I had quite severe anxiety and postnatal OCD with my first. Not sleeping, constantly checking on him in the night, constantly worried he would be injured or die. I had wonderful support from a counsellor on the NHS and managed to move through that by the time he was 1. Postnatal period with my second seemed to go fine but there was always a background niggling concern that somehow she was deeply unwell and will die at a young age. She's just turned 4 and suddenly the worries I had with my first have started to pop up. It was a windy day yesterday, for example, and I was worried that a branch or tree would fall and kill her. Or we're going in the car this weekend (we don't own one, have hired one for a trip) and I'm worried she and we will die. I'm absolutely terrified.
I recognise these are not rational thoughts. I've had stress latelynothing severe, but loads of little things adding up, the usual money worries, worries about older's schooling (he has ADHD and had a tough time last year), worries about my own work and taking on more hours or not, feeling a bit like passing ships with DH lately with young DCand I wonder whether I've reached a tipping point. Or perhaps whether this could be perimenopause anxieties. I had my DC late so I'm nearly 45.
Has anyone else had this? It's obviously too late for postnatal OCD but perhaps it's always been low level and now gotten worse? I don't even drink and yet every day I feel I could use a glass of wine or whiseky to take the edge off! I'm not sure what to do. I talked to DH last night and it felt like he was annoyed, I'm once again overly worried about everything, which made me feel quite rubbish. He said I should talk to someone but I don't know who.