What’s the vibe of Hertfordshire?

[ThatSunnyFawn]

We’ve just left London after 15-20 years for the NE to be close to my Mum after my Dad passed. I’ve been here three months and I can’t wait to leave again. Recent gang violence aside, I absolutely cannot raise my child here. There is a culture of devaluing education so if you are a child who happens to be intelligent and work hard at school, you very quickly learn to abandon this in order to fit in and even if you do manage to get through school, there are a lack of professional jobs. I want to be clear I’m not judging or attaching value/worth to the people of areas like these, it’s systemic deprivation and we can debate the consequences of that all day but that’s a separate conversation. I also want to say that I’m from one of the most deprived areas of the NE and happened to be the rare child who managed to navigate through that and gained access to a Russell Group education, so I have lived experience of what it’s like, probably a bit of a sensitive wound there and obviously don’t want to put my child through the same experience.

We are wanting to move back down South so we can have the countryside which we are now used to but also be able to easily get into London to see friends and go to the odd office day. We are considering Hertfordshire as we can easily get to our old homes in North London and the NE.

I know that Hertfordshire is a large county so I will slim it down to Hitchin, Letchworth, Welwyn Garden City and Hertford.

What is it really like to raise a child in these places? Do you have a wide range of extracurricular activities to choose from? How are the schools and general attitude to education? Do you find that parents are, in general, more hands on and attentive with their children? And as a result of that, do you find that overall, children tend to be respectful? I know this is a loaded question but please bear in mind the context of why I’m asking.

The other day a seven year old stepped out onto a very busy road in front of my car and when I beeped my horn he put his fingers up and acted like he was going to fight me. There are toddlers and young infants walking around my area on their own. This is like 70% of the town here. I’d like to move to a place that maybe has 30% of areas like this.

I know this is probably a sensitive topic and I’m trying to be as tactful as I can in order not to cause unnecessary offence, whilst staying true to my own lived experience and my desire to do what’s best for my child’s development and future.

Why are you picking the non-posh end of Hertfordshire? Affordability? If so then Hitchin is the ‘naicest’ of your list.
(the posh bit is over towards the Chilterns, Berko/Tring/st Albans)

An affordability and space issue, we can go down to three bedrooms but can’t really push to pay a premium for it unfortunately. We could get into St Albans if we sacrifice on space and area, which might be the way to go if it’s infinitely better than neighbouring areas.

That’s great to hear about Hitchin as that is currently at the top of our list. We’ve had a few short visits and it was definitely lovely.

Where do you live at the moment?

Then do look at Berkhamsted, very nice town, everything walkable, brilliant train line into London.

Hitchin has excellent secondary schools all of which place an emphasis on academics and get excellent results. It has a nice vibe and the trains are fine most of the time.

Hertford, Welwyn etc isn't exactly the not posh side of Hertfordshire! Nothing like what the OP has described above - very affluent, good schools, no real 'rough' areas.

Thank you for this, it’s super helpful. I know people answer within their frame of reference but mine is a little wider 😅 I’ve heard people talk about ‘rough’ areas of WGC and I have to remind myself it’s probably not in the same bracket as some areas I know.

It’s reassuring to hear about the schools. Would you say they tend to be areas where the environment is more or less set up to succeed? As long as you possess ability, work ethic and parental support.

Hertford and Ware have great academic schools.

Hertford/Ware/Bishops Stortford have excellent schools.

Hitchin is nice, with good schools.

Letchworth is ok, schools aren’t great, but chance of a place in hitchin schools.

loads of extracurricular. Herts music service is excellent so pretty much everyone we know does instrument lessons through school. Some of the local schools have excellent music offerings with a variety of bands and orchestras. Swimming clubs are good. Lots of kids do horse riding (not mine!). Loads of dance schools. Scouting is strong and active. Fencing and climbing are available. Good football, rugby, netball, tennis, cricket opportunities. Plenty of drama opportunities. What exactly are you looking for?

Yes - it's all relative isn't it, I live more East Herts which I would say is a bit of a different vibe to Welwyn Hatfield where there may well be 'rougher' areas - East Herts is more of that green leafy small market towns and lots of countryside feel so you can get the best of both worlds. That's what I really like about living here, I grew up in South West Herts originally and it's a very different feel, that's much more urban/metrapolitan and certainly didn't feel affluent or aspirational back then. It had the advantage of being easier to get to London but that was about all it had going for me.

Round here, it definitely has an aspirational feel in a lot of areas, sometimes maybe a bit too much - it can very much be what work you're having done on the house/what clubs are your kids doing/where are you going on holiday but obviously that's not necessarily a bad thing. But yes, in the main people want to get on, get the best for their kids etc.

Welwyn is the least fancy on your list but still absolutely fine. Hertfordshire in general is a family friendly place with loads of extracurricular activities and good schools, including private and there is a culture of Tutoring to get into certain schools in some areas.

I would visit and see what you think.

This is great! Thank you for taking the time to share that. I’m not really looking for anything specific in terms of extracurriculars, just the knowledge that they are available and very much part of the culture of the area.

I don’t know if anyone will understand this but I want my child to remain soft. Where I’m from and where we are currently staying, there are available but limited options in regard to classes and at the point where the child might start taking the activity seriously by investing more time and showing more interest, the comments will start. Things that shame the child and pressure them to quit, “it’s a waste of time, why are you bothering? You think you’re better than everyone else” and it often evolves into outright bullying. It’s tall poppy syndrome. This way of thinking and behaving then becomes normalised. I’ve had a lot of unlearning and self-care to do as an adult and the thought of 1) my child missing out and 2) becoming toxic as hell, makes me incredibly sad.

I wish I could say the behaviour stops at a certain age but I’m 36 with Invisalign and I’m now constantly pressured to take them out 😮‍💨

Hertfordshire is the opposite of what you describe tbh. It’s good but parenting can be very competitive with everyone pushing their kids to be ‘gifted’ in some way and achieve in sports/ music/ academics all at once. If you’re near the bucks borders the 11+ chat will kick in pretty hard and fast. Very tedious. But if you can rise above it, it’s fine.

Surely there must be nicer areas in the NE ?
What about Durham or Hexham or Newcastle ?
What you are describing sounds like the sort of sink estate mentality that could be found anywhere including in the South.
It's it because you are trying to live very near where you grew up.
To be near your mother?.
What about moving slightly further out like North Yorkshire?
Harrogate is very nice or Northallerton.
Maybe you've already considered all this.
I quite understand why you wouldn't want to remain where you are.
But how vast does it extend ?

Hitchin sounds like it would fit the bill for you, I've lived in Hitchin and Letchworth and Stevenage but don't go there!, and they are both decent. Hitchin is probably more the multicultural of the two, and is an old market town dating back many hundreds of years. Letchworth GC was purpose-built as the first Garden City in the early 1900's. You could maybe also look at Baldock, or hop over the border into Bedfordshire.

Trains from the area to London are fast, and the A1M is close by too.

What about other parts of the NE places like Morpeth are lovely and affordable with excellent schools and aspirational families

For schools, children’s activities and commuting to London with decent housing options Hitchin is the best option on your list.

There are nicer parts of the NE absolutely. I don’t know Durham well but looked lovely from the minimal visits I’ve had. Newcastle does have jobs and we could afford to live in the nicer parts but my partner doesn’t like it. Both locations would also put us in a position where we are at least an hours drive from family and also further away from our friends in London, which we do consider to be our home. My family are closer to North Yorkshire, which I absolutely love. Northallerton, Stokesley and Saltburn are great and we visit regularly and have considered moving to but there are no ‘outstanding’ schools and lack a strong professional jobs market. There is however, a decent but extortionate private school nearby so we could kind of make it work if we end up staying in the NE.

The fear is that the spread does extend quite far. You have a town that is suffering with gang crime, drugs and deprivation with only a small, underfunded police force. The surrounding villages are more affluent but prime targets for burglaries. There have also been some cases of people higher up in the drugs chain buying property in nicer areas, then getting their house rammed or set on fire when there’s a turf war with a rival gang.

Truthfully though, I just don’t think I fit here any more sadly. If I did, I’m sure I could excuse or look past a few less serious things.

That’s good to be aware of. I don’t want to go from one extreme to the other.

North Herts (Baldock/royston/letchworth) isn’t nearly as pushy. Schools are good (Baldock the best of the three) but not the sort you move house for. Hitchin and B Stortford much more the sort of town you move to to get a good state school.

far enough from the grammar schools that it’s just not an option or an issue. People enjoy doing all sorts of things. But for fun rather than pressure. In my experience.

We are near SW Herts - Rickmansworth, Chorleywood - good schools, close to the bucks grammars. Maybe more expensive than north Herts unless you go towards Watford. What about Harpenden?