Anyone else feel rootless after growing up without family connections or history

[Newnamesameme]

I am NC with all of family. Nc completely with mother. Don't know father at all. No contact with mothers family who now live in another country. Have no siblings.
I have no family history at all. My childhood was very chaotic with lots of moves and I have lots of gaps like childhood amnesia. I feel like I have no roots. I now have my own family but they have no extended family on my side at all. Has anyone else been in this position and can empathise. I feel a bit rootless if you know what I mean? I cant join in on early childhood conversations or have no memories of having ahome. The older I get the more I feel I missed out on.
Speaking to NC mother is not an option. She is incredibly narcissistic most likely has a personality disorder and a compulsive liar. She wouldn't tell me anything truthful.
I realise there is no solution but I wonder if anyone else has felt similar.

I’m so sorry, that sounds really tough. Have you considered doing a DNA test to see if you can find out more about your Father’s side? Not necessarily finding him but getting an idea of where he may have come from and seeing if you have any other relatives show up. Just a thought.

I can relate to that.

I grew up feeling very isolated. My father had no contact with his parents, I had no siblings and my mother's family lived quite far away.

I went low contact and then no contact with my own parents when I became an adult because of their controlling and abusive behaviour.

So I have had no family support for the majority of my life.

Also I did a DNA test and found out my father was an 'illegitimate' child and that my real grand father was from a different ethnicity. So I will never know what happened there or met anyone from that side of my family.

All very messed up.

I moved to a different country and a big city when I was 20 and did my best to build my own identity but yes it does feel rather rootless.

Yes.

Sorry to hear from others who have been through similar. DNA testing wouldn't be of huge benefit. I know where my father was born etc. I feel a little bit alone in the world despite having my own family and u feel guilty that they only have haf their history as well. I suppose therapy might help but im.not really sure if it's a feeling that will ever go away.