Quick workplace dilemma

[Workplacedilemma84]

Name changed and posting this in chat for a range if responses -

I have an ongoing issue with my line manager who blocked an internal promotion last year due to staffing issues in our team

He has also been refusing parental leave requests

I've raised this with HR but while these issues are ongoing I don't feel comfortable attending a 1 to 1 meeting

Am I able to decide the invitation for these meetings?

I'm actively looking for other jobs and this is getting me down so much

It just doesn't feel appropriate to meet with h given this context

TIA for any opinions

If relevant, I'm in finance in a big ISH team so he is able to send info and actions needed through other channels

Are you in a union?
Could you meet him and take a representative with you?

No not in a union

I don't care enough about the job to fight the situation if that makes sense

Just need to gently get myself out

You have a right to be accompanied to certain meetings (e.g disciplinary hearing or grievance meeting) or as a reasonable adjustment.

It doesn’t sound like this is a meeting you have a right to be accompanied to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask.

Neither of those feel like strong reasons to refuse a one to one meeting. Do you think he might be abusive or shout at you? Professionals should be able to work together even if you didn’t get a promotion

Is there an HR rep you can speak with, is there anything they can suggest that might help? I imagine one-to-ones are an important part of the job.

Why doesn't it feel appropriate?

What do you think may happen?

I didn't get the promotion because of him though

He is deeply unpleasant and I think he will twist anything said in a face to face meeting

I find him deeply untrustworthy so I just don't want to be around him

Could you ask for a new line manager and just explain you aren't feeling supported in your career? If it's a big organisation.

If not I would just suck it up!

Thank you for all the questions/comments so far, they are helpful

He’s your manager so you can’t just outright refuse to be around him because you think he is untrustworthy.

Check your workplace policy for handling workplace issues e.g you’ve raised it with HR, are they within their time frames for handling it? Chase it up with them if not.

It’s tricky to avoid 1:1 meetings. I think saying the least amount possible is key. If you’re put on the spot ‘I’ll get back to you’ is a good response and start by saying you’ll be taking a few notes to make sure you don’t miss anything.

I don't think you can refuse to attend one-on-one meetings with your line manager. It's a pretty standard expectation of a job.

@Workplacedilemma84 Could you ask for more information about why you did not get the promotion from HR, or - if they stopped you applying- what development plan you need to get it in the future. Surely that could be a private meeting with you and HR. Then generate action points from that that are agreed so that one individual cannot block you?
Are there opportunities in the "other channels" that would stop you reporting to this manager

You can’t refuse to meet with your manager, if you feel physically unsafe them request hr is present.

as for not getting the job due to him, I think you will find they will say it was as you were not the right fit. I understand you feel you were.

his refusal for paternity leave, is more complex, assume you’ve an entitlement by law and you fit the criteria?

Thank you

No the promotion was due to him

It was classed as a temporary secondment and so I needed his permission to be released from my role

He doesn't reply to emails regarding parental leave

Again thanks all - really appreciate the thoughts