Please answer some birthday party questions for me!

[Yukelele]

My son is turning 5 in 2 months. Hes never had a proper party with friends before and really wants one, knows what theme he wants and what he wants to do. I am excited and more than happy to do it, but never done it before and don’t know many school aged kids. He still has good friends from nursery and has made a couple of new friends in school and everyone seems really nice.

I am thinking of hiring a place near us that would easily accommodate a lot of kids - and inviting whole class plus a few nursery friends and cousins.

Is inviting whole class a thing or not at all? Im fully aware not everyone will come at all but in theory if they did it would be about 40 kids then I assume some would bring siblings. Is that insane? How many won’t turn up?

Also,

How much in advance do you send the invites out?

Any party rules and etiquette appreciated!! Sorry if I sound weird and probs overthinking it all

Yes inviting the whole class is normal when they’re younger, parties tend to get smaller as they age. People shouldn’t bring siblings, if they did then they’re rude.
what are your plans for the party?

Anticipate that lots of parents won't bother to reply to the invite, so be prepared to either 'wait & see' who turns up, or be prepared to chase up replies.

I'd do food that can be stretched too, so that you're covered if more attend than you'd expected (siblings etc) and have extra party bags if you're doing them too. Delivered pizza is popular, as you'd only order what you need once the party has begun? Or a cold buffet, served out to the kids by an adult?

Don't forget to ask about any allergies.

Try to have other adults who will help you too, as lots of parents see a party as a 'drop & go' type event. If you need the parents to stay and supervise their own child, make that very clear on the invite.

Be prepared to be run off your feet.

@somanychristmaslights Thanks. Big hall with bouncy castle and outdoor space and a couple of other activities. At nursery bringing siblings was common in my experience but maybe not so much in school?

@Whatbloodysummer will people really expect to ‘drop and go’ at a 5 year olds party? I hadn’t even considered. I have quite a few adults who I know will help out with food and organising etc

The whole class parties can be pretty chaotic. Are you imagining having a bouncy castle or entertainer or something? You definitely will want to consider a focus of some sort.

5 was a mix - my son had a dropoff home party but only like 8 kids. Larger parties tend to have parents hovering - but remember that if you had 30 kids that’s 80 or more people if you are allowing parents and siblings.

Have lots of extra party bags - I didn’t consider that the one time I had a whole class party and there were lots of tears.

Very much recommend cupcakes instead of cake as you can just hand them out.

I always send invites super early but it’s usually around 4-6 weeks

Unfortunately, yes, there are plenty parents who see a party as 'childcare opportunity'. I think it's because people somehow think that school aged kids are fine to be left, but not nursery kids?

At 5 there was a mix of parents who stayed and parents who left.

we never got 100% acceptance rate so if we invited 30 we’d get say 25 and some of those wouldn’t have RSVP’d

Sports hall/ village hall parties worked really well. We had a bouncy castle in one corner then another corner had a speaker and phone with kid friendly songs, tables and chairs on another bit and blown up balloons just thrown everywhere.

Party bags can be hard if you don’t know exact numbers so what we found worked well was buying the big tubs of haribo, miniature heroes etc and getting a pack of sweet cones then letting each kid fill their own cone and take that home along with a slice of cake/cupcake and one of the blown up balloons. That way is an activity, a party bag and tidying up all in one fell swoop and you don’t spend the evening before making them up.

2 hrs was the sweet spot. 1 he free play, 30 mins of food and cake then final 30 minutes for final play, sweet cones and starting to filter out.

Food, the kids couldn’t care less, it’s an interruption to playing and they eat just enough to refuel. It is good though as a break to get them all to stop running and bouncing and just take a breather. Keep it simple and I usually stick to vegetarian just so I don’t have to police the ham sandwiches. Buy pre-prepped or no prep where possible and then just lay it all out give every kid a paper plate and let them help themselves.

If the hall has tea and coffee facilities then great, if not then get some fancier fizzy drinks for parents and a couple of boxes of biscuits. Kids are good with juice cartons/feuit shoots or jugs of squash.

Take with you: kitchen roll, bin bags, knife, paper plates/bowls/napkins/table cloths, duct tape for holding down table cloths and sticking up any decorations, plasters

Invitations 2-3 weeks before the party. And in my experience around 20% of people don’t respond to the rsvp. Some of those will just turn up on the day! So make sure you have extra food and a few extra party bags.

Whole class is normal though I wouldn’t include siblings. I mean, if it’s open to the public, parents can bring siblings and pay for them, but they wouldn’t be part of the party, no need to feed them or include them. The parents will sort them.

If you invite 40, I’d expect 20-35. Send invites about 2 weeks before you need to give numbers to the venue with a hard rsvp date. You will need to chase people so ideally make sure you have their contact details or a class WhatsApp or something. Do party bags. They are the best bit.

If you don’t want everyone to turn up, then schedule it for a Saturday morning, approx 11-1. That way it will clash with lots of kids’ (or siblings) football/swimming/gymnastics etc… So you can send out invites to everyone (to not look rude) but also not end up with thirty or more 5 year olds.

My DD has just started Y1 and we've spent the last year taking her to lots of 5th birthday parties, as there were a lot of people who invited the whole class, and she got invited to plenty of smaller parties too.

We have a class WhatsApp group and that's how people did invites when they were inviting the whole class. Advance notice is good (maybe 4-6 weeks?) but the further in advance, the more you'll need to chase for RSVPs nearer the time.

In my experience, people will ask politely if they can bring a sibling when they RSVP. If it's a hall party I always agree to siblings but you do have to prepare extra party bags or be very careful when giving them out (we had an issue with this at DD's recent birthday party!)

Absolutely no-one has done "drop and run" at this age, in all the 5th birthday parties we've hosted and attended (DD is our second child), and I think it's very unlikely, especially if your son is one of the first among his friends to turn 5, as most kids will only be 4 and won't know you very well. It is an opportunity for the class parents to get to know each other a little bit. The small talk aspect isn't for everyone but it is helpful to be friendly with a few of the class parents, I find.

Bouncy castles are fun but the kids can get a bit crazy and hurt themselves or each other, so you will need someone keeping an eye - some parents are more "on it" than others. It's best to ensure you have other things to entertain the kids. The most successful hall parties we've attended have had a children's entertainer, doing games, music, magic tricks or bubble show, that kind of thing.

Re food - I wouldn't be ordering pizza for that number of young kids, it would cost a fortune and a lot would be wasted. (We did domino's for DS's 9th birthday party but it was smaller numbers, they did sport beforehand, and they were hungry so it all got eaten!) Simple cold buffet party food will be fine.

Hope that helps!

Oh and 30 kids is definitely not going to be 80 people!!! Mostly each child will have one parent, it's rare they will bring both parents plus sibling.