Grandfathers death and guilt

[Tiredbutahappymumma]

My grandfather - who I loved more than anything, and was very attached too passed away two days ago. He was admitted to hospital on Saturday morning and passed away on Wednesday morning.
He was with family in Manchester and I was living in London. I came back to my house on Monday night - I had work on Tuesday and thought I’d take some leave and go back on Wednesday evening. However he passed away before I could come back.
im finding it impossible to forgive myself. He was agitated and uncomfortable and I wasn’t there on Tuesday all day. How could I have even thought about work. It was a new job I had just started and I wasn’t were aware of how supportive they are. I’m very distraught and feel angry and unhappy with my self. Can someone help me please

I think your guilt is misplaced grief. Sometimes in the depths of grief our brain latches on to a minor thing which can become huge. Actually, it is a distraction from feeling there true depths of grief that come when you have lost someone dear. Let the guilt go. Your grandad would forgive you. Give in to grief and grieve fully and cry. Do you have any other loved ones around you for support?

Thank you for your reply and for taking the time.
i hadn’t ever thought of it that way, and i guess you maybe be right
I’m remembering every time I wasn’t there for him or didn’t listen to him
my heart feels like it’s about to jump out of my chest

Bump …. Is there anyone else who has any experience with coping with grief