What’s with all the doubt?

[Rubyscurls]

I have phases of coming onto Mumsnet and sometimes it’s been really helpful. I’ve been using it over a decade.

When I started reading threads, there might be a small number of unsupportive people or threads derailed, but now it can get a bit annoying. Some people seem to have a soapbox they want to insert. Some seem hellbent on running the OP round in circles by not reading updates. Some will fixate on a small detail. Some will ask for further details of harrowing experiences that lend nothing to the OP’s question. Some will accuse the OP of lying, even when OP acknowledges it sounds unbelievable. Why don’t they scroll past or if it’s worrying, just report?

Given it’s a parenting website, the palpable dislike of children from some posters is so strange as though all children are evil. People chase the OP down too if they don’t sit on a thread all day (it can be annoying if OP doesn’t come back, but there are probably reasons and life’s moved on is a reason)!

These are all from this week!

Because many posters on here are sad lonely people with no social life and enjoy making others feel bad.

The thing that annoys me the most is the people who are clearly suffering from anxiety and try to make everyone else anxious too by expressing shock and outrage at normal life things. (I've noticed this is a very common trait in anxious people, they complain they are anxious but make it their life mission to make all those around them anxious too). Most of these relate to parenting, people who think anyone who doesn't hover over their kids 24/7 is somehow neglectful. They seem to get a kick out of berating OP for regular things 'you let your 12 year old go to the shop?!' Then they point out risks that no normal person would worry about in the context, what if they are abducted, what if they are killed by a drunk driver who mounts the footpath, what if they buy jellies and choke on the side of the road etc.

Some people on here are not posting with the best of intentions. They like to, for want of a better word, shit stir and go out of their way to antagonise other posters.

The level has increased certainly. I’m imagining IRL how it would play out.
J: I treated myself to a haircut and blow dry, then a bird pood on it on the way home

G: Is this a stealth boast?
M: serves you right for walking
P: were you on your phone?
A: did you pay for it from benefits
B: I don’t believe you. I use a mobile hairdresser. This doesn’t happen.
N: That reminds me of when a bird didn’t poo on me.
L: Thought schools had gone back
W: sorry OP, that’s unlucky

lol, that’s exactly it!

You forgot the anxious poster:
S: bird poo? You might get bird flu. I'd bin the clothes you were wearing. I hope you had a dettol bath when you got home.

😂😂😂
you forgot - this is misandry, if op were a man blah blah blah

It’s got to the point where posters are being unreasonable to post on AIBU and expect reasonable responses, yes.

That board is a fucking shithole of a place.

@

My ‘active’ page instantly became a LOT more sensible when I hid AIBU. That was years ago and I’ve never missed it

As someone who suffers with anxiety (but works fucking hard to acknowledge and tackle it and have been in therapy for ages) these people are not trying to foster anxiety in everyone else - they genuinely believe these is a reason for terror at very basic things.

Not that long ago I managed to convince myself my daughter was going to get sepsis from a basic graze. My rational head knew this was ridiculous and I was able to talk it through with my DH (yes, he can be phenomenal) but my body didn’t get the message and I shook for about three hours and didn’t sleep at all.

Yes, it’s ridiculous. But it’s shit. Please just nod and move on; there’s no need to accuse these poor sufferers of anything other than the mental illness they do actually have.

@WhatNextImScaredit sounds like you are very self aware though and I agree it does sound shit. The difference is how you act not how you feel. I wouldn't judge someone for having an irrational repetitive thought like your child developing sepsis, but I do judge someone for their actions ie posting in reply to someone on a public forum suggesting their child might have sepsis, trying to terrify a stranger, while knowing they have a MH diagnosis. They shouldn't really be doling out advice at all if mentally ill. Perhaps there are many posters out there who genuinely don't know they have this type of anxiety and genuinely believe their anxieties to be true but I find it hard to imagine as there seem to be so many of them.

You should actually post that as an AIBU! V good!

It seems that so many posters on here seem to forget that they don't actually have to post a response when they're reading a thread.

Like the pp about anxiety, she's defending the people who put up anxiety inducing responses as people genuinely feel fear and anxiety over irrational things. That's fine, people get anxiety but you don't need to actually type out and post about it surely if you know it's your irrational mind.

And that's not getting into the ones that just post nasty, goady responses to try and rile the OP