple of times can be done at a traffic light or in a queue or waiting at the school gate and it WORKS to boost the parasympathetic nervous system