Am I crazy to accept a major promotion with a longer commute?

[Crazycommute]

I have accepted a new job. It's about 1hr driving commute each way 3 days a week and more like 1hr 15 on two days a week (two sites)

Moving closer is not an option (moved last year and love where we are, forever home) and work from home would be only occasionally and probably not regularly (at least not to begin with)

My current commute is 15 mins

The job is a massive promotion and 25k more money

I felt good about it but everyone I talk to seems horrified by the commute I will be doing

I have two young kids and that's the only thing that makes me hesitate but I will be home by 6 and they have great childcare / family help in place and the job has brilliant annual leave so can be off most holidays and half terms, and they would be flexible about sickness, parents evening etc.

Am I crazy? I don't feel like it's beyond what a lot of people do, I am in a fairly cushy position commute wise at the moment and it's annoying this is changing but everything else about the role seems so much better.

It’s only three days a week. It’s much harder to find part time ways to progress your career like this. I wouldn’t hesitate and would make it up to the kids by being as present as possible in my time with them. Of course they will also benefit from the extra 25K and the things you will be able to do with them.

Thanks, although it is 5 days a week! If only it was three!

Sorry, totally misunderstood. Home by 6 is fine, if you ask me! Plenty of people are getting home much later than that. Sometimes the commute can provide a bit of decompression time after work so you’re more present once you do get home.

I think you’d be mad not to give it a go, you’ll soon find out if it’s manageable or not. You’d very much regret not giving it a go, I think. It will be tiring in terms of the commute, but I’d rather being doing a job that energises me and dealing with a tiring commute, than stagnating in a job I’ve outgrown.

Sounds like a great opportunity. How old are the kids? Will they be looked after well? Will you be able to down tools in the evenings?

Yessss thank you! That was my thoughts too but everyone seems to think my commute is bonkers whereas I see it as not ideal but worth it in long run! Someone even said 'what about the kids' as if I was trading them in or something!

7 and 3, mix of nursery, school, after-school club and grandparents locally and my partner will be home by 5 / 5:30 childcare arrangements won't change much from what they are now to be honest just a couple more gp pick ups and a less leisurely morning routine!

Congratulations @Crazycommute.

An hour plus commute is fairly standard around here, even the kids have 90 mins to college. You will get used to it quickly and with the perks you have described, you'd be crazy not to take it!

I don’t think 1hour and 15 minutes is too long of a commute. You’ll be in your car so comfortable, you seem to have a good support network and you get a decent pay rise. I’d definitely go for it @Crazycommute . Congrats 🥂

It does sound like you’re feeling really positive about it, which is a good sign. It’s not like you’ll be getting home after bedtime, you’ll still be there for all the important parts of the day.

I’ve done that sort of commute and longer off and on throughout my working life (never had one less than 40-45 minutes). I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite part of the day but you do get used to it. Bear in mind congestion and accidents can make the journey longer on occasions.

You don’t have to do it forever if you find it’s too much. Shame not to give the opportunity a go.

I spent a lot longer than that commuting for most of my career, much of it on public transport. I don’t think 75 minutes each way is excessive, particularly bearing in mind your salary increase. When my daughter was living back home a couple of years ago, she was commuting from south London to Birmingham theee days a week on public transport - it took her 2.5 hours each way, but she quite enjoyed the train journey and was able to catch up on work and read.

I did a one hour commute for virtually all of my working life. I'd take it.

Go for it, Op. And congratulations!

Tough one. I had an hour commute each way 5 days a week years ago when the kids were very young and it nearly destroyed me. I loved the job but the hour was regularly not an hour with there being accidents and just shit traffic almost every day.

I did it for years because I did really loved the job but when I was offered a similar position 5 mins from home I jumped at the chance. No regrets at all, it was the best move and I look back now and wonder how I was ever as mad doing that commute every day!

To the person who asked 'what about the kids?', I'd simply ask them if they would ask a dad that question. They obviously wouldn't...

I had similar questions and comments 14 years ago when I went for a big FT promotion. Some of my mum friends from back then are now frantically looking at their pension projections and wishing tihey had done similar moves to me. I recently asked my 25yo DD if she looked back and wished I'd been at more school events and done more pick ups. Her reply was definitely not and she more appreciated the career tips, SLT perspective and coaching that I'm able to give her as she builds her own career

You seem to have good childcare in place so you should go for it!

I think due to the fact you have such a good set up at home - with childcare and your DH gets home earlier than you - then go for it.

It sounds like this is a choice you have actively made and it’s what you want. It’s other people’s reactions that are bothering you. Don’t let them bother you. You don’t need their validation. It’s your choice that counts.

It’ll be fine. I had a long car commute when my DC were small and I always quite liked the peace and quiet of it!! Download some audiobooks/podcasts and the time will fly by.

Also in my experience some people always like to find a negative when something good happens to someone else. So don’t pay too much attention to people being horrified by your commute - I expect some of them would’ve found a negative if your office was only 2 minutes away.

Congratulations and good luck with it!

Congratulations! You’ve obviously thought it through and decided it was worth it. You have loads of support around you and a great plan. Am guessing if you kept asking questions you’d find some sort of misogynistic thinking in there and that’s just ridiculous.

I did this four years ago, quick car drive to 90 minutes into London. Have never regretted it once, I love my job, the money and the career progression it’s given me

I did a similar commute in my last job and one of the reasons for leaving was the commute. Its over an extra working day added onto the week and it wore me out. Audiobooks really helped. And being organised for the week also helped. And maybe if I enjoyed the job more (and, I will be frank, paid more) maybe the tiredness and the commute would have been worth it.

I have been out of that job for 2 years. Would I do it again for an extra 25k? Maybe! Maybe not. Tough call.

Congratulations on the promotion. It would be a shame to stunt your career, so worth trying it out for a year?

Genuinely thanks so much everyone! That's put my mind at ease and yes I agree I doubt anyone would ask my husband about the kids in that context! And yes I'm going to stock up on audiobooks and podcasts! I can certainly manage it for a couple of years and see where it takes me! Thanks everyone!

I wouldn't if it is 5 days. Could you negotiate to 3 or 4 days? I would stay with the current only from personal experience. I have made similar decision myself to keep the 3 days. I would consider 4 but not 5

It would be a no for me, but that’s because I’ve got a reasonably decent set up in that I work from home almost permanently (face to face day once every other month). Money doesn’t really motivate me once I’ve got enough to pay the bills and save a bit.

How good is the annual leave really? Unless it’s education will you really get all of the holidays off? The downside of my new role is having to have two of us in at all times which impacts school holiday leave as most want it, which means my decent entitlement doesn’t go as far as I’d like.

Dont forget to do the maths. That extra commute is going to cost with the rising price of gas. Plus wear on the car. How much of the rise are you going to keep after being robbed by the tax man? If you work at more than one site can you offset any of that money spent on travel?