1st day of specialist secondary school for DS and he hated it :(((

[Stressedout150]

Ok so I totally understand I am being very dramatic.

however been on such a journey with my autistic son, after a year and a half of fighting Surrey council, finally was overjoyed that he was given my preferred ASD specialist school.

small classes, lots of 1-1, outstanding rated my OFsted in all areas and I loved it when I went to visit.

He had his first day there today, and I was so hoping he’d come out with a smile, but he’s been crying on and off since pick up. He said he hates it, doesn’t want to go back, he saw another child shouting and swearing at the teachers and he didn’t like it- and also it’s all so different.

its so demoralising :((( I know it’s only one day- but it’s not how I hoped it would go.

he has been assessed and would never cope in a mainstream setting due to his needs with his autism- so we are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I just feel so sad this evening :(

I know it’s only day 1, but I’m so sad for him

Sorry to hear that and sounds tough for both of you. I have a child with additional needs and it’s so bloody hard as you just want the best for them. Be careful that he does not pick up on your feelings and try and be positive and reassuring. It could have been a one off the incident of swearing (maybe that child found the first day really difficult and didn’t cope with it the best way). Was it just that incident or was there anything else that he found upsetting? Was there anything positive he said about the day? If yes, try and focus on that. Tomorrow morning, be as positive as possible and could you make it an enjoyable day if you say you thought you could his fav takeout/meal out or sweets when he gets back as a treat?

I have PM'd you OP.

I'm sorry to hear it's been a tough first day! First days are filled with a lot of expectation, from everyone, and with the journey you've all had the stakes feel higher.

Each day will get a bit easier. You've got this OP!

Today was hard and felt difficult but that doesn’t mean that every day will feel like that. Don’t spiral with him. It was one frightening experience.

I’d probably mention it to the school if you can, just that he was overwhelmed by this incident. And have a favourite dinner or movie or treat when he comes home, So he has something to look forward to.

It’s the first day. Lots of kids hate secondary on the first day when it’s all unfamiliar, never mind ASD kids who are more likely to struggle with unfamiliar environments and routine changes. Give it time.

It’s often difficult to begin with. I remember my autistic son coming home upset on the first day of SEN secondary and it took in a term to properly settle in. Don’t let him see you’re upset, just carry on with the routine as that’s what will help the most. Remember that this is a huge transition, so even if it is the right place, he has to work through all that and he will do it in his own time. Just keep focused on the routine. If he is still really unsettled after a few more days, just let the school know.