Feeling nervous about meeting an old school friend after 51 years

[Slyngel]

I'm 69 and next week I am due to meet up for dinner with an old school friend who I have not seen for 51 years. She was at school with me. We both left school at 18 to go to different universities. It was a different era, the past is another country etc.
The meet-up has been arranged by a friend who I have kept up with from schooldays and who bumped into this "girl" (I still think of her as a girl) a couple of years ago and has had a few lunches with her over these past two years and has seemed to enjoy becoming re-acquainted.
I always felt in awe of this girl. She was very clever and socially successful, both inside and outside school. I was an ugly duckling and kept a low profile with few friends. She had a (slightly) superior attitude towards me (and indeed others) but she was by no means unpleasant or nasty. My feelings of inferiority were entirely my fault.
I have agreed to this meet-up so don't feel comfortable to back out now, but I am feeling kind of nervous. I never married or had kids and have always lived a quiet (although very happy!) life.
I have to admit to an element of curiosity to meet this old friend but just wondered if anyone has done something similar and can share how you dealt with any old feelings of inadequacy surfacing.
Maybe I am just being self-absorbed and stupid (please tell me if so!)

Why would you do this?! I can't imagine how awkward it would be meeting up with someone you used to know after that long. Cancel and do not feel a shred of guilt.

I think you should go. I wouldn’t do dinner though. Maybe lunch or even just a coffee. You never know, you may have a great time. But if not you’ve lost nothing. You don’t have to see her again.

I think you need to reframe this as meeting with a friend of a friend. It's a very long time since school, neither of you are really the same people. Approach it with confidence in how you have lived your life and ask questions about her life. If it falls flat, you don't need to meet again.

Gosh no wonder you're nervous the women is effectively a stranger. I wouldn't be going in all honesty.

Go… enjoy your dinner. If it goes well, you’ll have a new friend. If not, you don’t ever have to see her again, no big deal. I don’t overthink things like this.

I think it’s a lovely idea and you may make a new friend out of it. I’ve only recently became reacquainted with an old school friend from 25 years ago and I’m so excited about meeting her again and sharing stories, reminiscing and making friends all over again! She clearly wants to see you too so I don’t know why you’d cancel, if it doesn’t go well then at least you’ve tried but go with a positive mind frame. Enjoy your evening!!

Ooooh intriguing! I’d definitely go! Just enjoy finding out about another persons life and the company of your friend. Think about what you’d like to share about your life. Have a couple of anecdotes to tell and relax and enjoy listening and asking questions too. Nothing to lose! If she’s not your cup of tea you never have to see her again.

Thanks for all these helpful replies.

It was originally supposed to be lunch but was changed to dinner due to my own friend being unavailable for lunch due to a family commitment. It wasn't possible to change the date due to the "old" friend not living in this area but on a short visit here which she apparently does a few times a year. So dinner it is, I'm afraid.

When I originally agreed to the meet-up it was supposed to be lunch.

I agree with the first reply questioning why I am doing this. I could back out, it's still an option.

I find the positivity of several of the replies very positive(!). I confessed to an element of curiosity about meeting this girl (excuse my use of the term but I think of her as a girl). She featured memorably in my adolescent years (13 to 18), in some ways good (we had an element of academic competition which was not a bad thing; laziness was/is a character trait of mine) and in some ways not so good (she did bring out feelings of social inferiority in me which lasted well beyond schooldays for me, I'm not putting any blame or responsibility on her for this, it's just how it was). I like the idea of satisfying my curiosity about how life has been for her. I will be careful to guard my privacy (as the saying goes) and not reveal too much of my life details/innermost thoughts/beliefs etc. As someone said, it could turn in to a new (late life) friendship, not a re-kindling of what we had before. Unlikely, I know, but worth the risk.

I may report back!

You have had a happy life and no doubtless lots you can say if you choose to (or not say much). You may also find out about others that you have not seen since.

Glad you have decided to go.

F

Definitely go and meet her! It's a chance to feel 18 again. Relive your schooldays for good or ill. Satisfy your curiosity as to how her life turned out and make sure you talk about your own. I can understand it might feel a bit daunting but you're a grown woman - you can make conversation for a couple of hours with a stranger. We do it all the time on planes and in hospital waiting rooms. This is someone with whom you were formerly very well acquainted. She's clearly curious to meet up and you are too. Take old school photos and magazines if you have any..that would definitely fill any awkward silences. Over the next few days think a lot about your schooldays, the classes you shared, the building, the teachers. See what your subconscious reveals to you in your dreams :)
Do report back if you want to!!

Surprised at so many people saying don’t go. It’s one evening out of your life, yes it could be awkward, but equally you could have a really lovely time. Think positive and tell yourself ‘whatever happens, I’m going to enjoy myself.’