Ridiculous but feeling miserable

[Imaginingdragonsagain]

Eldest DC is about to go to uni. Always had a good relationship with them and DC who is just starting sixth form. Gutted DC 1 is going away and suddenly DC2 who has always been lovely has turned into teenager - doesn’t really want anything to do with me, grumpy. At the same time they’ve decided to give up their high level sport so assume that’s tied into it and just met a boy they liked and been on a few dates but he’s at college a couple of hours away so won’t seem them much. So clearly other stuff going on. But it’s stupid, I feel bereft. Losing DC1 at the same time as losing relationship with DC2.
Have also dropped the ball and seem to have forgotten to have friends. I do have some, but we don’t often meet up due to distance or work, or because they have lots of other friends they see.
I know I need to sort myself out but it just seems so hard. How do I go about making friends?!
Sorry, not really expecting any answers!

Firstly, not ridiculous at all. My twins both started uni last year and I know entirely how you feel. In my experience it’s this anticipation period thats worse and once at uni this sadness eases very quickly. I’m fact I feel it now after the summer break as much as last year.

You don’t say if you work or are married. I found between spending time with my husband, the few friends I have, work, and doing jobs round the house it eased quickly.

My advice would be do something you love, craft club, exercise class, going to the gym, walking group, book club, anything. You will at least meet acquaintances that enjoy the same hobbies even if you don’t become friends. If you don’t work do a little bit of volunteering. Honestly they come back for holidays before you know it.

Sending sympathy. The time before they leave is tough! Bear in mind DC2 may also be sad about DC1 leaving.

This!!

DC2 has only ever known life with DC1 around so it's a huge wrench for them too.

When DS1 went to University DS2 was openly worried about (quote) "being stuck with a pair of old people" but he got used to it pretty quickly and quite liked having our undivided attention.

Thank you all for your kindness, I feel ridiculous and struggle to open up to people in real life. Yes, I am married and do work. Have had a new boss in last few months and increased my house so I’m still a bit overwhelmed with that I think. It’s awful isn’t it, all you really want as a parent is to set them up for happy fulfilled adult lives, but I didn’t realise how hard them leaving was going to be!

Try connecting either old friends first. Call them up ask if they’d like to meet up for coffee/lunch. If you connected before it may well happen again and they may be feeling the same as you!