Trauma bonds… when is enough, “enough”!?

[sodoffbeforemycupofcoff]

It’s draining.

10 months and he’s still in my head.

Will I ever get over this?

I cannot move on because I believe i am scared of other men after what he’s done to me.
Well, it is either that or I don’t want to admit to loving, that I still love him and I do not want to let go of my feelings for him, although I never want to see him again in my life.

I am so confused. After all he did to me, HOW can he still feel like home to me!?
I miss the same arms around me that pinned me down. threw things at me, destroyed my belongings. I hate myself for feeling this way.

It is draining and 100% a long game.
You've done the hard part and every day you are away from him you are rewiring your brain chemistry. I suspect this pattern started before him, in your childhood. Mine did.
Keep going. It gets better, it gets easier. I promise it won't always feel like this.
Sending you a hug x