Anyone else notice their husband getting a bit more grumpy as they get older ?

[Lastdaysofsummer26]

friday night went for a meal and comedy show
the meal was fine but at the show it wasn’t his cup of tea really
so he sat there with a face like a slapped arse
didn’t even try and laugh and go along with it
then when we left
he said to me thoughts ?
unsaid I thought It was pretty decent and better than a night in front of the telly
i didn’t ask him his thoughts as i knew he’d just start off whinging and moaning

so then he said oh how he didn’t think it was very good blah blah

and I just think you wanna try and enjoy yourself a bit as your starting to become one of them moaney men
he’s late 40s so maybe it’s his age ?

Hard to say really. Comedy that doesn’t land is painful for me so I wouldn’t have enjoyed it.

No, I get this - I think as women we are used to smiling and going along with things to keep things pleasant, my DH has none of that pressure so if he’s not enjoying it we all bloody know about it as he won’t pretend otherwise. It has def got worse as he’s got older - weirdly though when I flipped it round and wouldn’t toe the line for his things it really bothered him. I call it being social lube and I’m only prepared to do it if he does the same!

I wouldn't sit and force myself to laugh through something I didn't find funny.

No but I have noticed a reluctance to do stuff online. His father leaves all of that for MIL and we are not going down that road!

Yes, things seem a lot more effort now, like if I ask him to do something (that I physically can't atm). His outlook on life leans more towards the negative & he often mentions regrets of not doing things, but then has no motivation to change that! I make sure I have my own interests & friends to do things with, so that I'm not missing out.

Sad to inform you , but it's only going to get worse .
My husband doesn't need me to join in on a conversation / moan , he just needs a person to do it to .

I can be sat on the bed with my back to him , on here or reading / doing something but he will still launch into his current bugbear .
The good news is I don't have to have any input / opinion / show interest just an ummm or an ah now and again !

This morning I've had the Ireland division , Reform , the weather , health , something about EVs, the environment and it's only 10am !

Good for you

Yes its a monologue

I was given free tickets for a comedy show at the end of last year, the opening set was quite decent but after that it was bloody dire. It was in Birmingham at symphony hall I think the tickets were £50 each. It’s awful being stuck watching something you don’t find funny.

Mine is 58 he can talk about shit like flanges sometimes or some type of weird washer and I’m not interested but he is actually still a laugh.

He had an injury yesterday nothing awful but I was worried about infection due to the circumstances, septic tankI said you can’t die because I will get bored. He seemed quite aggrieved by this but I said it was a compliment.

My friends and I all regularly complain about how much grumpier our husbands have got since they hit 50. We call it the manopause.

Mine is either like this (I blame the stuff on his phone). Moan, rant. Or I just get the silent treatment and wonder what I've done. It's pathetic.

Mine is 69 and occasionally goes full on Victor Meldrew! He can get angry quite quickly over stupid things. Most of the time he is lovely, but I am keeping an eye....

I said it's falling testosterone to him once which he had to Google and took serious umbrage at. But you can't argue with science.

DH is heading that way fast - he’s 48

DDad can be utterly unbearable at times and has been known as Victor for years

Friend of mine said exactly this last year so she took matters into her own hands to instill some excitement by booking him a tandem skydive. She wanted to 'shock some life back into him before the rot sets in'.

Anyway he did it but his false teeth came out and he sprained both his ankles on landing and she says he grumpier then ever now

Oh God yes! But to be fair, I’m a lot more grumpy too.

I think it’s falling testosterone same as our estrogen reduces
Maybe the regrets of life creep in and make them grumpy and unfulfilled (same as women can feel)

Personally I’ve found it can go either way, many men get mellow as they age

Yes. My DH is definitely grumpier. Even the DC comment on it. We mostly try and deal with it with a sense of humour.

Yes Victor Meldrew has been mentioned here too. The talking at me resonates too. I don’t think DH actually cares what I think he just wants to offload. It’s draining.

Yes grumpy monologue the minute he comes home from work, there's always some problem, I suspect the problem is him!
Hes gone much more antisocial and averse to going anywhere unless it's on his terms. I just arrange my social life for myself now.

Strangly he can also be lovely and has arranged a number of short breaks for us over the year, but again, on his terms and if it's just him and me he's not having to socialise with anyone else.
We're both mid 50s.

I thought mine was getting really grumpy sometime after he turned 50. I kept catching him starring at people and things with a angry looking face too.

It was only after he got a tremor in his hand that I realised he my have parkinsons symptoms. Took about 18 months after that to get him to go to doctor for diagnosis.

Definitely would have preferred him just being a grumpy old git.

😭 😭 😭

Yes, mine is very grumpy. He's close to retirement and I think sees all the people coming up behind him as not very good at their jobs. Also worries a lot about the state of the world and a lot of other stuff we have no control over.
But he did make me laugh last week. We went to a heath to take the dog for a walk. He was moaning about AI etc etc. This couple about our age walked past us and the bloke was ranting and the woman wasn't saying anything. DH said "Did you hear that? He said he wished the internet had never been invented. I think I should walk with him and you should walk with her!".

Sorry I shouldn’t laugh, but the mental image of this in my head is hilarious! 🤣

I really don’t get it. He didn’t enjoy a show you went to and you think that means he is getting grumpy because of his age? Surely it just means he didn’t enjoy the show, and that’s ok, we don’t always enjoy everything. You sound a bit offended that he didn’t pretend to like it, which would be a really weird thing to do.