Worried about secondary school.

[Missbob]

I am looking into secondary schools for DS, who is in Year 6.

I have already had older children go through secondary school, and I feel schools have changed a lot over the past few years. There seems to be much more pressure on children now.

At DD’s school, for example, they were at school from 8.30am until 3pm, then had to do masterclass from 3pm until 4pm. After travelling home, they would then have homework/revision from 5pm until 6pm, dinner at 6pm, then more school work from 6.30pm until 8.30pm. Shower etc, then bed at 9.30pm. That was actually in the timetable.

During the school day they only had a 15-minute break and a 40-minute lunch break.

DD would often have maths for 3 hours straight — a double lesson, then a maths masterclass on top. There was also lots of homework and classes during the school holidays. If they got a question wrong or didn’t get 100%, they could get a detention.

I had one older child who basically didn’t complete school. DD has recently left after doing her exams. Both of them were self-harming and suicidal. DD told me the pressure from school was a big part of how she felt. She didn’t act on the suicidal feelings, but DS did and ended up in hospital.

I really don’t want this to happen with my younger DS.

I do want him to do well at school. I’m not looking for somewhere with no rules, no homework or no expectations. I just don’t want school to take over his whole life or for him to be under that level of pressure.
So I’m not really sure how to choose a school for him.

I know I should go and look around the schools, but an open evening doesn’t necessarily tell me what everyday life would actually be like for DS once he is there.

I’m not able to home educate him or send him to private school.

What should I actually be looking for or asking schools to find out how pressurised they are day to day?

Was DD at grammar school then, if not private? Or the timetable for y11(still incredibly intense and prescriptive)?

None of the state schools I know are run like that. Yes there are rules, discipline, hard work and homework, but nowhere near that level.

That timetable sounds excessive and no wonder your kids got anxious/stressed. But it also sounds incredibly unusual. Definitely shop around and ask their expectations.

The school day should be on the website. My DDs finish at 2.45, with OPTIONAL extra curricular to 4pm 3 days a week (ocasionally 5pm). Longest withoyt a break is 2hrs.

My son is in year 9 no classes after 3pm, only optional clubs. 30 mins homework a couple of nights a week. Your experience sounds like a school that you have deliberately chosen but need not have done - grammar or private?

firstly you don’t have to do their suggested timetable in the evening.

i haven’t heard of masterclass. Is this for students who are gifted and talented or students who are struggling? Either way you/your child does not have to stay after the official school day.

ask on your local Facebook for views. People can private message you

Hi, I have a child at private school and had a child at state school. I really don’t recognise the experience you’ve described for your older child. It’s much stricter than anything my children have experienced.

However I’m not a huge fan of current schooling as I think not great if you aren’t a 6-9 grade GCSEs student. I think there should be a more varied curriculum

No she was at state school.

I didn't choose the school it was given.. itsca state school.

Is this still your local school?

That is a very unusual experience for a state school, so I’d say any other state school should/would be different.

School day at DD’s is 8:45-3:20. Any after school clubs, completely optional. One 15 minute break in the morning and 45 minutes for lunch. The homework varies , but it’s up to them to manage/timetable it in.

Yes i did look some things up. School kept using the word compulsory when it wasn't. Once I realised I took her out of them agreed to do extra math and English only. That went ok for a while. Then of dds teachers told dd me and her had a chat and I said she could do all master classes. Which I hadn't. Teacher then backed off then tried to give her more hone work told her if it wasn't correct she would have to do it all over again plus the normal home work i stopped that as well. She did do home work just not the extra. So i know I could probably do the same again. But I'm not sure if other schools are the same is it better the devil you know? Do i need to try and keep away from united learning.

I'm woundering if it's a united learning thing? May have nothing to do with it. I'm just guessing.

Is that like an academy trust? If yes, then preferably you’d go for a school outside of that as they tend to have pretty similar attitudes/policies.

I’m reallly fascinated to know why you did everything the school told you to- the after school clubs are bad enough but allowing them to timetable your family until 9pm? I don’t know anyone who would abide by this.

Do you know any families with DC at other local non-academy secondary schools to ask what they are like? If not could you post on your local town fb page to ask?

I also have a year 6, and as well as.going to the open evenings I will be doing a lot of chatting to anyone local I know with teenagers!

In my city there's a mix of LA schools, Catholic/C of E Schools and Academies and the Academies seem to be the least popular.

It was an example time table. If dinner was 5,6,7 then you would stop at that time. Then carry on after dinner. If she didn't do the work that would mean detention.

The only bit of your descriptions that I recognise is detention for not completing homework. And the lunch/break times. The rest sounds bonkers! Detention for not getting 100%?! That's way too much pressure on a child.

The timetable thing, well, I'd just ignore that. I'd expect them to complete homework, but not to a specified timetable (other than finishing before the due date).

My kids went to super selective grammar schools, and they were nothing like this! Infact, I'd say the pressure was very little. They were expected to behave, wear correct uniform, and get homework in on time, and there would probably be a detention at my DS's school if they didn't, my DD's school was really quite relaxed about this kind of thing.

If you are looking at secondary schools for your Y6 DS, can you ask specifically about these kind of things when visiting?