When should new partners be told about long term health conditions?

[WoodyBuzzSlinky]

I have a few friends who are single in their 50s after having been married and having children. They are now looking for new partners and perhaps not looking to get into anything too serious straight away.
The question I have for you is when/whether you think they should tell their new partners about long term health conditions. I won’t say exactly what but let’s say there is a scale from high blood pressure, dodgy knees up to bipolar and a genetic condition meaning the person will end up in a wheelchair. All but the last one are well controlled with treatment but obviously the genetic condition cannot be avoided.
So if you were starting a new relationship at what point would you feel your partner should tell you about this sort of thing?

I would probably encourage them to bring it up. But it has to be them telling the partner.

They're in their 50s and already have children from first marriages, so hopefully they're not planning on pregnancy/ a "new" /second family!

Interesting responses. I was going to say before you get to the point of considering throwing your lot in together financially/ moving in together, which it seems is a lot later than most people have suggested.

I think because you said they aren't necessarily looking for anything serious, but depending on what the issue is then before going away on holiday together might be the tipping point.

I think for an initially non serious relationship type one diabetes and bipolar need to be revealed earlier than a genetic condition which has long term serious prognosis but is not not currently directly causing issues. Pragmatically a holiday companion should know about health conditions which could cause immediate issues and be relevant in an emergency.

The sting in the tail with this particular “friend” is that they have told people details about my health conditions where I would rather keep them quiet. I do agree though, I would never do this so will encourage them to open up.

Your opening post discussed several friends - this post sounds as though it's one friend with a shopping list of conditions.

If it's one friend who has all these conditions - high blood pressure, joint issues, diabetes, bipolar and a degenerative condition - then they're not going to be able to hide the combination for ling anyway! If so it sounds likely that some of the comorbidities could be symptoms of or linked to the main genetic syndrome anyway...

Something that just means medication and little else can wait until sharing a house. More difficult with anything else.

@SchrodingersGuinepig no it is a general post and I do have quite a few single friends who, like me are in their mid 50s.

Ah ok, if it isn't one person with a very complex set of comorbidities then I'll stick with my original answer 😆 Anything that might be immediately relevant in an emergency (bipolar definitely and diabetes if relevant, blood thinners or heart issues if relevant) should be disclosed before booking a holiday together for the first time for practical reasons. Anything else can wait in a relationship between people aged 50+ which is not necessarily going to lead to moving in together.

A man dating a woman of childbearing age should ethically mention a condition he might pass on to offspring before having unprotected sex obviously.

Everything needs disclosing before combining finances or moving in together, if that happens, but some couples choose never to do that if they already have grown up children and their own homes etc.

In a healthy relationship things would be shared organically over time, before it gets to the point of being one another's "main person" if there's no trigger event like moving in together, I think.