Incentivising chores with pocket money - can it ever be a good idea?

[Verbena91]

I know the general consensus is that chores / household tasks should be considered a general expectation for our DC and that incentivising with pocket money sends the wrong message - and I see this. However I’m really hoping to kickstart my DS to do a few more tasks and wondering if pocket money towards a goal would help it become a new habit. He is 6 btw.

He is 6 going on 16 really, and not the type to volunteer to help, although has sometimes got into a few tasks with me like gardening and sorting odd socks. It’s more the regular things I’m hoping to boost this school year, like always putting his plate in the sink and always making his bed. He’s naturally quite messy. I thought if we could build a habit (eg each day you do x task you get another 20p towards your goal or whatever) it might help log it onto his brain a bit more.

I wondered if anyone has positive experiences of incentivising chores through pocket money?

It's a bad idea. I just told my DC: no one gets paid to keep their own home clean and tidy. We do it because we like living in a nice, welcoming home.

I made it fun - easy jobs with a timer set for 5 or 10 mins. Upbeat music on. A treat after it was done. One hour Saturday mornings, everyone mucks in.

I did offer to pay DC later on for helping me with things that they could do and i couldn't - like downloading apps and navigating new phones.

My view is that many parents just give a weekly allowance/pocket money with no asks tied to it. That’s fine and a choice but I believe earning it works better. It helps him understand money has a value and isn’t just given.

he contributes in a bunch of other ways to family life and I think pocket money being tied to a task is irrelevant if it drives towards a certain behaviour and if done repetitively becomes a learned behaviour - which I’m now seeing. For a year he has made his own bed without being asked and no monetary compensation - which started off at 25p. Therefore we have moved on to other tasks. Would I ask him to do them without pocket money? Sure. However I don’t ask him at all, he just does it. There is no tensions and no nagging as he has learnt through motivation (pocket money) that this behaviour gives him results.

I ask him to do lots of other things as hoc and he does then, sometimes whinges and moans and sometimes I ask multiple times - but he does them. However the tasks above are repetitive and they’re his to own and if he doesn’t do them, I don’t do them for him. He simply doesn’t earn his pocket money. I don’t nag him if he doesn’t, he simply understands the consequence.

It works really well for us. Before pocket money we used to do the same with a star chart and he was motivated by that too, but we did different jobs that were more developmental.

This won’t suit all children and all families but works amazingly for us and we never have any morning stress or actually any stress in the house. I never feel like it’s just me sorting everything and he just gets on and adds a little tick to his chart. I sort the washing and his sees it and carries it and packs it away etc unprompted.

@PloddingAlong21thank you so much. It really doh ds like it’s working for you. So can I ask, do you add a tuck to the chart each time eg the bed is made and then at the end of the week the according amount is transferred to Revolut?