DD 10th birthday tomorrow (school day) - is this “normal”?

[Acunningruse]

For context, I have been stressed with work recently, kids only went back to school yesterday and so I haven’t been as focused on DD’s birthday as I ought to have been. Combine that with social media influencers (I know, comparison is the thief of joy, etc) and I just feel I need a reality check that this is the right level of “special” for a mid-week birthday?

Wake up and do presents
her favourite breakfast (waffles) with a candle in and we will sing happy birthday
go to school- (haven’t got badge or sash- could pick up today?)
birthday tea at home with grandparents (she requested this rather than meal out)
cake and candles

Rather than a party we are going away for the weekend but not for 2 weeks.

just checking it seems special enough? I haven’t ordered the big helium balloons this year as it seems such a waste, we take a picture with them and thsts it. But maybe that makes it special? Aaaargghh

Bloody hell, that’s a show. When ours were kids, we used to say Happy Birthday when they woke up and then it was full swing getting a regular breakfast into everyone and out the door. Presents were given after school once the other parent got home, or if other parent was not getting home until late or after bedtime then presents could be opened directly on getting home from school. Dinner was a take-out of the birthday person’s choice (home delivered), finished with a cake/candles and singing Happy Birthday. The end.

All I would add to that is a day out if you can afford to do it this weekend so it’s not just a 2 week wait to go away ? That’s what I do. I take her out for dinner and I also take her out to a soft play or something as such. Everything else sounds great

Yes it’s fine. It’s plenty. Anything else is consumerist waste.

Reusable birthday banner and a couple of old fashioned balloons is nice to come downstairs to, I think. Sainsburys/Tesco's do them . . . Ditto a badge to wear at school, even if just out of sight/on her bag. It stays with you all day - uou look at it in the middle of a maths lesson and smile

Otherwise, great!

So, like you used to, the OP is doing:
special morning
presents
special dinner
cake & singing

Aside from waffles for breakfast, it's the same nice day. No need to call it a show, it's not. It's a nice celebration

Just had a school day birthday, I put bunting up in the kitchen and happy birthday banners, got a helium happy birthday balloon (they love them and it’s just one!), he had his favourite crappy cereal for breakfast, will have cake when he gets home and pizza, sweets and crisps later and they’re all allowed do homework before school in the morning so we can do a board game. Yours sounds great, the waffle is a nice touch!

I think different schools have a different norms. For one of my children, they wear their own clothes but no snacks allowed into school. At the other school, it is uniform and the kids seem to wear a sash or badge and bring in cake/sweets for everyone. I prefer the first option tbh. It really depends what the norm is at your school and fitting with that.

The only thing I would wonder about is a weekend away instead of a party and having nothing with friends. My daughter is the same age and it seems like they are all doing small sleepovers at the moment so something that isn’t really that expensive but is something of a treat to celebrate. I might have been tempted to do something like that on a low key basis with friends in addition to the weekend away.

Otherwise though I think a mid week birthday during school can be a bit flat just like working on your birthday can be. Nothing really you can do about that so I really wouldn’t worry.

Sounds perfect and I wish you were my mum!!! Have a lovely day.

It sounds lovely!

Some ideas if you feel the need to add to it;

trip to coffee shop after school
tub of chocolates to hand out to friends
bubble bath prepared with a bath bomb to drop in
favourite drinks & snacks wrapped in colourful paper in the fridge
let her pick a game for everyone to play (most important one for my kids!)

It is lovely!

That’s exactly what we would do on birthdays when mine were that age op.

Although everyone knows the law. There are three days a year when it’s a legal requirement to eat chocolate for breakfast: Christmas Day, Easter Sunday and your birthday.

Sounds excessive, definitely enough. Social media is just putting unnecessary pressure on everything now.

I have kids of a similar age, and do similar to what you are suggesting. I think it is an ideal opportunity to show them - in a nice way - that something modest but thoughtful and tailored to them (ie fave breakfast or tea or cake or whatever) can make them feel really good without all the OTT stuff you see on the socials. And then as you grow up you realise that the presents and cards that you really love are the ones that show you that your friends really know who you are...that's what feels special, not "insta-friendly" photo opportunities.

I think your plan sounds lovely-more importantly DD has chosen a fair bit of what you mention.

I always booked a days holiday for DS birthday and (bad Mum) kept him off school for the day so we could spend it together-I’m early retired now but DS took his turn and booked day off work for his birthday this year - like cinema every Christmas Eve-it’s just become out ‘thing’.

We never did a sash or balloons or bunting. DD had a badge once but that was when she was 6, at 10 she would have been mortified.

We have the birthday table (well, an everyday table transformed by the magic birthday table cloth)! Used to be a largish coffee table but now a side table as they've got bigger and the presents have got smaller (and more expensive). Birthday table cloth on the table, table positioned prominently in front room for maximum impact and excitement on seeing when birthday person comes downstairs, (particularly good for school day birthdays as it makes them start off special) then presents, cards and ordinary balloons on top filling in any gaps. Looks very special, takes 5 mins to prepare and makes a few presents look much more if you are good at stacking and positioning. We started this long before the internet but it does look nice in the birthday photo as well :)

Mine are in breakfast club.

Happy birthday from parent still at home when they wake up.
Badge for school - given night before. All kids do this at our school. Breakfast club and teachers will say happy birthday
Some kids hand out sweets (or ice poles in summer) to class at hometime
Family party tea with close family presents, mini cake and any cards
Wider family party at weekend
Birthday party/treat with friends depending on age, how much we can afford
Usually make a proper cake for a friends party with leftovers for family party

Yes, absolutely normal. At primary school my kids took the mini haribo bags to give to the class on the way out at the end of the day (still normal in our primary school now). But other than that, your planned day sounds like every weekday birthday we have had here.

How is a special breakfast, presents, and birthday tea with grandparents excessive?? I mean, what would you cut from that (lovely special) day to make it not excessive? No presents? No dinner?

I think it sounds lovely. You don't have to spend a lot to make it a special occasion. I am inclined not to believe half the stuff you see on Instagram anyway.

Sounds amazing and similar to ours!

Stay away from socials and the OTT!

That sounds lovely.

I remember liking having a birthday badge! (Still do to be honest 😂)

It's totally fine @Acunningruse

Please don't do helium balloons. Please don't ever do them again. Helium is a finite resource which as I understand it, is needed for medical purposes.

I am sure her day will be lovely, as will her trip away. Tea at home with GPs and fave breakfast will be so nice. Hope she has a good day.

Sounds identical to our birthdays, banners and bunting we have reused for many years, a few balloons, birthday table cloth, paper plates and cups, we all set it up together as a family the night before as the anticipation is part of the fun. They choose the meals usually pancakes/waffles for breakfast then pizza or party tea later, grandparents come over for cake and sing happy birthday. Nothing wrong with a birthday badge at primary school. Weekend day out somewhere before or after.

Singing happy birthday and a family meal at home is excessive?

Wow life must be fun at your house.

I'm not saying op's plans are underwhelming, they are fine. Personally I would give her a badge to wear to school and stick up some balloons and a banner in the house - not buying new helium balloons with the exact number every time but just generic "happy birthday!" banners that can be reused for years.

Also would have given her the option to have a friend over for the birthday tea or whatever if she wanted.

I don’t think you have to match what influencers are doing but equally don't think you should put a dampener on what you would otherwise normally do just because you are tired/conscious of going ott. You probably only have 1 more year before she gets too old to enjoy birthdays unselfconsciously for a few years (and then according to MN celebrating any birthday over the age of 18 is completely unecessary), I don't think there's anything wrong with making a bit of a fuss (which doesn't have to equate with spending money) if you know she would enjoy it.

The only bit that sticks out to me is that you usually do big balloons and taoe photos etc - she might not compare herself to influencers but she will be aware if her siblings got things for their birthdays a few months ago that she doesn't get. Doesn't mean you have to get them (I agree they're a waste) but just make sure that if she gets a fairly low key birthday don't ramp it back up for the next one just because they are younger or their birthday falls in a more convenient time.